Is an apology enough?

Shawn T., Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 01:27:45 GMT

I think that she is craving the limelight now. She seems to be "acting" as well. The photos of her sitting at the window, with hair all done up, and looking forlorn, just screams "made-for-tv" movie. I pity her but this is just a woman who wants publicity. She really seems like a phony.

Is an apology enough?

Lea H. Corpus Christi, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 01:42:51 GMT

Liz needs to get a life. This same thing happens (UNFORTUNATELY)to a lot of women and ya know....you don't let it "ruin" your life. Liz wouldn't be such a miserable person had she tried forgiveness. Everyone knows that you give your attacker power over you if you don't forgive them. The power is in the forgiveness. Liz, he didn't take your life, you've ruined your own life. Pity for you.

Is an apology enough?

ann. Langa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 01:43:13 GMT

God this woman makes me sick. She seems to be using this event to fill a huge void in her life, she would be so lonely if she let go of this issue. Taking the high road is something it looks like the rapist is doing now, not her. True it is a horrible thing to have happen, but women that go on national TV and act like this actually empower other men to rape, they see how it can be a strong form of control. She should have realized it was just a physical act and that she has the power to move on, rather she used the rape event as an excuse for anything and everything. I actually have more sympathey for the rapist.

Is an apology enough?

Cathy, — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:00:32 GMT

Liz strikes me as a bitter, vindictive woman. Even her facial expressions indicate that she has spent 20+ years feeling sorry for herself. She appears to need psychiatric care.

Is an apology enough?

Tom Waters — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:00:49 GMT

Neocon Bushie with a mix of Hillary Clinton whoa-is-me type hate. Even if all of UVA and every guy there fell into a fiery pit she wouldn't be happy. She is trying to somehow cover the holes in her life.

Is an apology enough?

Heather — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:02:05 GMT

My name is Heather. I am watching your segment on Dateline. I also went to a private girls school for 6 years. i went far away from my family to be independant for college. I was raped and very nearly murdered when someone broke into my condo on sept 1 1992. Even though I went to the hospital and had all of the tests immediately, and am 99.9% sure whom it was (I will never forget his voice and what he said to me) he was never caught. I was very young ( baely 20). But I didn't deserve the horrors that happened to me. I was asleep when he broke in my place. He raped me and had my hands trapped. Where he could hold me and I could get no oxygyn. All I kept thinking while listeneing to his threats was that I'm not going to live. I couldn't get any breath at all. And I'm listeneing to him say horrible things all the while. I didn't even thimk about being raped for a few because I was trying so hard just to get a breath. Just ONE breath. I woke up later naked and bruised and ran downstairs to my neighbor. The cops were called at 5am on Sept 1st 1992. I have never been the same. He got away. There was no DNA taken then and I heard the voice. I will never be he same. I remember driving down the highway a few years after and having to pull over because all I could think and realize was that it wasn't bad enough that he wanted to kill me, but that on top of it all , I had to be raped. The universe didn't think that it was bad enough that I get smothered to death but to add insult to injury, I had to be raped in my last moments. It wasn't bad enough that I be brutally murdered but that I be brutally raped at th same time. As if he thought what can I do to make her last moments as I murdewr her even worse. I was in therapy for 6 yrs. I have since I feel lost my life to him. He didn't kill me physically but he killed any since of hope in life and myself I ever had. I don't believe in anything anymore. I have struggled with everything since and it has been 14 1/2 yrs. It seems like a lifetime ago at times. But the effects are never going away and I still don't know if my life will end in some way because I can't handle what he did to me and the fact that he is still walking around free. If I could instill in him the horrors he has instilled in me in the past subsequent years it still wouldn't be justice for what he left to me. I feel he killed me but it long and drawn out. I have a fantasy of knowing what happened to him one day. I want him to have been caught and to have suffered. He took my youth, innocence and future success. I just hope one of them goes through something of the same hell for the rest of their lives as myself. When I went into unconciousness he thought that he had killed me. He didn't kill me physically that night but he killed the me who would have been here without his meddling.

Is an apology enough?

S Lewis — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:02:50 GMT

I don't believe that Liz has really forgiven this man like she states but I admire her tenacity to make him pay for what he did to her. A 17 year old is a child and he took that away from her. For the people who judge her for how she responded maybe you should have a little sympathy for the fact that she was violated twice by this man. He has no right to disrupt her life unless it is to face the consequences. Shame on you. If she were my daughter, mother, sister I would want her to do this.

Is an apology enough?

Brenda Holfert Austin, Tx — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:04:04 GMT

I actually got sick listening to the "unforgiving" Liz!
She did not choose rape (or was it rape?) she did choose to DRINK and go on a TOUR with 2 young men! She also chose to drag her parents thru National T.V. Not a loving person! I am wondering how much MONEY she was given for her story and how much she still wants to get!
She has a daughter...I hope she teaches her NOT TO DRINK AND GO TO SOROITY HOUSES! We all make choices, she may have only been 17, but she made bad choices.
Edie Magnus appears to be a lovely person, I know God
has forgiven him, now it's Liz's turn! Go to Church on Sunday!

Is an apology enough?

Brenda Holfert Austin, Tx — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:04:07 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Rosalie Pistone, Toms River, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:04:08 GMT

Liz and all rape victims deserve justice and that is
why there is no statute of limitations on felonies such as rape.

Is an apology enough?

Tina Saiani, Macon, GA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:04:49 GMT

Hell yes she shoud press charges. "I'm sorry" after all those years doesn't go NEARLY far enough. By allowing him to go free, we would have perpetuated the boys-will-be-boys mentality that has kept women from coming forward for years.

Liz was very brave in coming forward and making this guy take responsibility for his actions. It sickens me that many of Liz's critics are women. Wait until it's you -- or your daughter.

Is an apology enough?

Ray Simms, Washington, DC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:05:21 GMT

So far, these comments have been hateful. Why shouldn't a person pay for their crime of rape? What if they appoligized the very next day after the rape occured would that be sufficient? How does time lessen what they have done, or lessen the results of their actions?

Is an apology enough?

David Pursey — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:05:57 GMT

She did the right thing! An apology and forgiveness is one thing, but a crime WAS committed and Mr. Bebee must pay for his crime.

Is an apology enough?

Leigh W. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:06:23 GMT

Liz needs (needed) to move on. There are alot of other things to focus on in life - you can't let a tragedy (or even a mountaintop experience) define you or your life. There are people who have been through much worse and manage to pull through it - especially 21 years later. Try religion!! I think she is seeking attention now. Time to forgive, move on. Focus on your husband and children now . . .

Is an apology enough?

Melanie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:06:40 GMT

I think what she did is justifiable. She has every right to prosicute. I feel her pain. It doesn't go away. He deserves everything he gets. You go GIRL!

Is an apology enough?

Evelyn Nicole Brown — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:06:48 GMT

Having been raped at approximatley the same age as Liz, her story screamed out at me and I fully support her decision to prosecute. Something was taken from her at the age of 17. The same thing occured to me at that very age. It was mentioned that her first marriage was volatile. Her grades slumped in college. Listening to this made me realize just how much my being raped at that age affected me. Like Liz, I was very much afraid of my attacker and I was afraid to prosecute. Blaming the victim will persist and women's psyche's will forever be scarred if persons who rape are not help accountable. I admire her strength.

Is an apology enough?

Barb B. Lebanon, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:06:57 GMT

I am disgusted with the comments made by some of the other viewers. If you were raped, you would realize that this crime NEVER goes away for the VICTIM!!! Why....when a woman finally stands up for herself, that now she is trying to be in the limelight. If this happened to your daughter, niece, grandchild, wife etc... wouldn't you want them to get the closure they deserve. Just because it didn't happen yesterday, why wouldn't he have to stand up for his crime? You people make me sad!! I hope you are never a victim and have to live with the thought of a stanger putting his hands and lips and other parts of his body on your body. She has probably dealt with this for the last 20 years. Give her some credit to move on with her life.

Is an apology enough?

ElizaG — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:07:23 GMT

Unfortunately Liz comes off as a bitter woman who was apparently so damaged by this experience that she has lost perspective, joy and the ability to forgive. I don't doubt that she has made this rape a focal point of her life. The question is why?

Is an apology enough?

Dave Piscitelli — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:07:51 GMT

Anyone who thinks that they know what they would do in the Liz Sucurro case is absolutely wrong. Most of the people writing in blasting her, probably were never the victim of a crime such as this. Liz had to do what she had to do in order to make herself whole again. She didn't ask for this (the letter, etc.) but she availed herself of an opportunity that she felt was right for her. Why is it that the rapist here, becomes the victim? Can someone explain that to me? Liz was right in what she did because she felt it was the thing to do for herself and her well-being. I'm sure she doesn't feel totally vindicated, but a little vindication is better then none for her own peace of mind. No one knows what she's been through all these years. She did what she had to do. I hope that she finds peace someday.

Is an apology enough?

Robert Petrosky Spring Hill, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:05 GMT

Liz uses the defense for you actions the fact that she did not ask to be raped or receive the E-mails.
She's wrong in one respect, she elected to be where she was and doing the things that put her in the situation for the other actions to follow.

Is an apology enough?

Ale Garcia, Brandon, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:06 GMT

i feel like this woman should have come out years ago.
i don't understand why she would hide it for so long.
she should have told her parents and made formal statements to lawyers and the law.

i feel sorry for her.
but it seems quite unreasonable she hadn't come out for so long.

i don't think she's lying or doing it for the publicity.
i just think she should have come out a while back.
not now.

the statute of limitation and email proof is the only thing that is helping her case.

Is an apology enough?

Ale Garcia, Brandon, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:08 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Pattie M. Savannah GA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:09 GMT

I sincerely hope that all involved in the rape are brought to justice. I admire her strength to go forward. Everyone says she should move on. She had moved on. Why dont you all ask "WHY DIDNT HE MOVE ON'...he emails her after all those years...HELLO ! i wonder how all the above commenters would feel if the rape had been committed on them??? There are 'cold files' on every crime committed, what makes a rape so different...Is this not the ABSOLUTE crime? GO GIRL...You deserve justice

Is an apology enough?

Sherm, Bloomfield, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:23 GMT

In a way I do agree with her decision, however, her motivation is questionable. I do not believe her when she says she forgives her rapist, nor do I believe she will accept closure when all the legal wrangling is over. Hopefully, all involved will get the help they need.

Is an apology enough?

Julie, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:36 GMT

Wow, it bothers me that the last five comments about this Dateline episode all ridicule and insult a woman who was raped. Yes, rape does happen all to often, but this is America. America supposed to be a place where justice can be granted. I feel like I am back in middle school the way these people judged this woman based upon how she appeared on TV. She was still raped. She still deserves some sort of justice. Can you people not see that?

Is an apology enough?

Merna Vineland Nj — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:08:45 GMT

I totally agree with Shawn from Chicago, although I feel sorry for her if it actually did happen the way she said it did, but, I feel she was a good girl gone bad that night, and needed an excuse for her actions so Mom and Dad would still believe in her. She seems like quite an actress to me.

Is an apology enough?

Vickie, Orange Park, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:07 GMT

I am shocked and appalled by the reactions I am reading in the Liz rape case. I too was raped in college but was so scared that I did nothing about it. I wonder what happened to this man. Did he go on to rape other women? Do he commit worse crimes? Is he still committing them? If I had come forward way back then could I have saved another girl from getting raped? I too was a virgin. I think all these unfeeling people would feel MUCH differently if THEY were the ones who had been raped. GO LIZ!!!!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

dale chatman — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:16 GMT

heather, no one can undo the harm done, and if you get a chance to have this man charged do so
BUT you have been carrying this man around with you all this time..the only way to flush him away is too forgive..this may be the most difficult thing that you have ever done but it is the only way that you can reclaim your life

Is an apology enough?

Leslie, Dallas, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:19 GMT

As a victim of rape, the comments above about Liz make me sick. I was raped at 15 the result of which I became pregnant and gave up a child for adoption. My life has NEVER been right. No amount of therapy can ever erase what happened to me. I wish I could charge my attackers - yes, plural.

Is an apology enough?

Cathy Garloch Wilson , NC 27896 — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:20 GMT

I think that she is not going to get closure from all th attention this will bring her and her family. I di beleive that some times in life bad things happen to innocent , good people but in order to move forward you must make peace with your past apology or not. If we continue to look back will can not look in the futher . Our joy comes from within peace comes from the heavenly Father , maybe she should try looking to him for what she is seeking not the lights of a camera. God will have the final

Is an apology enough?

Catherine Cummings — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:26 GMT

It's called accountability! Why do we still minimize crimes against women in this country? Are we just one step ahead of the societies where girl children are drowned at birth? What amazes me even more, is that so many women will actually side with the male rapist. So why do so many people want to victimize Liz a second time by shaming her for standing up for herself? Liz's true self was MURDERED by an internal trespass against her soul. Would an apology be enough for murder? For a beating? Liz needs closure. Liz had her self stolen. She had her power stolen. She was violated in the most hideous way. Be careful how you judge Liz...it could have happened to you!

Kate
Kerrville, TX

Is an apology enough?

Danielle Houston, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:33 GMT

It makes me sick reading some of the responses of viewers. I would love to know if any have themselves suffered from a violent attack, not rape but any type of attack. Being a rape survivor, my story very much like hers, I know how much the attack haunts you, takes control of your life and effects every aspect of everything you do. If I ever had the opportunity to bring my attackers to justice, I would do so with out a moment of hesitation. It terrifies me to think of them walking around the streets, having wives and children of their own, and possibly harming others.

Is an apology enough?

Sheila, Orlando, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:35 GMT

My name is Sheila and I'm a rape victim. I found out 20 years later that the man who raped me was a serial rapist who raped several other girls. He contracted aids just after raping me and infected his victims. I'm mortified to read that people out there think that this woman is just asking for attention or that she has the choice of letting this ruin her life or moving on. I was raped 22 years ago and I still live in fear every day. I carry a knife with me always and plan to get a gun next month. This never leaves you and like Liz said it becomes apart of who you are. If you've never been a victim don't pass judgement on those who have.

Is an apology enough?

Susan Russell, Newport News, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:09:47 GMT

Where is the one location in Virginia where a man will NOT be punished for committing rape? In Charlottesville - at the University of Virginia! Twenty years after Liz's assault, the University of Virginia President, John Casteen, releases a statement to the Press to assure the public that he “will not tolerate acts of violence” on his campus. People are satisfied with his comments - but the intent was to snooker the media by releasing a false and misleading statement. How? The average person considers rape to be an "act of violence". Therefore, when they read Casteen's press release they believe that rape is not tolerated at UVA. However, since the University Staff views rape as a "thoughtless college sexual encounter", and not as an "act of violence" casteen & Company have, once again, snookered the media to avoid negative publicity. The University cannot provide statistics to support Casteen's remark. At a campus meeting held on 25 March 2004, the University publicly acknowledged (and was quoted in the Cavalier Daily) that no one found guilty of sexual assault during the previous five years had been suspended or expelled from the University. In contrast, 38 students were expelled for "honor" offenses such as cheating or stealing in 2003. As of late-2006, this statement continues to be accurate. It is an unacceptable fact to learn that as the crime statistics for the number of reported rape and sexual assault cases continues to increase, not one person has been expelled from the University for committing acts of sexual assault at any time during the past seven years - even when found guilty by a Sexual Assault Board. For more facts, visit www.uvavictimsofrape.com

Is an apology enough?

Julie, Dunedin, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:06 GMT

Are you kidding me? Who is anyone to judge this woman if they haven't been through what she has been through? Whatever "mix" you may think she is, if she is trying to fill a void, if this woman makes you "sick" or if "she is trying to accomplish" something through her interviews, she was raped. No one can understand what this may feel like, unless they've been through it. And what does any of the aforementioned have to do with this woman being raped. Obviously if this man has come forward and confessed this brutal crime, it must be a crime that was pretty horrible for him to live with everyday. Imagine what she has to live through everyday????

Is an apology enough?

Catherine Elizabeth, Marietta, Georgia — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:12 GMT

I feel so sorry for this woman, this woman who is so unable to forgive and move on. She is now an adult. She is no longer a child. With the pasage of years, comes maturity. I pity the world she will create for her daughter to grow up in. I hope she can find the counseling she needs.

Is an apology enough?

Vallery Knight, Bloomington, IL. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:18 GMT

I applaud Liz for doing what she did. The others that have posts on this site may not have ever had a similar experience. They may have no idea how it can effect your life for ever. Not by the victims choice but by the nature of the act. No women ever wants to be a victim of such an act, and they don't necessarily wear it on their sleve but it will come back to you from time to time solicited or not. Our psyche's are fragile things and can plague us witj unwanted memories at any time. Once raped you never forget it and you never resolve the matter completely no matter what most people say.The most offensive part of being a victim of rape is that the victim is often accused of "leading him on" this is never a reason for any man/women to commit such a horrible injustice to another human. Do we accuse a child who has been sexualy assaulted? We do not. So why do we not believe an adult or adolescent who makes the same alogation?

Is an apology enough?

Joanne Ackerman - Hammond, IN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:21 GMT

I think she should have left well enough alone. The man today is not the youth he had been 20 some years before. He had been suffering all along for the rape. He could not turn back the hands of time and change it. A lot of horrible things happen to people. We have to take measures to get over it ourselves. The bell cannot be unrung. The man did not have to apologize to her. He did. Even though she has suffered all these years for what he did, he had suffered too. She faced him. He admitted it, and he apologized. She wanted to destroy him. Bottom line, I think she was wrong.

Is an apology enough?

Joy Birmingham, al — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:26 GMT

I think this man should get life in prision..This was a horrible crime and the college didn;t even care enough about her... Keep him in prison for long long time.I can;t believe anyone would think she is doing this to write a book. If she does.... its her life and he caused all of this pain for her...I am in her corner... God Bless her and her family

Is an apology enough?

Pat Williams, Midland, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:31 GMT

I had a similar incident happen when I was 14. I just tried to put it behind me but 40 years later I saw a movie that for some reason reminded me of it and I cried uncontrollably for hours, as though it had just happened. It has now been 50+ years and I am still trying to find the man online because I want to confront him. Unless you have faced a situation like this, you just don't know how deeply it affects you. Forgive him? You've got to be kidding! Men who do that don't deserve forgiveness. For the people who say it's just a physical act; get on with your life - I say, I did get on with my life but it still eats at me and always will. I was a helpless 90-pound little girl and he was a 220# 19-year-old football player. Forgive - no way!

Is an apology enough?

Delores , North Carolina — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:38 GMT

Unforntunately for Liz, women who are raped or sexually abused tend to carry a heavy package until the emotions are placed in their safe vault. I understand as a sexually abused woman that you want revenge but revenge is not the answer. Her abuser came forward. He ask forgiveness and is remorseful. He carries his own load with guiltand shame. I feel Liz will not gain any relief from prosecuting this guy. Her relief will come when she places this pain in its' appropriate place.

Is an apology enough?

Margaret Eustace, Brick, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:10:55 GMT

I admire Liz's courage and determination. She was a child at 17. How dare these men continue to this day raping these children 'just for fun' at frats all over America. Thank you Liz for coming forward, and please continue the fight for your own daughter. If this had happened to my daughter at 17 yrs. old, I'd have gone to jail for his murder.

Is an apology enough?

Jeannette F. Monroe, Michigan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:10 GMT

The people that have attacked liz could not have possibly have lived through a rape. I was raped in 1966 and still have the same feelings she has. I had a very similar childhood and was violently attacked at the age of 17. After all these years hearing her story set off the same emotions and made me cry. I too believe the rape ruined my life. I became an alcoholic. I know about the step 9 and the book we try to live by says that we are even willing to go to jail to make restition. He just is not willing to take the full responsibility for his actions. It does not matter how long ago it was. He stole her life.

Is an apology enough?

mary, boston, ma — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:18 GMT

I am sickened by the above responses. This woman was raped by a criminal who essentially got away scot free and now she's being victimized by this blog. Shame on you. I admire her strength, tenacity and willingness to be dragged through the mud yet again. The rapist killed who she was and he should be in jail for murder -- alcoholic or not.

Is an apology enough?

Li Chen — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:26 GMT

I am a 45 year old female, from a small southern town, and went to college in the early 80's like Liz. Did anyone bother to ask her "WHY IN HELL WOULD YOU GO UPSTAIRS INTO A BOYS ROOM IN THE FIRST PLACE?? I don't buy the "she went on a house tour answer." This woman had too much to drink, found herself in an "unladylike" situation, and cried victum...plain and simple. I agree with the bloggers above...she wants to be in pictures!

Is an apology enough?

Donna Overmyer, Allegan, MI — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:26 GMT

I applaud Liz's decision to persue her attacker. It appears to be a good decision for her attacker also. Perhaps both of them will find their life better for the decision she made. I also think she is doing a very good thing to help other young women who have been raped. Hooray for Liz!!

Is an apology enough?

Christina Mun, Flushing, NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:42 GMT

I really hope Ms. Liz Seccuro gets justice and that the rapist gets his punishment. Like she said, not everyone gets a second chance, but she did, and she should seek that opportunity to break the silence that haunted her and many other women who encountered similar nightmares. *Not only should Ms. Seccuro get justice from her alleged rapist, but for the mysterious drugged drink she was given. --

Is an apology enough?

Bobbye Bernard, Knoxville, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:03 GMT

I don't think this is the same as being raped by a stranger in your own home. This woman made a choice to go to a frat party (while admitting to knowing what they are like)she admits to underage drinking and then, quite unlike any responsible, intelligent 17 year old I know, agrees to go on a "tour" of the fraternity bedrooms. Admittedly, she was sorry the next day, but note that she was not sorry enough to go to the police herself. The guy was most likely drunk as a skunk and acted like his hormones ruled his senses, but at least he had the guts to admit his faults 22 years later. It's time she woke up to her mistakes and did the same. Get over what happened, forget about surfing and see a therapist and for heaven's sake, teach your daughter not to drink and tour the fraternity bedrooms in the middle of the night with strange men.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Atlanta, Georgie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:03 GMT

As a woman, I sympathize with Liz. Her rape, and the lack of justice that followed back in 1984 are a shame. However, bad things happen to everyone. If you allow an experience such as this to affect your everyday life for 23 years, that's YOUR PROBLEM. She should see the apology as closure, and be grateful. The way she sought to entrap her attacker through his apology, as well as her bitterness are disgusting. Through this experience, she has learned nothing.

Is an apology enough?

Kris, Corpus Christi, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:09 GMT

Even though I did not experience rape, I am an adult survivor of incest. Anyone who has NOT experienced being sexually assaulted can not begin to understand the changes it immediately causes for the victim, sometimes for a lifetime. Forgiveness does not make the anxiety, fear and mistrust of others go away. If the man who did this had murdered someone, everyone would agree that he needed to "do the time for his crime". Why would it be different for his crime of rape? Shame on those of you who haven't walked in Liz shoes, but stand in judgement of her wanting him prosecuted now. Go Liz!

Is an apology enough?

Mack Brown — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:12 GMT

Liz is not an innocent victim. She needs to accept responsibility for her own actions, drinking at a Fraternity party to begin with, then not having the common sense to file an actual Police Report following the alleged event in 1984. I have no sympathy for her and believe she needs to stop blaming everyone else for obvious psychological problems.

Is an apology enough?

Krys Evans — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:18 GMT

It's striking that people are telling Liz to just get over her rape--that she needs to forgive and that she is just bitter. Forgiveness does not mean we let people get away with crimes. Forgiveness is a matter for the heart. Juctice is a matter for the courts. These are two different things. I applaude her courage to face and relive this crime in the courts and in front of the media. Her willingness to talk to magazines and TV shows helps all victims of rape and sexual abuse to know that there can be juctice.

Is an apology enough?

anonymous — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:31 GMT

My heart aches for her but my main concern is for her daughter. It's unfortunate that she thinks surfing is better for a rape victim then therapy. She appears to be completely emotionally detached from life, her family, and her attacker. That's where the real tragedy lies. No matter how long this guy serves she will not ever experience the "joy" she says she hasn't felt since the day before her attack with out help.

Is an apology enough?

Lorrie ,Duluth, MN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:59 GMT

I am pleased to see I am not the only one who thinks Liz is going for the limelight and doing a terrible job at acting. I also was raped many, many years ago and part of the healing process is to forgive. Your not expected to forget but why bring everything up again? There will only be one time that he will be judged for his actions and that day will come someday. Is she being paid for the interview on Dateline and any other shows or articles that she is doing? She just seems very fake to me. I do give him credit for asking for forgiveness and making amends as I am also a recovering alcoholic.

Is an apology enough?

ann langa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:12:59 GMT

Thats powerful Heather, but you are not giving victims of rape much hope are you? You did not die, God gave you life, now give yourself life. Forgive the animal, move on, be higher. God takes vengenence so we dont have to. You need to let go, only you can let go. Think of what the young women in Africa go through, they endure much worse, yet always inspire with their faith and hope.

Is an apology enough?

Lea H. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:15 GMT

Dear S Lewis,
Have had the same thing happen. Forgiveness will forever be the only answer - it is what truly sets you free. Liz wants nothing more than for people to feel sorry for her and make excuses for not living her life. Her choice was either to forgive or not to forgive...her choice, not to forgive, is what has ruined her live...not the rapist.

Is an apology enough?

Angus O'Brien Mims, FL. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:23 GMT

Liz you would not believe how good forgiveness feels.

Is an apology enough?

Winter Haven, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:26 GMT

Liz needs to get over this event and most importantly herself. She tortured herself for 21 years over this? Please! This man has a right to feel sorry and bad for what he did. Though I think she's causing herself more harm than he ever did.

Is an apology enough?

eloise; doesn't matter, ABC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:46 GMT

I envy Liz for getting the opportunity to face her rapist. I was raped in '73 by a "date" who laced a joint with heroin. My body was paralyzed but my mind was fully cognizant of what was happening to me. After it was over, he drove me back to my car and literally carried me to my car and left me there. Like Liz, I felt totally humiated, at fault. I pretended to forget about it and let life go on. I married the wrong man because I too was afraid I was damaged goods. I married in '76 and didn't tell anyone about the rape until '88. My marriage was doomed from the start. It ended in '00. I don't know, or have blocked out, the name of the rapist and he will NEVER be brought to justice. Every time I had sex I had to be drunk so I could self medicate. I avoided having pelvic exams as I had flashbacks. I finally quit drinking last year. Although I've been able to enjoy sex for the first time in 30 years, I still don't trust any man enough to let myself go and actually have an orgasim.
Liz, I wish you the best!!!

Is an apology enough?

Julie, Dunedin, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:58 GMT

You know, everyone is quick to ask her, why can't she forgive and move on and feel bad for her rapist because he came clean 20 years later? Well, are we supposed to feel bad for him if he raped another and ended up killing her in the process? Should we forgive and feel bad for murderers too?

Is an apology enough?

Jean N., Ney, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:13:58 GMT

I believe she was raped,and she should've continued to hang in there and not allow a plea bargain. I don't believe in ANY kind of plea bargaining, for ANY crime. You are either guilty or you aren't.

Co-ed College parties should be outlawed.

Is an apology enough?

Linda, platte city, mo — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:14:10 GMT

I absolutely think she did the right thing. I say to all of you who say she is just looking for attention, has never been through anything like this in your life or you wouldn't be so cavalier and hateful towards her. Try being raped yourself and see how you'd respond.

Is an apology enough?

Bridget, NYC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:11 GMT

I survived a rape and shooting four years ago. The criminal was sentenced to life in a Texas prison ten weeks to the day after my attack. You don't get over rape. As Liz put it, it becomes a part of you. I am so impressed with Liz's strength and happy that she sought justice, even though she had to wait over twenty years.

Is an apology enough?

Mark H. Milwaukee, WI — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:29 GMT

First off it's very unfortunate it ever happened in the first place. I give Mr Beebe credit for coming forth but it doesn't erase the fact of what he did or the knowledge he has of the rape that night(or other rapist). Unfortunately, this may open another can of worms for her. I don't know if she will ever have closer. I disagree with some of the comments stating she is doing this for the limelight but, rather proving to everyone she was in fact not making it up and clearing her name.

Is an apology enough?

Nicole, AR — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:31 GMT

I feel that this is a bad decision on Liz's part. Making this such a public matter will only drag her and her family through the mud. I agree with others that she is doing this for publicity. I was also raped and I was NOT drinking or in a house full of boys/men at the time. If this man felt the need to contact her for her suffering then HE has felt anguish as well. She is trying to save the "17 year old her" because she apparently hasn't grown to be a forgiving and understanding adult. I would be forever thankful if my rapist was to contact me just to acknowledge his mistake! I feel sorry for both parties and I feel that a story such as this is the reason people fail to come forth and apologize for the past.

Is an apology enough?

ELIZABETH BOUFFARD.PLYMOUTH MI — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:32 GMT

I WAS IN 84 IN FLA AND WAS ALSO DEAD BUT I LIVED. AND YEA I WAS ABLE TO PUT IM WAY FOR LIFE........ BUT IF I DIDNT DO THAT AND WAS TOO SCARED HE BE STILL ON THE STREET DOING IT TO SOME ONE ELSE CAUSE YOU SEE I WAS HIS SECOND VICTIM SEE HIS FIRST RAPE DIDNT WANT TO GO TO TRIAL. YEA YOU GO GIRL I GIVE YOU A LOT OF SUPPORT...... YOU GET THAT MOTHER F GUY. AND YOU PUT HIM AWAY HE HAD NO RIGHT NO RIGHT. THIS OUR BODY NOT THEIR. MY ELIZABETH BOUFFARD AND I LIVE AND MY RAPIST IS IN JAIL. IM A POWERFUL HELL WOMAN.

Is an apology enough?

Cheryl Langille Pompano Beach, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:41 GMT

I am a recovering alcoholic and I feel bad for him, he his trying to do the next right thing, I think she should let it go and move on with her life. I think she has a lot of issues...

Is an apology enough?

eloise — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:42 GMT

Mack, only a man could feel the way you do. Rape is never ok.

Is an apology enough?

Annette Lore, Greensboro, NC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:15:59 GMT

I think this man finally got what he deserved. I think that too many men go free when committing this crime and the women's lives are changed forever - I do think that Liz has forgiven this man and moved on with her life, but she is correct that he should have to pay for his crime. If more rapists were prosecuted many there would be less rapes! Then maybe our college campuses would be a little safer for our daughters.

Is an apology enough?

Paula Newkirk, Atlanta, GA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:16:02 GMT

I feel it is highly insensitive to attack this woman's motives for seeking justice through the court system after 20 years. Good for you Liz. If man takes no action, he becomes a part of the problem. To forgive does not mean one forgets. I can forgive the drunk that rear-ended my car, but I will never forget that he did. Liz lives with those memories...we don't.

Is an apology enough?

Kathy Shoemaker — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:16:45 GMT

I just read some of the messages that were left and I don't understand how people could sit there and judge this women so harshly. If you have never been raped before or violated like she had been, then people shouldn't judge.
When you commit a crime, you should pay the consequences for that crime. That's the law of the land. Just because someone says they are sorry, doesn't mean they should be able go get away with breaking the law and violating someone.
I dont't feel as though Liz should have to forgive this man at all. She had to live with this for the past 21 year and she should have the chance to accuse him of the crime he commited and he should pay for that crime. I find Liz very courageous and a very strong woman. Justice for all is what the United States of America stands for!!!

Is an apology enough?

Diyana Delano, Columbus, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:16:47 GMT

I am a little upset by the comments posted thus far. I think that until you can judge anyone you must walk in that person's shoes. I have been there. I was brutally raped, strangled and left for dead in my college apartment eleven years ago. It does not run my life, but it has changed me. I have had a successful career, beautiful family and a wonderful life in the years since, but that one hour changed me forever. I can never go back to being the person I was before. At the time I was well aware of the scrutiny and anger I would endure if I chose to pursue justice in court. I had watched the humiliation and accusations thrown at others who had been through the same thing that I had experienced. But I knew if I had the strength to see this through, I could help give others courage. While my attack was not splashed across the national news it made the front page of the paper in my college town on a regular basiss. It is humiliating and makes you feel violated all over again. I applaud Liz's decision. I feel it sends a message to men who push the limits that their actions may have severe consequences. To those who have not been there it may seem just a "physical act." To those who have, it is a emotionally damaging event that changes you forever. Finger pointing and ridicule only encourage victims to remain silent and allow the offenders to go on to assault others. So to Liz, I extend my respect and support.

Is an apology enough?

blynnw, Baltimore, MD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:16:51 GMT

I think she is a whiner that needs to get a life-she is enjoying this publicity way too much. As a former rape victim, (at least from my experience over 24 years ago) yes, it was a terrible experience, but you have to...and it is possible..to come to grips and get over it!! Live your life for yourself, and do not make yourself a victim.

Is an apology enough?

T ELARDO — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:17:20 GMT

i just want to know how anyone can justify wanting to see some one suffer for something they had no control over... does a child who has cancer have conrol over THAT. DOES ABUSED CHILD HVE CONTROL OVER THAT. I THINK THE ANSWER IS NO. ALSO, THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FORGIVE...... IS GOD...

Is an apology enough?

Lisa Bailey 102 Sims Ave. Louisa, Va. 23093 — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:17:39 GMT

I am outraged at the response of some of the people responding to this story. I live almost in Charlottesville, virginia. I lived and worked there for over 10 years. UVA has a long history of defending their students and brushing things under the carpet. The "honor code" that the students there sign is exactly as this victim reports. It is a monkey court. It is truly a jury of the peers. If you are not someone "who is someone" often you get the shaft. Chief Longo should be applauded. He is relatively new in the area and has a very active approach to seeing that justice is at least attemped.
If the information so easily obtained after 20 years was there, why wasn't it gathered in 1984?????? Where was the UVA and their Chief Mike Sheffield then??????
The problem is not only on the campus. It also exists in the hospital as well. There are still things being swept under the rug.

My 21 yr old daughter is continuing to deal with being molested at a very young age. If someone had been truthful years ago, she would have been spared.

Our democracy was founded to strive to be equal to all people. Alot of time and effort has been put to equality in many forms. Yet, women and children are not equal. They are expected to be silent. That is ridiculous.

This victim deserves to be applauded. My thoughts and prayers are with her and kudos go for her strong spirit. I have seen people who are still going through your kind of hell and it isn't fun for them. Thank you for standing up for those in that position.

TO UVA.....SHAME ON YOU. SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

Supportive Mother, Boston, MA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:17:45 GMT

With a story similar to Liz's, our daughter was also raped, and knew her assailant three years ago. She sought help by filing a police report, going to a rape crisis center, and getting psychological help for what was determined to be Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The stress nearly broke her. She almost dropped out of college, she had to be medicated. And she tried to move on, but felt she owed society, women in particular, the responsibility to press charges, so that he would not do this again to someone else. We did the proper things to bring him to justice. However, the case took a few years to move forward. In the mean-time, he e-mailed her a letter of apology, but even this did not sway the grand jury to indict him. One of the juror's made a statement that "this is something his son would have done". I'm thinking, what? If your son raped a young woman, and later apologized, does that make it OK? What is wrong with society today???

Is an apology enough?

Sara G., Baltimore, Md — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:17:54 GMT

I am honestly shocked by the comments suggesting that Liz should just "get over it." Only someone who has never experienced, or loved someone who's experienced sexual assault could make a statement like this.

As a vicit of rape, I want you all to know that no matter how much time has passed since the attack, rape will haunt you and hurt you for life. Unless you have experienced sexual assault, you have no right to tell someone who has how they should feel!

Victims of rape deserve justice, and rapists deserve punishment. This man committed a violent crime. He sent her a written confession. She has every right to press charges against him. She is not seeking attention. She is seeking justice!

Is an apology enough?

ELIZABETH BOUFFARD.PLYMOUTH MI — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:17:58 GMT

I WAS RAPE IN 84 IN FLA AND WAS ALSO DEAD BUT I LIVED. AND YEA I WAS ABLE TO PUT HIM WAY FOR LIFE........ BUT IF I DIDNT DO THAT AND WAS TOO SCARED HE BE STILL ON THE STREET DOING IT TO SOME ONE ELSE CAUSE YOU SEE I WAS HIS SECOND VICTIM SEE HIS FIRST RAPE DIDNT WANT TO GO TO TRIAL. YEA YOU GO GIRL I GIVE YOU A LOT OF SUPPORT...... YOU GET THAT MOTHER F GUY. AND YOU PUT HIM AWAY HE HAD NO RIGHT NO RIGHT. THIS OUR BODY NOT THEIR. MY ELIZABETH BOUFFARD AND I LIVE AND MY RAPIST IS IN JAIL. IM A POWERFUL HELL WOMAN.

Is an apology enough?

Karen, Sheboygan, Wi. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:18:00 GMT

What is this childlike woman trying to accomplish? It seems that she loves to be in the lime light even if it affects her parents. It's too bad she chose to go to a Fraternity House, drink and take off with two men. They were all young, most of us like to forget the bad things that happen to us, but she seems to like to dwell on this. How Sick! Her husband needs to step in and stop her and get her some visuable Psychiatric help. How assahmed her daughter will be to hear of this when she grows up, and the teasing and undeserved judgement she will get. What kind of a mom is she! How do we really know that she was raped? Edie was drinking too, maybe he doesn't remember exactly what happend. God Bless him for his honesty. God help this woman forgive and finally forget! If she can't forgive, God will not forgive her either. The poor choices we make when we are young, but they are OUR choices!

Is an apology enough?

Dylan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:18:03 GMT

I just watched the case on Date line just now and i completely agree with Liz's decisions. Once you commit a crime, as rape is for this matter a simple apology isn't enough. He has to face the charges and he has to pay for what he's done, Because what does this tell others who commit crimes? That it's wrong to do it but as long as you admit to it that you're free of all which you've done? I'm sorry but this man raped her and he can apologize all he wants but he should know that by apologizing that he isn't free from what he did. She isn't at fault one bit for doing every thing that she chose to do because of what this man did she had to deal with this for 20 years.

Is an apology enough?

shirley barnes — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:18:33 GMT

What is wrong with this woman? The man was young and stupid and like a lot of young men, they do stupid things. It sounded like it bothered him enough to write her and wanted her forgiveness. She could have done that and left it at that. The bible does say " those without sin, cast the first stone". My daughter was killed by a boyfriend and I knew that I had to forgive him and let God handle it. Otherwise, I would have went years with bitterness in my heart, and it would only have hurt myself. By the way, I was raped also when I was young, but I did not let it rule my like.

Is an apology enough?

Brenda Munson, Monroe, IA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:18:41 GMT

I am flabbergasted!! How on earth can ANY of you write about Liz the way you did -- "made-for-tv-movie," "Liz needs to get a life," "Neocon Bushie with a mix of Hillary Clinton whoa-is-me type hate." First of all, Dateline makes Liz "pose" "that way" so their show will produce either sympathy or revulsion. The ignorance of ALL the above posters makes me want to vomit! Just who the hell do you think you are??? That man RAPED a woman and was NEVER made to PAY for his FELONY CRIME!!!!! What a tremendous joke for one poster to claim Liz wanted publicity, fame, or attention -- do any of you actually know what vultures the media is??? THEY found her story and produced this "made-for-tv" program. So, what - is Liz just supposed to bow her head and say, "Gee, I'm so sorry, Mr. Beebe, that your rape of me caused you to spiral down even further in your life than you had already plummeted. Please forgive me for being your rape victim." You people make me sick! You either are penis-wielding fascists or full-of-themselves women who have expressed absolutely NO COMPASSION for a scared 17-year old who was RAPED (i.e., AGAINST HER WILL) and sought to report this FELONY CRIME to the proper authorities. Shame on all of you! May you NEVER have to experience a rape, be disbelieved about the act, and then raped again by strangers who haven't the foggiest friggin clue about how that poor woman has lived her life!!!!! May God have mercy on YOUR souls!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

Joy Joseph, Flushing, New York — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:18:44 GMT

What is wrong with you people? If you have never suffered through a rape or other heinous crime, how can you judge her behavior? I thank God I've never experienced anything as horrible as what this woman went thru, and I can't imagine what goes thru her mind. How dare you accuse her of being a phony or a publicity hound! Most states have a statute of limitations for rape charges, and since most victims are too scared and vunerable to seek medical or investigative help, they suffer in silence. Even an apologetic rapist, is still a RAPIST! Good for Ms. Securro for trying to seek justice after all these years, for moving on with her life and helping others to heal. Rape cannot be "just a physical act" when the pschological ramifications are so great. Shame on you for thinking that a rapist is taking the high road because he apologized. If what he did was so regrettable, why didn't he confess 23 years ago? Why didn't he make amends soon after he joined AA? Why did he wait until years after? I hope and pray none of you expereience anything as horrible as this crime, but maybe if you did, you would far more empathetic.

Is an apology enough?

Bob Fowler Venice Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:06 GMT

One of the earlier respondents said it perfectly. Liz is intent on grabbing all the publicity she can get; she feeds on the attention. What an acting job! No wonder she wondered how she would appear on the Dateline story. I have no problem with a guilty party paying for crimes committed, but this one could have been handled without it appearing in People and on Dateline. She is a most unlikable person, and I can't imagine having to live with her.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:18 GMT

I applaud Liz for what she has done. It must have been heart-wrenching decision. As a Christian, I believe in forgiving people and being forgiven; however God does not shield us from earthly consequences of our actions. If this man truly had been repentant, after his revelation of trying to make amends with people, he would have turned himself into local authorities before Liz had to bring it to the police, herself. That's like a murderer apologizing to the family of the victim, and expecting to not go to jail for the actual murder. That is completely selfish. Rape is a crime, a felony. I think people sometimes forget that rape is a very violent, physical, brutal, bloody act. Again, we see the double-standard of blaming the victim, and that "she should just get over it." What a mess our society would be if we, the people, accept only an "I'm sorry" for acts such as these with no follow-up jail time for someone who CONFESSES to a crime? I am a college co-ed currently, and my heart breaks for those going through this on any campus, and are afraid to come forward and be treated like Liz was at UVA.

Is an apology enough?

Fabienne LeGallou — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:26 GMT

He should be punished, I was raped too, 20 years ago. We have to deal with it for the rest of our lives. While the men that raped us look at it as an other notch on their head board. Young, drunk, drugs or what ever is not an excuse, these men know what they are doing!!!

Is an apology enough?

Chris Mathew, Wellsboro, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:32 GMT

TO: BRENDDA HOLFERT of Austin, Tx..................
...........................................................Did you actually watch the program ???

Edie Magnus was the interviewer not the rapist, His name is Will Beebe.. Try downloading the show and watching it...

Is an apology enough?

Catherine Elizabeth, Marietta, GA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:38 GMT

Shame on you Dateline. What a waste of my time. I want the time I spent watching this story back! Perhaps you can interview me. I'm a victim too. I watched this ridiculous interview with a really back actress.

Is an apology enough?

Pamela L Brown Knoxville Tennessee — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:19:54 GMT

As I watched Dateline tonight I could still see the anger which envelopes Liz. I am so sorry for her that she may still carrying this anger. To Liz I say, Thank you for being so brave as to say what I would guess to be, I am mad as hell and I am not letting this go. Angry women get things done. Certainly the women who wrote above have not a clue as to the suffering of women in the past and today in other countries as well as our own back yard.
That being said, I implore Liz to do all that it takes to get past this as quickly as possible. Liz, you are not living a full life if you are living with this anger. This means that not only do you suffer but all around you suffer as well, yoour daughter, husband, family, all. Come out of your ego, and build your spirit now. See Dr. Phil, Oprah or who ever it will take to let you see that you have to get rid of this horrible anger that still keeps you driven. It is time to pass the burden on. Let it Go! Know that you did enough......

Is an apology enough?

Sherry Bryant-Wake Forest,NC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:07 GMT

I completely agree with the decision Liz made. Why should she or anyone even question if she made the right decision. She was the victim! Those who commit crimes of violence need to realize that there is a consequence for their poor choices. As for Liz, forgiveness is the beginning of the healing process, but in no way is bringing the accuser to justice a lack of forgiveness. Thank-you Liz for standing up for what was right!

Is an apology enough?

Elizabeth Roe, Charlottesville, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:12 GMT

PONDER THIS:
A man is walking down the street, slightly intoxicated, just having left a party. He is heading towards his home. He sees an old friend; they stop and make small talk. Suddenly the old friend says, “Hand me your wallet”. The man is shocked because he knows this person and is confused why he would suddenly behave in such a demanding manner. He says “No”, but the old friend is taller and heavier and appears to mean business. The old friend does not have a gun or knife, yet the man is frightened. He protests but does not fight or scream because he is so frightened. He is unable to escape the situation. The old friend takes his wallet and runs off. A crime has just been committed. The police have no problem arresting the old friend for stealing. After all, he did not have the man’s consent to take the wallet. No one questions if the crime is due to the man’s slight intoxication. No one questions if the man should have fought and screamed. No one questions if a crime has been committed.

Then, later that night,

A woman is walking down the street, slightly intoxicated, just having left the same party. She is heading towards her home. She sees an old male friend; they stop and make small talk. Suddenly the man says, “I want to have sex with you.” The woman is shocked because she knows this person and is confused why he would suddenly behave in such a demanding manner. She says “No”, but the man is taller and heavier and appears to mean business. The man does not have a gun or knife, yet the woman is frightened. She protests but does not fight or scream because she is so frightened. She is unable to escape the situation. The man sexually assaults her and runs off. A crime has just been committed. The police do nothing even though the man did not have the woman’s consent to take liberties with her body. Everyone asserts that the crime is due to the woman’s slight intoxication. Everyone questions why the woman did not fight and scream. Everyone questions if a crime has been committed. Why?
**************
We do not talk openly about rape because the very idea of a man forcing himself onto a woman is revolting. The only rapes that seem to be prosecuted are the ones where a stranger breaks into a house or a woman is found dead and raped in a field. When "acquaintance rapes" occur, people assume that the woman must have done something to cause it to happen. These people are confusing rape with sex; that false assumption is the way they ease their conscience when they choose not to hold the man accountable and responsible for his actions. No other crime is handled this way. No other crime victims are treated this way.

Is an apology enough?

Kathy Wilkins-Carmody, Northampton, MA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:43 GMT

I would love to be able to pose the question Why? to my rapist. My rapist was my brother, so I get to always have him on the outskirts of my life. I feel Liz was given an incredible opportunity and I applaud the courage and dignity she showed in confronting this man.
Liz spoke of the many emotions I too have felt and continue to feel. I know my life was forever changed one fateful night. Thank you Liz for sharing your story.
You go girl!!!! Unfortunatly I am in Massachusetss and we don't have any surfing here, otherwise I would take her up on the "surfing for survivors"!

Is an apology enough?

Kent Butler — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:43 GMT

I cannot imagine the terror, pain, and torment of a completely innocent 17-year-old girl who is raped, perhaps by more than one rampaging male. I can easily imagine her desire for justice no matter how long it takes. Being a drunk does not excuse his crime.

Is an apology enough?

J.O. Sebastian .FL. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:46 GMT

My daughter was raped during her sophomore year at UCF in Orlando Fl . Although she will not discuss this
incident or report it to the police, I have seen the change in her. She is fearful and overly concerned about her relationships with everyone, I see her as afraid to trust anyone. This is not the child I raised before this time, she has suffered an eating disorder, anxiety, and depression. I think Mrs. Seccerro is a very brave and intelligent person. It is ironic that my daughter applied to UVA for under grad. and I encouraged it - UVA is an incredible insitution but I feel that the college life is not what it was when I was younger. How dare the Beebe person ( and I use the word lightly) rationalize his barbaric actions. What has happened to our society. I am a high school teacher -the men of this generation treat women with very little respect in general. This is very disheartening, we women have to take the lead as the primary women in young boys life and teach them to respect women, be good men,husbands and fathers. Something is wrong with a society that thinks the "Victoria Secrets"(which are mearelystrip shows) ads on TV are ok and that rape is not a serious crime. Bravo Liz if more women speak out this will stop!!

Is an apology enough?

Debbie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:20:55 GMT

"I'm sorry" is not NEARLY enough to compensate Liz for what she has had to live with all these years. If you have not had a situation of this sort happen to you, then you couldn't come CLOSE to imagining the shame, disgrace and hurt that accompanies it. How many other girls did this man "need to apoligize" too? It he got away with this now, how many more could there be? I think HE is the one acting and I would be willing to bet that others will come forward with cases against him after this. Rape is rape no matter how you dice it and a 17 yr. old girl DOES NOT know how to handle that. Yes, she should have kept on back then and had him put away but circumstances at such a young age sometimes prevent a young woman to know what to do. I think anyone who thinks this abuser should walk free needs to think about the fact that this could have happened to them or their daughter. Believe me, it is HARD to come forth when you know people are looking down on YOU, the victim. It is hard to have others not believe you. This man is a violent disturbed human being and I don't care how much alchohol he had consumed, he knew what he did or he wouldn't have remembered it enough to write to her 20 years later! My goodness, how could anyone think he should walk free with no punishment for it? Yes, she seems cold and matter of fact...why the hell would she NOT??? This man RAPED her and admitted it. So some people think he should walk? NO. NO. NO. Rape is a crime of VIOLENCE not of sex. If he is not punished...basically, he got away with it..apology or not. She is absolutely right for pressing charges. Good for you girl if you read these posts. There are MANY of us who cheer you on! Forgive, maybe. But let a rapist go free....NEVER.

Is an apology enough?

Amy Tampa ,Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:33 GMT

I think RAPE is rape whether it happened 20 years ago or yesterday , those who are judging her don't have a clue what her life has been like unless they too have walked in her shoes. I don't think she would have put her family through this unless she has been honestly haunted by this for her entire life.I could not be in her shoes because I am one who holds things in and remembers things forever.I would not have the restraint she has to meet with him I would want revenge for my life.With all the sexual crimes rising so fast in this country it is ashamed more individuals do not get the opportunity she got to finally seek justice.Continue your battle !!

Is an apology enough?

Allison Huyck, Grand Rapids, Michigan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:34 GMT

Shame on everyone who wrote in berating Mrs. Seccuro for putting a rapist into jail. Shame on NBC and Dateline for portraying her in the negative manner that they did. This society spends so much time blaming women for an atrocious act that men routinely commit against them. Mr Beebe did a noble thing by coming forward, absolutely, but in no way does that free him of a criminal charge.

Is an apology enough?

Margaret, Brick, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:36 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Kate, Kerrville, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:39 GMT

Once again, it is the victim who is on trial in a rape case. I thought this was 2007??? These incredibly stupid attacks on Liz is exactly why women are still afraid to report rape in this country. Shame on every one of you!

Is an apology enough?

BARBARA M. BELLEROSE,N.Y . — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:45 GMT

let it go Liz!22 years and your still wallowing in poor me. He apoligized and I"M SURE HAD A BETTER RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT OVER YOURS.

Is an apology enough?

Liz Smith, Roanoke,VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:48 GMT

Liz was brutally raped after being druged as a 17 year old child. Her attacker contacts her after 21 years in an attempt to soothe his on concience and expects her to say,"Oh, that's okay."? Rape is a serious crime against a human being that can destroy their entire life and he expects to say "I'm sorry" and walk away with a clean slate? This man deserves more jail time than he will ever get. He is a violent crimnal and deserves to be punished.

Is an apology enough?

Jill, Etters, Pennsylvania — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:22:25 GMT

Thank god for people like Liz. People with the strength to stand up for themselves, even if it is 21 years later. I too was raped when I was 17, and in college in Maryland. But because I was friends with the guy, and no one had really every heard of date rape in 1984, I never reported the crime. I moved back home to Pennsylvania, and tried to go on with my life. But I never forgot what happened or what than man did to me. To this day, I still have issues watching any movie of TV show that depict someone getting raped. And, there are songs that trigger very vivid memories of that horrible night. Although I never got the chance to face my attacker, in the long run he did pay for his crimes. About a year and a half ago, this man's abusive behavior escalated to murder. He attempted to murder his ex-girlfriend, and succeeded in murdering her current boyfriend. By a fluke, he fled to and was apprehended in my area -- nearly 2 hours from where he lived and from where he raped me. Apprehensively, I wrote a letter to the woman he shot, and explained to her who I was and that I too had been attacked by this man. She in turn called me, and we talked several times on the phone. After several months, I also made the decision to contact the Maryland State's Attorney, and tell him my story. It turned out that several other women had come forward with similar stories, each one escalating in violence. Although the statute of limitations on my rape had long since expired, I was told that I would be used in the sentencing phase of the trial. This man ultimately pled guilty to one count of 1st degree murder, and one count of attempted murder. I was asked to provide a written statement of what happened that night. I was amazed that even though it was nearly 21 years later, how much detail I remembered about that night. For my own therepeutic reasons, I needed to go to the sentencing hearing that day, in November 2005. That was the first time I had seen him since the night he raped me. And although it was the most difficult thing I had ever done, I was able to see him be sentenced to life plus 30 years in the Washington County prison. So, even though I will never forget the events of that night so long ago, and I will never forgive myself for not going to the police at the time, at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that he will spend the rest of his life in prison, and will never again be able to harm another woman.

Is an apology enough?

I know how you feel Liz ~ somewhere — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:22:48 GMT

Hi Liz,
I didn't type my name for security purposes but I just saw your show and felt very compelled to wrtie to you. The anger, sadness, panic attacks being upset, confused wanting justice is so normal I know how you feel. I've been through something like you were. It does make you feel disguting like you said and want to take a shower. The worst part is when people don't believe you. I know you said you forgave that man Liz but remember, it's okay to not forgive him and say that. I do not forgive my abusier at all. I'm not ready too. I also think it's really great that you started a web site I would really like to talk to you I don't know many people who have been raped. Do yourself a favor and get therapy for yourself-thats not a bad thing, I have. It's really healthy. I just hope that more men,women and children come forward about the abuse they have endored so they can have some kind of justice. To Heather who just wrote that email about her assault remember when people make their bed they have to lie in it. Take care liz, heather and all of the victims out there. If someone reading these notes has been abused please tell someone -an authoriy figure. No one should ever have to feel like they have no voice.

Is an apology enough?

Lisa Marlow Evansville, In — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:22:55 GMT

As I sat watching the show I told my husband "I feel sorry for this woman and what she went through. I believe her and I believe that rape will absolutely change who you are and who you could be, but sitting here watching this woman I DON"T LIKE HER, I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE HER FRIEND." She seems completely full of herself which makes it hard to find much compassion for her. As far as the forgiveness issue. She says she has forgiven him but her tone, facial expressions and body language tells me she has not. I believe some think that if she had forgiven him she would not have had him prosecuted. I don't agree with that assumption at all. As a Christian it is a mandate of my faith to forgive. That does not negate the fact that there are consequences to our actions weather we have been forgiven or not. Especially if those actions are felonious in nature. Is it O.K. to say "oops sorry I raped you it won't happen again". She doesn't know that it may never happen again to her or another innocent victim. Absolutely she should forgive and prosecute and she needs to be more humble!

Is an apology enough?

Pat Jones Amarillo, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:22:58 GMT

I believe Liz did the right thing. So many rape victims do not go forward, and the rapists go free to do it again. He should not get a plea bargain; he is guilty. If he does, he will be free to do it again.

Is an apology enough?

Pat Jones Amarillo, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:23:29 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Pat Jones Amarillo, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:23:51 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Jean N., Ney, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:03 GMT

How many MORE women/girls has he raped and none of them ever came forward, for fear they'd be scoffed? Most never stop with just one.

Is an apology enough?

Joe & Margaret L., Lincoln, NE — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:03 GMT

Thank God for courageous individuals like Liz and talented journalists like Edie. Her actions not only are bringing her rapist to justice, they are also helping make a difference for the next generation of men and women currently at, and heading to our nation's college campuses/towns. Rape is rape. Liz's story is a significant contribution to the pathetic, "some women are just asking to be raped" attitudes of tolerated for too long.

As parents of two high school senior girls, heading to college next August, we are very thankful Dateline decided to research and present this important story.

Is an apology enough?

Frances Bennekamper, Columbus, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:04 GMT

I watched with interest the program tonight. I am a survivor of incest that occurred before I was 4 years old. My "monster in the closet" slept in the room next to mine. I wish I could file criminal charges against him, but he is dead. I do "sit on the couch", gladly, every week. No you don't ever get over it. I am 68 years old. Because my molestation occurred at such a young age, I have no direct memories, only flashbacks. It does ruin a person's life. I now know that my entire life was lived reacting to a past I never even knew existed. In response to Elizabeth's comment about opening a surfing club because it would be better than "sitting on the couch," please tell her that what really helps is finding a GOOD therapist who practices E.M.D.R. This therapy has been a Godsend to me as well as my therapist. I wouldn't be alive without either one.

Thank you

Is an apology enough?

Judy Gittinger Castalia, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:04 GMT

Once again a lot of the writers want to balme the victim. That is what this woman is a VICTIM!!! This man should pay the price demanded for the crime he committed. She has a lot to angry about. I hope this will help her go on with her life.

Is an apology enough?

Angus, Oak Hill, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:13 GMT

Lets see... seventeen year old coed, out drinking and touring frat. houses. What do you think she was looking for.

Is an apology enough?

Sharon, Alabama — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:24:24 GMT

Catherine in Georgia,
I feel sorry for you. Apparently you have some bitterness that you should deal with. I hope that you don't have a daughter to instill a lack of compassion and teach to be judgemental.

Is an apology enough?

Shirley Martis, Coral Springs, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:08 GMT

In one way I do agree with Liz's decision to prosecute because No One knows the pain and mental anguish that must come along with Rape. I do believe because of my faith in God that she should forgive her attacker and let this be the closure she so desperately needs however one can only imagine the pain and the years of torment and how her entire youth was destroyed. The attacker should face the consequences even though it was a very noble thing that he did by coming forward after so many years. Hopefully both Liz and her attacker will get the help they so desperately need.

Is an apology enough?

Ruth Westover, Cleveland, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:08 GMT

Yes, Liz is vindictive, but I feel she has a right to be. If more could be done to punish the university and the officials responsible at that time, I would be all for it. All universities should be held fully accountable for not doing more to protect their students. She may have been foolish to follow through the frat house on "a tour" but being dumb as to what could happen is unfortunately common. Not everyone is always prepared and suspicious of what may happen in such an instance. Unless our females in this country are put under a veil and chador and kept separate from the males, these things will continue to happen. Why not speak out and ask for punishment for the persons who have committed such crimes to stand up and say we will not permit that these things will go unpunished - no matter how much time goes by.

Is an apology enough?

Virginia Sheader, Glassport, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:10 GMT

I agreee he should pay for what he did. I was raped at 12 years of age. If I knew where he is now, I to would want him sent to jail. Do not critize her unless you have been in her position.

Is an apology enough?

Michelle, St.Louis, MO — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:16 GMT

As a woman who also lost her virginity from rape, I agree with what she did. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't think about the horror I went through, but I do NOT let it control my life. I am living a happy life with my husband and 4 children. Even though I think about what happened quite often, I don't let it rule my life. I am proud of what Liz did. I unfortunetly kept it secret from everyone except my best friend at the time. To this day, my family, including my husband are all unaware of my rape. I wish I had her courage. My attacker never had to pay for his crime. It is very difficult to report a rape, because so many people, make you feel victimized all over again. It was horrible the first time...nobody wants to relive it? Too bad we all don't have Liz's courage. Why shouldn't he have to pay for what he did? If it happened to you, your mom, your daughter...wouldn't you want the rapist to pay?

Is an apology enough?

Karen Lewander Bradenton Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:46 GMT

She is right to turn him in as he seemed to be looking to undo some guilt he had from his involvement with the rape of this woman. When she was 17 she was not relentless in pursueing her rapeists because she was drugged when it happened and did not have a clear pitcure and her shame kept her from moving on it. She did not initate the contact with this rapeist, the rapist did, so whatever he has coming to him he deserves. I think he is getting off a little easy, but who am I to say.

Is an apology enough?

Jay, San Antonio, TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:25:59 GMT

I feel it is a tragedy that she was raped, but she says in her statement that she wants him tried so she can "heal" or have "closure", yet she is in People magazine, the local paper and now Dateline. Is this about publicity or is it about "closure"? She also claims "he ruined her life", so how does her husband and child feel about that? Have they not brought her any happiness?

Is an apology enough?

Annick Conis — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:26:29 GMT

Liz Securro is more than an admirable woman; she is an incredible example that we, as a society, should follow, applaud, and support. The "injustice" system wronged her before (UVA, for example); let the true justice system speak!

She is not vindictive as some suggest. She is a woman who has forgiven her attacker. But forgiveness does not mean that she should accept what happened. In fact, only when retribution takes place (jail time) will this man be able to put the incident behind him as well. It is part of the "repetence" process: to take responsibility and restitute what was taken. He cannot give her back her virginity, but he can give her back peace of mind.

Liz, you have my admiration. LET'S TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!

Is an apology enough?

Francine, Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:26:32 GMT

Shawn T writes "I think that she is craving the limelight now". ann. Langa writes "God this woman makes me sick". Lea H writes "Liz needs to get a life". In my opinion you three do not have a clue to how devastating rape is. It's classic "blame the victim" from you guys. It seems I must have viewed a different show, I see Liz as an intelligent survivor, who has made the difficult decision to put herself out there and get justice. It's not ok to side with a rapist, that I just don't get. It was brave of him to contact her and apologize, but not enough, given the crime. He must have known there was a chance he would be prosecuted. It's not ok to minimize the crime and impact on the victim. Trashing Liz is wrong and incomprehensible. At the time of the rape all of the adults did nothing to help her and now she has a chance to get some justice. Put yourself in her shoes... I know a number of rape survivors who came forward and, of course, it was "blame the victim" time, with an unbelievable amount of vitriol being spewed at the victim. I know a number of rape survivors who would never come forward because of misplaced blame and backward attitudes.

Is an apology enough?

Roberta Nicoll, Peabody, Mass. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:27:16 GMT

I am so proud of Liz for going to the police. I was raped in the past and knew my attackers-- yes more than one time. But out of fear and shame I stayed silent. I know others in my family who also were raped and it affected their whole lives and self esteem like it did mine. Thankyou for putting this out in the open. We need public awareness and support. God Bless.

Is an apology enough?

Kathy Bennett — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:27:53 GMT

As someone who has never been raped, it's difficult to say exactly what I would do. However, as a person who believes that it is only with true forgiveness that one can move forward, it appears to me that Liz has yet to come to terms with this. Mr. Beebe is definitely wrong for having done what he did, but it sounds like he's lived his own hell for the past 20 years & is trying to move forward. I applaud his courage to come forward to do the right thing. There are many rape victims who haven't & will never have the opportunity of an apology, much less even know who the assailant is/was. It's too bad that Liz can't do the same. True forgiveness will give her the "joy" that she claims she hasn't felt since the day before her attack.

Is an apology enough?

Christy Brown, Oklahoma City OK — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:27:57 GMT

WOW.

People are so passionate and judgemental about a women they have never met.

I asked myself repeatedly, "If it were a murder that took place 20 years ago, committed by a drunk man on a woman who had also been drinking, would people respond with any thing OTHER than thinking he should be convict?"

The answer is NO! Of course NOT! NOONE would say, "oh live and let live. He was in college and drinking. He is apologetic now. Why doesn't the womans' family just forgive? She shouldnt have been with him anyway. And it she would not have been murdered if she wasn't drinking, anyhow."

Rape is like soul murder.

for ALL victims, but especially to a virgin.

Sex is treated like shaking hands in this society- no one thinks it means much of anything. It was created to be the union of two souls, saved for marriage. When a woman has that piece of her soul taken, she WILL be affected for life. EVEN if she "forgives."

She had every right to press charges; he committed a crime. And like a murderer who comes to justice after 20 years of not paying for it, I think that he deserves the consequences of his actions.

Apologies have never excused people from the consequenses they bring upon themselves by their actions. Forgiveness, yes. Freedom from punishment, no- at least not this side of heaven.

Is an apology enough?

Ele Larson, Kinnelon, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:28:33 GMT

What is truly upsetting is that an AA flyer was shown and only part of the step that Mr. BeBe was trying to "practice". We NEVER make amends "except when to do so would injure them or others" is the addendum to the partial step you showed on air. He got very bad advice from his spiritual advisor or sponsor. This is NEVER done like this for this reason. The goal is to clean off our side of the street. One can never be sure, as he saw quite fully here - that the "injured" party was standing there, "waiting to beat him with his own broom". Her problems are far deeper than her "rape" 20 odd years ago. She is TOTALLY self-absorbed, unforgiving, malicious and aspiritual. Her psychosis as a result of not letting go of any of this is HER fault, NOT HIS. HE cannot be blamed for her current "dysfunction". Many people go through much worse and they are functioning, caring human beings. She is a spoiled, miserable, vindictive malcontent who is looking for someone to "blame". And as I just read someone else wrote, this will NOT stop with this event. I am amazed she hasn't broken her nose keeping her face so absorbed in the PAST. She will continue to be twisted emotionally. I felt absolutely no compassion for her which is quite unusual for me. I also believe that she had a large part in her own assault. I would ask her if she were here "when the football players get in a huddle do you think they're talking ABOUT YOU"???? Thank you. Tell Mr. BeBe to hang in there. And get a GOOD sponsor. We could've predicted this with 100% accuracy. It's a no-brainer. I'm sober 26 years now. I hurt for him. I really do.

Is an apology enough?

Cindy V., Tonawanda, New York — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:28:48 GMT

I think all who are judging this woman need to remember that her attacker contacted her after 20 years; she did not try to contact him. Also, she is very fortunate that the Virginia does not have a Statute of Limitations for rape. In NYS, our Statute of Limitations for rape is 5 years.

Is an apology enough?

Barbara Roberts, Pittsburgh, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:17 GMT

I am so surprised and saddened by so many of the negative comments here. What would/should anyone do to be free from such an assault -- especially you women and mothers if this had happened to you or your daughter. As has been said "The truth will set you free" -- (after it makes you miserable and p*sses you off!) I doubt the suggestion of what some believe are Liz's motives -- and couldn't care less anyway. She was raped and rightfully took the opportunity to hold her rapist accountable -- better later than never and I hope the truth will set her and her family free -- and maybe Mr. Beebe too. Thank you Liz for your courage. I think you are an inspiration.

Is an apology enough?

leslie, vineyard haven, ma — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:17 GMT

having graduated from uva in 88 i know that liz' experience was real and painful- however, a lot has changed in twenty years, and i feel that it was brave and sincere of mr. bebee to apologize- clearly, unfair and unacceptable injuries are suffered before cultures advance and adopt more appropriate and evolved attitudes- and all insitutions including universities have their own cultures and hopefully evolving ethics- there are many ways liz could help others, but to exact specific punishment from bebee does nothing except make her pain bigger than that of so many other victims of earlier racist and sexist times. move on- pick another way- is this all Virginia equipped her for?

Is an apology enough?

Jill, Brevard, NC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:20 GMT

Wow.
THe majority of these comments disgust me. You people saying how this woman seeks publicity, attention, a 'whiner..' - you are disgusting and pathetic. And clearly have should have no voice in society.

This man is not an 'alleged' rapist. He IS a rapist. this is not a scientific theory, this is a fact.

True, you will never, ever know what it is like to endure a rape or sexual attack if it does not happen to you. And you sorry excuses for humanity who are attacking the victim should count your lucky stars that you have not been victimized like this.

As far as 'getting over it' or 'letting it go' - one does not GET OVER being raped. One DOES NOT let this go.

Admitting the fact of rape and then crossing on to the road of recovery, which yes, should include forgiveness- it is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I don't think I will ever actually forgive the man who raped me. And i will always, always, want revenge. Personally, the trauma of going through a courtroom ordeal would be too much for me to emotionally handle and I do not want to relive that night. But justice should be served.

Is an apology enough?

Marie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:22 GMT

I applaud Liz for having the courage to press charges and seek justice. Many of the comments said that she hasn't forgiven him. No one has the right to judge her until they live her life and experience what she has been through. Forgiving someone doesn't mean not seeking justice for what they have done to you. The bible says to forgive but when we sin we will face consequences. Did she make some bad and nieve choices when she drank and went with the boys? Yes. Did those choices give the boy or boys the right to rape her. Of course not. Whoever thinks that Liz's choices gave that boy the right to rape her is no better than the rapist. This "good ole boy" mentality is disgusting and unfortunately I have experienced it first hand. My minor daughter was sexually abused by someone we know. While my daughter and I both forgave him, we still wanted justice for what he had done. Forgiveness and justice are two separate issues. He is now in jail. While I know that we did the right thing, many people feel "sorry" for him and blame us for ruining his life. The fact is, he ruined his own life and he has caused my daughter, me, and his own family to suffer terribly. This is something that my daughter will have to live with for the rest of her life.
Do not judge what you know nothing about.
Liz, you go after all of these so called "men" who raped you. It doesn't matter how many years ago it was. Don't let the shallow comments and beliefs of some people get you down or cause you to wonder if you are doing the right thing. You have to rely totally on God to get you through. Only you and God know what is in your heart.

Is an apology enough?

Howard — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:28 GMT

Liz, has Hollywood called yet?

Is an apology enough?

kyle — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:29:29 GMT

I am digusted reading cruel comments about liz especially from females, true Liz should learn to forgive but let's not forget that she's was the victim, not only was she young and impressionable when this incident happened, she was also a virgin, only a psychopath will wish that she losses her virginity to a rapist. Though I am not a female, I know the sense of worthlessness a rape incident can cause the victim and how adversely it could affect a victim's life.
I have sisters and I pray each day that such a calamity doesn't happen to them.
In as much as I pray to God to grant Liz the grace to sincerely forgive, the females with mean responses can try walking alone in a dark alley at night, hopefully they get raped so that they could experience it first hand, as for the males- men get raped too.

Is an apology enough?

Melinda, Va — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:30:02 GMT

Ugh! I am so disgusted after watching your piece on Dateline. Liz needs to spend more time on raising her 3 year old daughter and less time seeking attention (and surely money)in national news media. She is manipulative,and narcissitic. It's her fault for letting this take over her life 20+ years later. I'm sorry to say that I actually feel more for Bebe in this case. He attempted to right his wrong, and she manipulated him into confessing so she could prosecute him. I hope she finds peace now that she has completely ruined the life of a man who had the bravery to come forth and apologize two decades later. She is disgusting. In a case where one should come away feeling sympathetic, I only feel pity. She is a pathetic individual. I hope she's enjoying her 15 minutes of fame. While she's sitting in the window posing for the cameras with her QVC makeup and her grand ol' opry hair, her "life" is passing her by. ps: the psycho babble buzzwords are sooooooo tired!

Is an apology enough?

JB — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:30:30 GMT

What I never understood is why college campus officials don't treat these reports as crimes. If a murder occurs, it is my assumption that it is not left up to campus 'police' or administrators to investigate. Why isn't it the same for allegations of rape? It's as if it is treated as a dispute between students. It amazes me that campus administrators often appear to be the final authority in these matters. I've wondered this everytime I've heard of similar situtations through the years.
As for Liz, it doesn't look like she has healed (not that she has to) and hopefully she will find peace at some point in her life. As for Bill...I understand the 12 step process. I believe he knew and meant what he was saying in the original letter and ultimately was prepared for any action Liz took.

Is an apology enough?

Paul LeClair, Burlington, MA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:30:49 GMT

One cannot judge Liz without knowing the whole story. Rape is a crime, (termed that because force and/or violence, without the consent of one of the involved person's, is a major portion of the act) where consenting sex between two people is just that - sex. I wasn't aware that one entered college at the age of 17. Still her parents would have had to provide their approval, and surely would have warned her about frat parties? I see college students having winter breaks in New Orleans, Florida, California and the women have no problem with flaunting their bodies and boozing it up. What was Liz wearing that evening, a mini skirt or a skirt that went just below the knees? What impression did she protray to Edie that night? Did she go to the party alone or with friends? Did her friends warn her about these types of parties? So many questions, so few on air answers. Waiting 20 years to report the crime to the university, is unacceptable to my way of thinking, if she was raped.

Is an apology enough?

Jacqueline Specht, Port St. Lucie, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:30:50 GMT

Liz seemed like an actress to me. She came across as "very dramatic." I think she just wanted to be in People Magazine and on TV. Her attacker wasn't Charlie Manson who jumped out of the bushes and beat and raped her. He was a college kid, just like she was. She should have called the police when it happened. She was 17....old enough to call police on her own. If this has ruined her life for the past 20 years, she needs some help. I say to Liz: "GET OVER IT."

Is an apology enough?

D. W — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:31:05 GMT

I am shocked at some of the the responses. This man raped this woman but instead of him going to trial he waited 20 years to ask if she would forgive him. Weather she does or doesn't he admitted his guilt, and although he has the right to apologize he commited a crime. There are consequences for all of our actions and he had 20 years of getting away with something he had to be accountable for. What is the matter with some who think this was something to be ignored?

Is an apology enough?

Scott Stephens Springfield Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:31:17 GMT

I will be happy to comment on how Liz should have reacted to Beebe's confession...as soon as I am raped! Oh sure, you all have a right to voice our opinions. I have already read some of your self-rightous comments but, only one so far appeared to be understanding (Heather's). I WONDER WHY!
As you can read, I'm a man. I received a prostrate exam in my 30's. Professionally administered, I walked out of the hospital sweating! I specifically remember that I was thinking how awful it must be to be a woman that was raped. Their experience must have be 100 times more physically painful and 1000 times more painful, mentally.
Scott Stephens

Is an apology enough?

Walt, Norwich, CT — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:31:54 GMT

Regardless of circumstances in your life, move forward and don't look back. The only person it harms is yourself. Liz should have just taken that letter and threw it in the trash and went on her vacation. Like she said, she already knew what was in it and she said she had already forgiven him. This all gives her power. So, why open it again. It's obvious her attacker has and will spend his life miserably. Why put herself through this again and again. It appears she is unable to move on. Even after this guy serves time in jail, where will that leave her? Knowing justice was served, if you call that justice after 20+ years, it keeps it in her life. Until she really moves on and puts it behind her, nothing will ever be enough. It appears both of these people will live the remainder of life miserably .... unfortunate for their families.

Is an apology enough?

Please don't show, Charlottesville, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:32:08 GMT

One reason why there is so much publicity, I believe, is that this rapist was finally caught by his own actions. How many women get that kind of vindication? Closure -- there is never closure when someone violates you physically and emotionally. I recommend every one of you attend a TAKE BACK the NIGHT Rally next April -- and see just how many young women cannot obtain closure!

Is an apology enough?

J. Bryant, Washington, DC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:32:44 GMT

I am for Liz! Drugged, definitely raped, possibly gang-raped, I applaud her strength of will that has gotten this far in life. Many women do not fare as well. She never said her life was ruined; she said that it had a profound effect on her life: panic attacks, poor self esteem, things that you don't just "get over." I am astounded by the lack of empathy from the blogs I have read so far.
It seems to me her alledged attacker lied; he said he wnated to write the wrong hed had done. Well, in the US, the usual punishment for a rapist is jail. He also lied and that he was the only attacker. Now, he plea bargains to a shorter sentence, on the basis on saying there were other attackers. Yeah, he seems really ready to right the music. You go Liz!!

Is an apology enough?

L, Nashville, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:33:32 GMT

I feel deeply sorry for both the victim and the perpetrator. Admittingly, Liz seems to be basking in the notoriety of the event somewhat. I think the man knowingly took a risk in contacting her: he was no longer willing to hang on to a very unfortunate and damaging event of his past. I think it was a brave first step in his journey to happiness. My prayers go out to Liz and her family that she too can find happiness and that her work to help others continues to promote protections to all rape victims, women and men alike.

Is an apology enough?

Eileen, montreal,qc — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:33:34 GMT

How daret they? To speak like this about a woman who has lived for more than twenty years with this trauma,though it givesme faith in mankind whenI read that the majority of responses are understanding. I guess you probably have to have gone through a similar situation to understand, still I thought women would be more sympathetic. I was assaulted when I was 14 (nothing near as traumatising as Liz,still...) and the man was in his 30's and I was too scared to do anything about it, I had no one I could trust enough to tell. Fast foward 20 years later, I encounter this man at a business function and relived the whole thing right there, I was scared out of my mind just to walk past him to find solace in the ladie's room. Anyways, you know what they say...what goes around comes around, 30 years later, I heard about this man gone missing and he is presumed drowned in a lake somewhere,with ciment shoes!!! I did not wish this man's death, but I'm not ashamed to say that I am glad he's not around anymore. More power to her and all women,men and children who has had to go through rape.

Is an apology enough?

Winter Haven, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:34:14 GMT

I feel sorry for all you women that got raped. It is a horrible event. But get over it. If I was drunk and hanging out at a sorority house, and some chick took me upstairs and had her way with me without my consent, I might feel bad for a couple of days, but after that its back to booz'n and have'n fun. You can't let something like that derail you and shoot you of course. Please!

Is an apology enough?

Sharon, Shreveport, LA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:34:40 GMT

I want to feel sympathy for Liz as a victim, but what I see is a woman of privilege who has had ONE bad thing happen in her life and she blames every bad decision she's ever made on this. Her college grades weren't as good as high school. Is that so unusual? She's made some bad relationship choices. Haven't most of us? Most of us have adversity in our lives and we learn to deal with them. We don't blame every thing that doesn't work out the way we wanted on the bad thing that happened to us when we were seventeen. Liz uses the rape as her excuse when anything in her life doesn't fit the magical idea that she's had since childhood that her life should be perfect and easy. Ironically, the scenes of her shown on Dateline give the appearance that she's still living a privileged life. I feel most sorry for her husband and her child. It really must have hurt her husband when she said she hadn't felt joy since 1984. How cruel a thing to say as a wife and a mother! And clearly not true. Unless she really is as cold as she appeared.

Is an apology enough?

Julie, Fort Lauderdale, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:35:21 GMT

LIZZ SECURRO

I watched the program with Lizz Securro. Lets' not deny, she was raped and it was wrong. However it seems she has used this incident as a crunch all her life, so she does not have to take responsibility for the unhappiness in her life or discovery the reasons why her first marriage failed. Or just explore true happiness.

What Lizz fail to realize is that no matter if her rapist goes to jail she will still be the same empty, unhappy, and unfullfilled woman she is. Unforgiveness, is like death, and until she forgives, let go, take full responsibility for her life, she will nerver be happy.

Her demeanor on the broadcast revealed to me and many other viewers, what a drama queen she is. Lizz you need Jesus in your life, you need to look to God to fill that gaping hold in your heart and void in your life. No matter how many people you try to selfishly punish to feel better about your life, you will always have that void in your life. So Lizz lay of the drama, accept responsibility, and most importantly seek GOD for guidance, forgiveness, and mostly unconditional love.

Your rapist, hurt you, violated you, 20 years ago; people make mistakes and he was trying to make ammence, accept his apology. That does not mean you are saying it was right. That means you are being the bigger person. Forgive him, the way that Christ forgive's and have mercy on you each and every day for breaking his 10 commandments daily. See God and love from within. Take the blinder off.

Wish you Luck and remember God love's you and forgive's always. Amazing Grace is not just a song.

Julie in Fort lauderdale, FL ( I never commented on a Dateline episode before I just had to reach out this time)

Is an apology enough?

Sick of Idiots, Somewhere, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:35:29 GMT

Have you noticed that all of the people denigrating Liz because of her "appearance, body language, bad acting, ect." have not said one word about William Beebe? He couldn't even say the word. He said, "I got a little rough." Bull. If that were all there was to it, he wouldn't have carried it with him for 20+ years and then apologize. He ADMITTED to it. This isn't about whether or not you like Liz. Thank God for laws and rules regarding verdicts. Whether a person is guilty does not depend on whether you, the jury, LIKE the victim. So this victim should just move on b/c the criminal apologized. I bet every one of you would be screaming your heads off if you had something stolen. But here this woman was R A P E D when she was a teenager and YOU BLAME HER FOR NOT MOVING ON b/c "she looks angry, uncompassionate, or even unforgiving" DUH! And all of you so-called Christians venting your anger at her for not forgiving and moving on..."take the log out of your own eye" before you point out the speck in your sister's.

Is an apology enough?

Cathy, Oldsmar, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:36:29 GMT

I'm proud of what Liz did. No one can possibly know the long term affects rape or years of molestation can have on a persons life unless you have lived it! He needed to be held accountable for what he did. He out right took advantage of her. I don't care if someone is at a party drinking or not that does not mean some guy has the right to put something in a young girls drink and then do whatever he wishes. I am so sick of seeing so many young girls and women who either have been molestested as children or raped as adults and then people have the audacity to tell them to get over it....to get on with their lives...that they need to stop living in the past. They cannot "began" to understand the damage that something like this does to a person mentally and emotionally. I agree with Tina from Macon, GA who said it sickens her that many of the critical people were women. I too wonder what they would say if their 17 year old daughter called them and said they had gone to a college party and someone took it upon themselves to drug their daughter and take advantage of her. This kind of stuff is occuring on college campuses all over our country. It is about time that the men who do this are made to be accountable for what they have done. I am sure we have women all over our country who have not had the guts to come forward like Liz and let someone know that the same thing happened to them because of the type of critical remarks that are made to make "them" feel like they are to blame. Wake up America! We have a far worse problem then drugs and alcohol. To Liz, I wish you the very best and hope that your mind, spirit and soul will finally be free of your pain.

Is an apology enough?

Marianne, North Carolina — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:37:07 GMT

At first I thought Beebe's apology was sufficient to right the wrong he'd done, but to truely redeem himself he must pay for his crime to not only Liz but to all of us as a society. I liken it to a child asking forgiveness of a friend for breaking a window but asking the child to to pass the information on to the parents. The authorities must be a part of the equation.

Is an apology enough?

Mindy P., Bergen County, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:37:07 GMT

Someone violates you physically and emotionally and you are told to "move on" - why - because he "deserves" a second chance. That's what's wrong with America - we do not hold people responsible OR accountable for their actions. Why have laws if we pick and choose which ones to follow. Hell yeah, he should go to jail. And so should the Dean who allowed him to go free 21 years ago for covering up a felony crime. (Maybe that could be the follow up segment....)

Is an apology enough?

Brenda Munson, Monroe, IA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:37:15 GMT

Oh, and since there are SO MANY out there that think Liz should "get on with her life," why are they not saying the same for poor (NOT) Mr. Beebe -- why didn't he just get on with his life if he didn't want to have to pay for his actions??????? Why didn't he just leave her alone? Why did he write her??? He was acting SOLELY for HIMSELF when he wrote to Liz the first time. His writing to her was so that he could feel better about himself after acting like the animal he WAS and IS!! He got off lucky!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

walt douglas valparaiso indiana — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:37:47 GMT

My first reaction is very much against her, she doesn't appear easy to like and this has probably affected her negatively for years(her fault),drinking was involved and her own roommate had her questions(a female roommate); rape is rape but the path to peace starts with forgiveness and confronting the pain not letting it dictate your life. I feel she could have confronted him in person under a controlled situation and gave him peace as well as her, 21yrs down the road tells me he had demons and wanted forgiveness; she wanted payback and the hell with forgiveness, what she didn't care about was the fact that night would entrap him emotionally for just as long as her and she had the opportunity to forgive and help unburden both; her choice revenge, let see if anybody wants to come forward in the future..jesus died on the cross and forgave those that did the crime; i don't have an answer but going to jail when your asking for forgiveness given these circumstances leaves a bad taste in my mouth and no desire to see her again..

Is an apology enough?

David, Jersey City, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:38:59 GMT

The point it sounds like many are missing, is the fact of just the guy who did it violated her, and who ever else in the Frat house that night sounds like did too.

But the fact of the University participated in the Crime. And until you have been a victim, and had a University in reality participated through the cover-ups and the rest of their actions. The Fraternity also participated in covering it up I am sure.

It causes serious mental issues, because for the rest of your life, there is this thing called a resume, and if you went there and graduated most likely it will be on there. And every time one see's that name of that college or university as well, internally it provokes feelings, you just want to have go away.

I know personally from a gay rape I went through at a State College in Minnesota, and the police were contacted. The crime was filed. Including the death threats for having filed it the rape, from other students, who were a friend of that person. And since the rapist fled across state line, one of those colleges with a college on each side of the borders, and having not only to deal with one local law enforcement over the crime, but two locals. Even though they had some kind of cooperation between the two of them, a bigger pain in the ass dealing with it, and then the death treats, and the way one is treated by the college in the remainder of the time at it.

And over time the continuous harassment from the school, over playing blame the victim, as they want to raise money. Most recently, after requested to never be contacted again by the school over its behavior, went on for over 6 months, from e-mails to postcards to calls at minimum of once a week.

Do you think I would ever give to them? One works on forgetting anything and everything which happened there? Until you get those raising money calls, and each time it clicks (even unconsciously). As I am sure anyone else when dealing with many of these wonderful Colleges and Universities who went through it can attest to.

I think, after all the rapists who did it to her are caught and tried. The next thing she needs to do it go after that Fraternity, both by her getting all of their assets on that school taken as much as possible and their national organization as well, as they might need a touch of reality too. Which, would send a clear note to every college fraternity in the nation and this problem. And then go after that University, so that Dean of Student’s gets striped of any honors the School has ever given to him and his name never appears any where at that school as well, and get some money right out of their trust funds they have raised, donations might not be so great in the future. And lastly go right after that Dean of Student’s, as he is also responsible for this crime committed, and his actions, Retirement for him might then be not so nice, as I am sure he has now.

Is an apology enough?

Mack Brown — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:39:21 GMT

Eloise, I did not say that "rape was OK". I simply stated that Liz needs to be held accountable for her own actions and choices. Liz chose to get drunk, go to a Fraternity party, and not file an actual Police Report in 1984. Police stations did exist in 1984, as well as classes on alcohol abuse and rape on college campuses. In fact, many men have been accused of rape when no such event has occurred, hence the current Duke University debacle, among others...

Is an apology enough?

A. Dupal, Harrisonburg, Virginia — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:39:25 GMT

I think that those who cannot see the impossibility of Liz's situation (the pain, the grief, the sadness, and the anger [yes, the well-deserved anger]) should refrain from commenting if they cannot show support for a crime for which THE ATTACKER PLED GUILTY.

The negative comments are a result of sideline spectators who feel threatened by someone like Liz: she is intelligent, articulate, and poised. "Critiques, how would you do on national television?" She is not aloof; she is in pain, and I felt her pain; cried through the entire show. Her grief spoke to me; open your hearts and let it speak to you!

Is an apology enough?

Charlotte, LR, AR — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:39:47 GMT

Should this woman forgive and move on? I shout a resounding "hell no". If he had murdered a child would it be good enough for him to say "I'm sorry" to
that child's parents 21 years later? Would they or society "forgive and forget"? This man did no less. He murdered the innocent girl she was. And as for it being her fault because she was there, hogwash. All of us have used poor judgement but to be found more guilty than the rapist is absolutely ludicrous. He should be held accountable as should anyone committing a major criminal act.

Is an apology enough?

Catherine Bunting, Lumberton, Ms — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:41:05 GMT

Unfortunately this woman has lived for the past 20+ years thinking about what happened to her when she was 17. Didn't her parents warn here about drinking, going off with college frat guys, etc....and what could happen? Evidently not. Like several other writers have stated, perhaps Liz is enjoying her few minutes of fame on Prime Time TV, and had she found it in her heart years ago to FORGIVE and FORGET, maybe it would not have come to this! Horrible things happen every day to individuals, but if we ALL relived the event each and ever day of our lives....Lord have mercy, this would be a miserable world! Say a prayer, ask the Lord above for strength and the power to truly forgive and forget, love your husband and child and let the past be the past and look forward to a wonderful future.

Is an apology enough?

Francine, Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:41:12 GMT

So she had a drink, so she went on a frat house tour...so many of you are writing that she created the situation. RAPE IS WRONG AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE. And to all the people telling Liz to "get a life", you need to get a clue.

Is an apology enough?

Susan T., CT — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:42:39 GMT

If there is a God, he rewarded Liz with putting Beebe in jail.

Is an apology enough?

Jane Doe Boston, Ma — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:42:57 GMT

HI I SUPPORT YOU LIZ, because your willingness to stand for who you are and helpothers is all good, and you spoke up becuase you are worth it!
Like Liz and yes, many others (which doesn't minimize the horrible, psychological trauma) I have PTS from an attack and rape in College. People here on this message board with nonsense about Liz's motives; unless you've had your life threatened in this way, you have no clue as to how you would live your life. I have lived mine witht the knowledge that this maniac is not only free after what he did to me, but he went on to teach children in N.Y.
I've lived an intimidated, fearful life because he was so strong, although ironically the weakest of all humans.
I have no doubt that Liz had the motive to seek some closure for herself and other women. She mentions justice for her own daughter, because it is sometimes our children that give us the strength to fight and go on, when we have been violated. She said she went to therapy so whoever left a message for her to do same was again being callous. Trust me you cannot put this out of your memory and I struggle almost weekly with "Should I do something?" to see if there are others out there who were also his victim. I got his name from his liscence, after he kidnapped beat and raped me...but never reported it because "friends" physically stopped me from doing so out of their own selfishness.
Liz is telling the truth about it ruining her life, as sure as the subtleties in what she said happened ring true with my rape account and rapist's behavior. God will be the judge of people like him, but if it is meant to be that someone knows a national web site where I can see if this person is in jail, please reply. I have forgiven, because I am sure my attacker is also a sicko, but I am not sure if my silence over something I in no way brought on is wrong and this is causing me guilt.

Is an apology enough?

Angus — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:43:02 GMT

Scott Stevens in Springfield Ohio... I thought Liz was looking for attention. Your vivid description of your prostrate exam while you were in your 30's was very special. I am so happy you added it was done by a professional.

Is an apology enough?

Dee Duncan, Wytheville, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:43:18 GMT

I understand the fact that Liz was raped, endured scrutiny and unbelief from fellow students and UVA itself and has dealt w/ this all these years. But she appears to me to be an unforgiving and bitter person. She has lived her life being the perpetual victim and not living her life to the fullest. She has let Mr. Bebee control her life all these years over this one act. WHile I don't approve of his act, obviously, and can commend her on her efforts to educate and make awareness available, I question her motives now. She really hasn't forgiven this man OR herself. Life goes on after any tragedy---we can either choose to let that tragedy control and ruin our lives or we can rise above that. She is not only hurting herself, what about her parents, her daugter, her husband? I think it's time she moved on.

Is an apology enough?

Katherine, Knoxville, Tennessee — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:43:32 GMT

I am shocked and dismayed by the responses to "Is Apology Enough?" What is the matter with you people? One woman, ann.langa, actually feels more sympathy for the rapist??? Sympathy for a RAPIST?? You make me sick. What kind of society do we live in that the rape and violation of a human being is so easily put aside, and when the victim is finally able to pursue justice, she is seen as "pursuing the limelight"? What woman would want THIS KIND OF "LIMELIGHT"??
I think Liz made the right decision to press charges, and I feel ABSOLUTELY NO sympathy what so ever for her rapist. He is a CRIMINAL...he brutally raped a girl and probably let others, too. Why should the fact that it happened twenty years ago make any difference? If I were her, or her mother or father, I would want to see justice done...and remember, he wanted her forgiveness for his crime and contacted her.
Don't give me this bull about rape being just a "physical act", that you "give your attacker power if you don't forgive him". Sure, forgive him as he is on his way to jail for his CRIME.

Is an apology enough?

Winter Haven, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:44:03 GMT

Please stop comparing rape to murder. Nobody is disagreeing to punishment if someone does wrong. We just have no sympathy for a women who cries rape after 21 years. She could of just thrown that letter away.

Is an apology enough?

Kim, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:44:14 GMT

I believe Liz IS doing the right thing and God bless her for her courage! How can anyone want her to stay silent, to suffer in silence after such a life-changing horrific rape/attack that some priveledged low-life scum/coward committed against her? He is the one who crawled out from a rock and contacted her some 20yrs later, he hid information that there were other rapists involved. This shouldn't be swept under the rug, it needs to be brought to the forefront and seen to the end, for closure for Liz, and to set an example for all women. As someone else before me so callously said "Unfortunately this happens to a lot of women" is the exact reason Liz needs to see this through! Liz says she has forgiven him, great, but justice still needs to be served here on earth for his crime. Let him sit in prison, I am sure he will get to endure what he put her through 20 some years ago. For those of you who sadly have "sympathy" for the rapist, maybe you can send him a care basket? How about soap on a rope, he's gonna need it! Karma is great!

Is an apology enough?

Amy - Tennessee — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:45:12 GMT

How sad that many of you think it is Liz's fault for wanting justice. When you are raped, it is with you forever! My flashbacks where I physically felt the assault lasted for months; the memories were constant for years. It impacted even my future marriage intimacy. Those of you commenting just don't get it! You can't "get over it" or "forget it". It is part of your fabric of being...making you forever different. I survived my rape, but it changed me. I just wish I could have the justice Liz has now. The 12 1/2 years haven't taken the hurt/pain.

Is an apology enough?

Mary Ellen, Ashland, KY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:46:01 GMT

I think Liz was mistreated from the school... I also felt she was a little mistreated by the interviewers on Dateline by asking her if she had been drinking. There are a lot of retrobates from the Probition era that think if one has something to drink, especially a woman.. she deserves what she gets. This is so WRONG! She was an innocent 17 year old. But regardless... she didn't ask for what happened to her. She was naive... I am sure the rape traumatized her for life! The school and the legal system and everyone else she knew should have supported her.
FOR THOSE OF YOU LUCKY ONES WHO HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING TRAUMATIC: You can not understand, therefore you have no right to judge..
How can tell how sincere he was about his apology.. perhaps he was reliving some sick fantacy in his mind.. Liz did the best she could under the circumstances. It's an American tragedy in my mind.

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, Hopeful, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:46:03 GMT

I thought the Taliban were in Afghanistan? Evidently, we are not too far away from the burka in this country. RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE!!!

Is an apology enough?

Sharon, Alabama — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:46:09 GMT

Thank you Francine. Going to a frat house and having a drink does not constitute rape.
Mack, sounds like maybe you have a little history with this kind of thing

Is an apology enough?

G.Malan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:46:45 GMT

After hearing the entire story just now on Dateline and seeing Liz's quest to forgive and go on with her life, I have a lot of doubts about her real motives.
I feel forgiveness would consist of NOT filing charges 22 years later, bur rather finding other ways to get past this horrible incident.
Mr Magnus should have never gone as far as he did back then and it's definitely a fact that drinking on campuses causes a lot of these situations back then and still today. He was wrong, but she wasn't smart at all by 'going along' with all those things that happened 22 years ago until it happened. Girls put themselves in that situation a lot of times when it can be avoided. This could have been avoided by Liz back then. Mr Magnus did a horrible thing, but she clearly placed herself there and made a lot of dumb choices.
I've been reading other people saying to get involved in religion, and I 100% agree that Liz should be doing that. Find God.
I think her desire to go after this unfortunate fellow 22 years later, should be redirected into something much more worthy and satisfying, and would ultimately give her peace of mind. And that is to go back to that campus and to use all her obvious energy to stop these attacks on girls now and in the future. It sounds like she has a website for raped girls maybe, but I think her strength should be used to help girls and prevent these things. What better way to get past all this. Educate girls on things not to be doing and things to avoid. Just think how rewarding it would be to stop a lot of rapes from occuring, as compared to be looked upon as a lady who cant forgive and who looks bitter and maybe is in this for money. A movie even?
My advice is to turn this around and make something good from it. Help young girls in colleges all across the country. Let them know how to not put themselves in this situation. They need you Liz!
Make a difference, not a buck!

Is an apology enough?

Louise W. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:50:33 GMT

Yes, an apology at this point in time is enough. As a survivor of a sexual assault at the age of 12 years old,I have gone thru, lived, and relived that horrible experience.After many years I knew that it was time to move on. My attacker was never punished and even had a job working for the department of corrections as a correctional officer. Because I have God in my life I was able to move on and put things behind me. God brought me thru it. If my attacker after 21 years had apologized to me I would accept it. Afterall if God can forgive murders and thieves on the Cross then who am I not to forgive? Who is she not to forgive and keep the bitterness and anger going? The years of anger are embedded into her face and her being. Even if this man goes to prison, it will not be enough for her to move on with her life.

Is an apology enough?

Stephanie, — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:51:46 GMT

Are you SURE that she graduated from the top of her class and wasn't smart enough to go straight to the police 21 years ago?????? give me a break!

Is an apology enough?

t elardo, staten island, ny — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:52:31 GMT

can you tell me why my blog was not posted

Is an apology enough?

In Liz's corner, and in Virginia — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:53:12 GMT

G.Malan:

Were you even listening to the show??? Magnus is the name of the reporter!! Beebe is the name of the perp (perpetrator). If you are going to post, GET THE FACTS STRAIGHT.

Is an apology enough?

Susan R., VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:53:14 GMT

As I read this, I am concerned because so many people are writing in to say "she was drinking and in a Frat house, what did she expect?" Uh-oh -- I have a son in college, so if he's drinking and in a frat house, should I assume he has the right to rape a 17 year old? C'mon America, rape is a felony. And the real issue is: Why did the University cover it up??? UVA is a Public School -- Dateline should have interviewed the Governor and legislators about this topic? Why does this school continue to receive Federal Funds? So much press attention has been given to this issue, but so little has been done!

Is an apology enough?

Linda Williams, Waterloo, Iowa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:53:30 GMT

I am pleased this program has generated so much comment. I am shocked at the unkind things being said about Liz and rape victims. PTSD is a big part of the what and why need for some kind of resolution to traumatic events. My daughter, now 25, was raped when she was 13. She reported it immediately. She did the rape kit at the hospital, the interviews by police, going to the scene, describing the crime repeatedly to many people, facing the rapist in court, anxiety, sleep disturbance, reliving the event repeatedly.

It NEVER goes away entirely. The ability to cope just varies. My daughter is a survivor, no longer a victim, but she has to live with it every day for the rest of her life. The rapist doesn't even really know who she is and our state is paying for him for the rest of his life. He still doesn't think he did anything wrong. Kidnapping and rape are wrong.

People who experience violent crimes of all sorts need to be supported by socienty - not ridiculed. What it it was you...your daughter...your mother...your wife....your girlfriend...your lover....your son.....your brother ........You get the picture!!!

Some empathy please!!! We all cope in deffernt ways.

Is an apology enough?

Mary Ellen, Ashland, KY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:53:54 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:53:56 GMT

As a college co-ed, who is over 21 and has gone to parties--to the men and women saying she should not have been drinking and going on a house tour--I have been to a few frat parties, but I've never been RAPED. The logic used by you people astounds me. If a man is murdered, people don't say, he was asking for it or he shouldn't have been withdrawing money out of an ATM at night. Why are you people not condemning his behavior: Don't drug a girl, don't rape a girl? Just because young men have raging hormones does not give them permission to violate someone. I am glad Mr. Beebe is repentant after all of these years, but again, he should have turned himself into police if he was really that sorry or upset over what he had done. He wanted to have his cake and eat it to. He wanted to be forgiven and get away with rape without punishment. He should have told his lawyer that he is guilty. At least he was man enough to take the plea bargain.

Is an apology enough?

walt douglas valparaiso indiana — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:54:30 GMT

We are human beings subject to faults large and small, if you belive in the bible you have heard; hate the sin ,love the sinner.. We are all sinners and subject to somebody's forgiveness at some point, and hopefully not to this level of sin aginst another. I'm wondering now if he has more peace of mind then her, i suspect that she still is suffering and that is trully a crime..

Is an apology enough?

Barb — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:54:47 GMT

Go for it Liz! I knew a girl that was raped by a string of college "men" within the same evening. She too was "set-up." I was horrified to learn that it had a name. It was referred to as "pulling the train" back then.
You GO girl. Do whatever you need to make yourself whole again.

Is an apology enough?

army Jim, Phila., Pa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:56:10 GMT

Liz did what she thought was best for her. No one can judge her,but the earth is filled with small minded people,and they will. After its all said and done,I hope this makes it easier for her, to let it go. As far as Bebee is concerned, the other part of step 9 says "except when to do so would injure them or others." Well it hurt Liz(them),and Bebee(others.) It sounds like Mr. Bebee, did not have a sponsor,or did not listen to the sponsor he had, or had a sponsor that did not know the steps

Is an apology enough?

Ramona, West Palm Beach, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:56:14 GMT

Everyone handles things in a different manner. If you have ever been molested, raped, touched inappropiately, you never forget it. It affects your entire life. She may have handled it poorly by not being able to forgive, she must live with that, however if she forgives, life will get better for her. He attacher is still liable.

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, Hopeful, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:56:30 GMT

So Liz went to a frat house and had a drink. So an innocent teenager should have stayed in the convent and not ventured out her door? WHY DID THE UNIVERSITY ALLOW DRINKING TO BEGIN WITH? WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE CALL THE CAMPUS POLICE WHEN THEY SAW THE BLOOD ON HER HALF NAKED BODY. WHY WAS A YOUNG, INNOCENT GIRL TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF DIRTY MEAT FOR ANY "MAN" TO USE IN ANY WAY HE WANTED...AFTER DRUGGING HER...WITHOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES. She was just supposed to accept her fate like any other "nice" American girl and just SHUT UP AND TAKE IT??? I hope you know where your daughter is tonight. Is she at a nice, safe university in your town? This blog has just made me sick. This is exactly why people call us hypocrites. Where is democracy for Liz?

Is an apology enough?

sally, chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:58:16 GMT

I fully appreciate the trauma and violation which Liz experienced at 17. However, I believe we each have the power to create the life we want and wallowing in the "victim" role is what Liz has chosen. Think of all of the atrocities that occur daily in this world. If individuals cannot forgive the perpetrator (who often is as tormented by their actions as the victim) our world would be a place of retribution; we already have enough of that. William is in recovery from alcoholism (an addiction that has resulted in behavior which he is ashamed of, he is trying to make amends by owning up to his transgressions and attempting to move forward.) A selfless person would understand this and accept the honest effort on his part to make amends. I believe Liz is opportunistic and using this for personal gain.

Is an apology enough?

Thomas Jefferson, Charlottesville — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:58:55 GMT

As I have said before, it is all about Honor.

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, Hopeful, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:00:45 GMT

When your daughter is raped, let me know, I'll send you a prayer for forgiveness. Oh yes, don't call the police...they may not be so forgiving!

Is an apology enough?

Julie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:01:00 GMT

This is to comment on the Sick of Idiots, Somewhere USA.

We comment on LIZZ because you can be hurt and violated, as many people have, including myself time and time again. However you can choose to be a victim for the rest of your life as Lizz has chossen to. Or you can choose to be victorious. Lizz an be victorious in her life, say yes that happen, but i will not live in anger, and unforgiveness not one more day. I will not let this rapist steal my joy, i will overcome this. That's why we comment on her because it obvious to us and people who have been hurt like me, exactly why she is behaving the way she does. It's less about the rapist and more about her, her behavour and demeanor.

No one is saying that she was not rape. But what we are saying, stop playing the victim, and she is so good at it, as she has done in for 20years, 'poor me'the victim'. What we are saying to her, you want to be happy and not be angry anymore. Accept what happen to you, forgive and move on with your life.

Praise the Lord, be happy, thankfull and greatfull for all that is wonderfull in her life.

Julie Fort lauderdale FL

Is an apology enough?

John Doe, Spring City, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:02:23 GMT

This woman did not cry once. Did anyone notice that she had her blouse unbuttoned down to the third button (looked like to me anyway) as she was walking down the street? This appears to me to be someone of great confidence and knows her own worth. People with low self esteem issues and such, have a tendency to walk with their shoulders inward and their heads down as they walk. I don't see a damaged person, only someone who isn't famailiar with what Jesus teaches. I feel deeply for the person who in my opinion, date raped her (no better) and set himself on the road to self destruction. I pray that he serves no time and begins to heal and have a nice life. Mark 11:25, 26. I hope I wrote that correctly.. God has a name, it is Jehovah. That is not a quote from the Bible but if you're interested, look at Exodus 6:3 I believe.

Is an apology enough?

Does it matter. Washington, DC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:02:47 GMT

OK, you people do realize that Liz was on TV being interviewed about the situation. When you are interviewed, for hours and hours, about something so hideous, of course you are going to come across as bitter. THIS WAS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THING! PEOPLE WHO SAY "JUST GET OVER IT," "GET THERAPY," AND "FORGIVE HIM," should think about this: if that were your daughter, sister mother, or even brother, son or father (men can get raped too!) would you want the perpetrator to go to jail? I would. Who knows who else he might have raped before he was reported by Liz. Beebe is lucky. If I was raped, my family would have hunted him like a rat and killed him.

When I was in college, I had some sense. I never drank to excess; and when I did see girls who had a little too much to drink, I immediately took them back to their rooms and away from "helpful" guys. I would make sure they were OK and sometimes stayed with them over night in my sleeping bag on their floors. The guys might have been OK, but at the end of the day, better safe than sorry.

Is an apology enough?

JE in Baltimore — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:03:34 GMT

I tried to read all the comments about tonight's show, but I was sickened by many. Like many out there, I was raped almost 30 years ago by a'friend.' He was in the military and all attempts to even find a willing ear was blocked or excused. Forgiven, but will never forget. She is a braver woman than I am because I could never even tell my family to this day.

Is an apology enough?

SW, Pensacola, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:04:19 GMT

I have a difficult time reading comments from people who FORTUNATLY have never been in this situation. As several others here who have a right to comment, I am also a victim and I will never get over, be able to put it out of my mind, move on with my life, or just plain let it go, as has been suggested here. I still, 24+ years later, have nightmares about the violation that happen to me as a young woman. Do I expect that they will just go away? Well, they haven’t yet. Does it interrupt my everyday life, my relationships, who and what I am? You bet it does!!! No she and WE are not actresses we are real people just like you, unfortunately we have had a raw, horrible experience with people in our lives. It does not matter that she was at a campus party or that alcohol was involved, she was violated with out her consent. Are you suggesting that any time there would be alcohol or a party involved that we are “asking for it”? Who are you to decide that this violent act should be able to happen because of the circumstances surrounding it???

The tragedy doesn’t define our lives. It is our lives!! I am also a mother of 2 daughters and 1 son, and my focus is my children, but when I have a nightmare and they wake up to hearing their mother screaming at night do you think they don’t have questions? Of course they do, and they have all been told appropriately. My son would love to “get his hands on the person that hurt his mother and makes her cry in the middle of the night”, this was stated when was a 6 year old, thank GOD that he is a young adult now and has the up-most respect for women. My daughters know how to look around them and “see” their surroundings. What happened to being able to allow them to be happy children, RAPE happens!

It should always be able to be prosecuted to the fullest extent at any time the victim feels strong enough to pursue. I support Liz and all victims who come forward no matter how long it has been. We have a right, in this country to prosecute a criminal at anytime!

One final comment- how would you feel if it was your WIFE, CHILD, MOTHER, SISTER, SON, BROTHER would you feel the same way then or would you EXPECT justice???

Is an apology enough?

Ramona, West Palm Beach, Florida — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:04:36 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Karen Wadas Ord, Nebraska — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:04:50 GMT

We have known for years what rape does to a person,[anywhere from self destruction to prostitution to suicide] and I feel Liz has coped very well in dealing with this injustice for so long! Thank God for a understanding and supportive husband and family! Going to a party should have nothing to do with the fact she was raped!!! Apparently, she was saving herself for a special someone and that was taken away also. Shame on anyone who is blaming the victim!!! I wouldn't forget this, if it happened to me,for the rest of my life! Justice is long overdue,and should be carried out just as any other serious crime,such as murder. Should they be let off just because you "feel sorry" for them? COME ON!! Who the heck wants everyone in the world to know you've been raped?? That has to be embarrassing! The last people in the world, I would want to know, would be my children,and her kids will know,how very hard this must be for Liz!!! In light of this, I can't believe she [as mother] would put herself in the limelight, if not to protect others from the same heartache and cover-up!!! This case should be treated as if it happened yesterday, and if that was the case, everyone would want him hung!!!

Is an apology enough?

Trish, Orem, Utah — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:06:52 GMT

I am a Psychologist and when she says she has forgiven him, I don't buy it. Actually, people who forgive move on. And when she says that maybe this will help her move on, my experience with others who have been harmed is that this will not. She is still very vindictive and angry and she wants retribution. Only be truly forgiving will she move on. She has harbored resentments all of these years, when she could have healed. Healing is a choice and it's ours.

Is an apology enough?

John M, Hackensack, NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:07:26 GMT

I don't want to blame the victim but I have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who has lived for 20 years full of anger and resentment and needs revenge to feel whole. I feel that Liz will not be satisfied no matter what form of justice her attacker receives. Liz now has a new crusade ( more possible attackers ) to fuel her. When will she be satisfied that justice has been done? This rape victim could benefit from working and incorperating the 12 steps of A.A. into her own life.In closing, Liz has the right to be angry. But to still have this venom 20-plus years later, she needs to look at herself. Happiness is an inside job.

Is an apology enough?

Ann Moya Socorro, Nm. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:07:49 GMT

I was raped in 1982 at the university of Montana at the Sigma Nu fraternity. I was drugged and I recall that my friend were knocking at the door but I could not answer. I know that it was a practice of the guys to get awards at the end of the evening for getting layed. I have been affected years later by this event. I was too afraid to report the incident. I approve of this women's bravery to press charges.

Is an apology enough?

Winter Haven, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:08:08 GMT

When my daughter is raped I'm not going to let her drown in guilt, depression, and anger. I'm going to lift her up and help her past this horrible event. I'm going to put her back on track through love and support. I'm going to teach her to be happy for the life that she has. I'm going to teach her to be greatful for everything that she has. I'm going to teach her that they can take your body but they can't touch her heart, mind, or spirit. Got it!

Is an apology enough?

Jennifer Doe, Richmond, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:09:12 GMT

John Doe, You need to be careful what you attribute to God. You are not Him. God is pretty strict in these situations and tends to send people to William Beebe to hell unless they find Jesus. That's why Jesus came, because Jehovah had pretty strict rules and alot of people were going to hell back then because God wasn't forgiving them unless their sacrifice was just right! But Jesus did stop the pharisees from stoning Mary Magdeline...why don't you stop stoning Liz!

Is an apology enough?

Kat, Knoxville, Tennessee — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:10:45 GMT

Good Lord! What is going on here? Why are there such negative comments about this woman? RAPE IS A CRIME that never leaves the victim, no matter how much she thinks she has gotten on with her life. It should not matter that it happened twenty-plus years ago. The rapist should face the consequences.
This is NOT about her forgiveness, how she looks on TV, whether we "like" her or not, or her "seeking the limelight". IT IS ABOUT HIS CRIME!! He did not get nearly enough time for what he did.

Is an apology enough?

Stella — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:11:43 GMT

Rape is a crime. Rapists should be punished. Thank God Virginia doesn't have a statute of limitations on felonies. Liz is doing the right thing. I didn't see a woman "seeking the limelight", and she moved on as best she could after such a tragedy. When I was watching the show, I saw an intelligent, strong woman who has the guts to demand justice. Misogyny, apparently, is alive and well, judging by some of the hateful comments which are very stupid and cruel...

Is an apology enough?

Elizabeth Roe, Charlottesville, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:12:40 GMT

Point of law here for the Holy Rollers - Liz took the letter to the police. From that point forward, the decisions were made by the Commonwealth Attorney's office. THEY chose to arrest him. THEY pressed criminal charges. Liz was merely a witness for the Commonwealth. This was not handled as a civil case - this was handled as a criminal case. Dateline is telling you the Story - Liz had no participation in the plea bargain or sentencing.

This point is why most rapists are not taken to trial -- because the Commonwealth Attorneys do not have the "spines" to do what is right - put a few college rapists in jail and this campus crime problem will be forever solved.

BTW - for all you Virginians, contact your Delegates. Last year HB154 was presented to the General Asssembly and shot down - that bill would have mandated that the jurisdiction for felony crimes be turned over to local police. Campus Cops are not properly trained to investigate felony crime.

Is an apology enough?

Grateful and deeply hopeful that my granddaughters are as strong as my mother... — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:12:51 GMT

Liz is a courageous champion of victims of rape. Her voice and story ran deep for me and my mother. As we watched the show, it was evident how powerful her message was to all women who have been violated and who were not believed by those whom they trusted. My mother was a young girl of 10 when she was violently raped by my grandmothers boyfriend in a wooded park in Chicago. That was 66 years ago!! There was NEVER any arrest even after it was reported and evidence was gathered. My grandmother called my mom a liar and a refused to support any investigation by social workers and police. That monster that destroyed my mom's childhood was never prosecuted and she has forever born the pain of that horrific assault. I asked her what she thought about this program and she said that she could never do what Liz did however she wishes that she would have had the support of her mother and family because the other part of this crime was the lack of belief and compassion from others. Not believing her was just has painful as the rape. This has had a transgenerational impact with her own children and their children. If I could dig this monster up and have justice done for what he did to this little girl, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Is an apology enough?

Sara, Georgia — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:14:52 GMT

Liz is a HERO. She should be awarded by Congress for her bravery. Like Liz and the other victims of sexual assault that have posted their comments on this forum, there is a need for justice when you are raped. When I was 15 years old, I was in foster care and was placed by Child Services at the Christian Home and Bible School in Mt. Dora, Florida. An 18 year old male sexually assaulted me on several occasions, and thretened me if I ever told. I finally got the courage to tell someone when another girl who was 13 was also sexually assaulted. The authorities at the school waited 9 days to report it to the police, only after I started screaming when my teacher made me hold his hand in chorus class. The guidance counselor, I think, forced the hand of other officials at the school to call the police. After I spoke with the police, the 18 year old was taken to jail. I was ridiculed by other students as well as teachers and authorities at the school. The school forced the other girl and I to drop the charges--threatening me that I would be sent somewhere where I would not see my family or friends again. They interrogated(the school)me for hours on a Saturday before they called the police using a tape recorder and turned it off from time to time, while in between the recordings they would threaten me. They would not allow me to eat. While in their care and after the incident I had food withheld from me as a punishment. I threated suicide to an outside counselor in order to get out of the Christian Home and Bible School. Since the incident, I have found out that the 18 year old male that assaulted me had been convicted of several murders and given a life sentence at the age of 15. Since he was a "good boy" in the juvenile detention facility he was given an educational "repreive" to come to the Christian Home and Bible School. The 18 year old who did this to me was the school's best athlete and also preached at their church. The school (in my opinion) protected him because they knew they would be in trouble for allowing a convicted fellon live with foster children. He was also their "star" athlete. I said all that to say this...I want justice too! I want my attacker to be sent back to prison. He should have served his LIFE sentence for murder, but then to get out and do what he did to me and my fellow foster sister is just inexcusable. I also think that the authorities involved at the Christian Home and Bible School should be charged with Sexual Assault as well because they should have protected me. So..LIZ you are my hero because I now have the courage to do something about it.

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, Hopeful, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:15:07 GMT

THANK YOU ELIZABETHER ROE, VA!

Is an apology enough?

Debra M. New York, New York — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:15:22 GMT

I firmly believe that no means no but there are unanswered questions in this piece of "reality" journalsm. First, the name and presumeably the social security number of the attacker were known or available so why, in the intervening 20 years, did Liz fail to make a complaint and seek a warrant for the arrest of her rapist? Why did she act only when he contacted her?

Is an apology enough?

Marjorie Martin, Phoenix, AZ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:15:42 GMT

Liz deserves to heal her scars by prosecuting to the full extent of the law, after all, the rapist is healing his emotional scars by admitting to his guilt. Liz was treated unfairly at her college and this should be revealed. Women cannot ignore these past injustices and Liz's story, I'm sure, is just one of thousands that should be public. She is a brave and determined woman who I admire for her tenacity. Women MUST take a stand for their rights, and Liz is doing the correct thing.

Is an apology enough?

Jane Doe — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:16:22 GMT

Jennifer Doe, No one has gone to Hell. Anyone who is dead is simply sleeping until Jesus returns. It is Jehovah who is very, very, very forgiving for He gave us Jesus to die for our sins.

Is an apology enough?

Kathy in Mass. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:16:57 GMT

Of coarse she is bitter, she deserves to be. He took something that she can never get back. My prayers go out to her and I pray she nows feels vindicated. Most of the people in the Univ. of Virginia did not really believe her, I hope her telling her story makes others look at a girl who says she was raped and see if there are drastic changes in her persona will reach out and help instead of questioning her honesty. Very few young woman would say they were raped unless she was.

Is an apology enough?

Lani Gray, Phoenix, AZ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:17:29 GMT

Yes, he apologized, but to soothe himself. He could not be honest until she confronted him with his choice of words. Then remember when she felt others were there and he said he was the only one. The man was not being honest as comes to light later. I am proud of her for having the courage to do what she has done which is bringing a very important message to the forefront. RAPE IS NOT OKAY. Did you hear the woman who says she wishes she had been more inclined to believe her at the time. I agree that those who want to smear her have never suffered what she has. Did you not hear that she was bleeding in that area. I'm so glad he felt the need to ask for an apology and I believe what she is doing will bring about peace for both of them. And she is helping so many other women get the attention they deserve in these situations. It is not easy to do what she is doing and I am very proud of her for having the courage to do what she felt she needed to do to be able to move on from this in the long run. Did those who would blast her not hear that this has weighed heavy on her all these years. It is what it needs to be. She has my support 100%. Yay for you, Liz, for doing what needed to be done! I admire you!

Is an apology enough?

Mother, Irving,TX — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:18:18 GMT

Until you have been raped you don't how you will react. My daughter was assaulted and raped on a church parking lot. Due to the fact that she went to the police two days later, she was not believed. No one can imagine the feelings that live forever inside a rape victim. The police did not believe her and because of their opinion neither did the Attorney General. The police were given an informant that confimred who the rapist was and had heard him confess what he had done. Yet this informant was worth more for drug information. So the assault and rape was not as big as a "drugs or the murder case that the investigator was working on". This is what the investigator said to her and the attorney general believed. At barely 18, her world has crashed. She is not as stong as Liz to carry on. She and Liz have so many feelings that they will carry around with them for the rest of their lives. "Sorry" does not mean a thing. Rape is a murder where the victim LIVES remembering every moment of every day of their life. It never goes away. He wanted "sorry" to cover his guilt, what does she get to cover his act of murder on her. I am sure that you think I am just prejudice because this happened to my daughter. It also happened to a family that had a young son who was raped in the worst way. He contacted AIDS from this rape, lived a short time and died. Yet you say that rape is not a crime.....then let it happen to you(Male or Female) and let us see how you feel. We will just sweep it under the rug and say shame on you for letting it happen. We as a society should be ashamed of the fact that most women do not feel that they can report this crime and be belived. Why is that?

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, HOPEFUL, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:19:02 GMT

Debra M, NY, She didn't prosecute b/c she was doing what so many people on this blog suggested...moving on with her life. HE CONTACTED HER! WHAT GALL! WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE RAPED, AND THEN THE RAPIST CONTACTED YOU?

Is an apology enough?

Jean, Utah — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:19:31 GMT

Hey Liz..what program will your movie be on? Will you also have your family portrayed? What a great actress you are! Get a life and stop bringing up a bad situation for all of the young girls that were raped at an early age. Rape???? hmmm...bring me up to date..which Police Dept. did you go to?

Is an apology enough?

Louise W. Garner, North Carolina — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:19:51 GMT

Is an apology enough?

SE, Arizona — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:20:02 GMT

Rape is nothing less than the murder of the soul. It is a horrible crime that is more often than not minimized. Survivors don't just "get over it." They live with what happened minute by minute / day by day. Mr. Bebee apologized to make himself feel better. It's not about him. Ms. Securro did what she needed to do. It was the right decision.

Is an apology enough?

Ya Vaughn, Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:20:25 GMT

I have been reading the comments on this site and I can't believe the things everyone is saying. You are making the criminal a victim and the victim a criminal. Come on people this guy took away her innocence...HER VIRGINITY. Whether she was at a frat house party or a tea party, no one has the right to force themselves on anyone. Have a heart or at least some commen sense. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!! It is obvious that none of you who wrote these ridiculous comments don't know anyone who has been raped or haven't been raped at all themselves.

As for the ones who have been raped...I'm sorry that you had to experienced such an awful situation. I was attacked when I was 19 yrs old, but fortunately for me I wasn't rape b/c I fought my attacker and I was able to run home. I never told anyone about it, the police nor my parents. I wasn't at a party nor was I drinking. I was coming home from a summer tutoring job in the early afternoon. As for those who are probably thinking it was b/c of the clothing I had on...let me tell you, I was wearing an oversize T-shirt and jogging pants. I considered myself very lucky b/c that day could have changed my life forever.

Just think...if that was your sister, aunt, mother, niece, cousin, grandmother, or even your self...would have stated the comments you wrote earlier?

Is an apology enough?

Winter Haven, FL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:20:59 GMT

Excuse me Mrs. Smarty pants Roe in VA. Liz knew exactly what she was doing when she went to the police. Nice try.

Is an apology enough?

Julie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:21:12 GMT

Jennifer Doe, give me a break.

Obviously you know very little about the bible, God and Jesus Christ and do not compare lizz Securro to Mary Magdeline. We serve a very forgiving, loving awesome God. One that died on the cross for us so we can be free. God wants us to obey and keep his commandments and when we break them, we go to him for forgiveness. God offers amazing grace that is immersurable. The power of God, there is nothing to compare.

Lizz is unforgiven, the difference is God is not.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:21:19 GMT

To Mr. Wait Douglas

I am a Christian, a Southern Baptist, in fact. Liz may even be a Christian, herself--we don't know. We do know she is hurting. Jesus forgave the thief who hung on one of the other crosses, but Jesus didn't lift him off of his cross, heal him, and save him from his earthly punishment. Jesus teaches us that there is forgiveness for our sins, but that we must face judgement from governments here on earth, and also from God after we die. For example, I remembering confessing to doing something as a child, and appologizing to my parents, but I still got grounded, because they wanted me to realize that breaking the rules comes with a price. The same rule applys in society, no matter how big or small the infraction is. Again, if Mr. Beebe was truly repentent and wanted to be dealt the punishment that fit the crime, HE WOULD HAVE TURNED HIMSELF IN FOR RAPE at the time of the rape, rather than write a letter 21 years later, and then should have written a letter of appology from HIS JAIL CELL.

Is an apology enough?

Jennifer Doe, Richmond, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:21:28 GMT

Jane Doe, You need to re-read your bible.

Is an apology enough?

C. Meredith, Mays Landing, N.J. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:21:37 GMT

Sorry is not even close, especially because he did it to make himself feel better. Five years is not enough either. I read many of these blogs on MSNBC and am saddened by how unconscious, insensitive, and cruel people are. On the other hand, Liz was an example of strength, truth, and grace under fire.

Is an apology enough?

Brenda, Austin, Tx. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:24:14 GMT

Oooops! I made a bad mistake with naming "Mangus" instead of "Bebee". Please for give me. It is just as ironic naming Mangus as it is Bebee.

Is an apology enough?

S, TEXAS — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:25:19 GMT

Debra M, maybe at the time being a 17 year old she was terrified and not as sure of herself. I know that as the years have passed my security as a woman has streghthened and I am more inclined to speak up when something is wrong. Right now, this is wrong. May you never know the pain she suffered and had to relive just because this jerk wanted to move on with his life.

Is an apology enough?

Jennifer Doe, Richmond, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:25:52 GMT

Julie, I'm not comparing Liz to Mary Magdeline. I'm comparing John Doe to the Pharisees and pointing out that Jesus defended a woman instead of stoning her in complicity with her TORMENTERS! Get a brain!

Is an apology enough?

STEPHANIE — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:28:10 GMT

Her parents were informed nine days after the incident at "parent's weekend" ...........they all cried and gave her strict instructions to call home every night. HA! AGAIN......WHY DIDN'T THEY GO TO THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!! IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOUR DAUGHTER WOULDN'T YOU MAKE SURE THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE WOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE??

Is an apology enough?

Denise DAgostino — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:28:58 GMT

When I saw this show I decided to take a stand, no matter how small, to suport Liz's decision, as it is her's to make. Without being a victim I believe it's hard for some of society to understand and accept what a traumatic crime this is for a victim of sexual assault. I am a victim, I am a survivor and I choose to deal with my rape in my own way as Liz has. It doesn't matter how much time goes by it is always there, lurking in our subconscious waiting for an opportunity to surface and remind us of the stripping our very existence. It's hard for a nonvictim to understand this is a crime of power and for those of us that survived we fight everyday to regain that power and to keep it. In this world with the increase in crime this is a very hard thing to do.

As for the "Give it a break it was long ago" you never know what you would do in someone elses shoes unless you walk in them and I pray no one ever gets that opportunity. I don't feel the need to educate on different points of view as it is not my judgment to make but I would hope everyone would ask himself or herself on question. "What if it was my sister my mother, daughter, wife, cousin, aunt,grandmother and yes brother, father, son how would I feel?" Maybe they would feel the same or maybe they wouldn't, as I said it's an individual choice.

I am not a professional I'm just a grown woman now 51 who was raped in my 20's. I have volunteered for the Sexual Assault Victims Unit in different states for about 17 years and will continue to do so. In my situation this is my healing and the healing goes on forever..............

Denise DAgostino
Rockledge, FL

Is an apology enough?

Jim Matt — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:29:45 GMT

We all have our opinions, and thus what follows is mine..... To judge if Liz made the right or wrong decision would not be a valid point here. The issue here is a rapist committed a brutal attack on a 17 year old woman... Had this victim been a sister,mother,dear friend, of any one of us would we understand the pain,or humiliation with any more sensiyivity? I think not.... When a crime of this type is visited upon our society it is the responsibility of the rest of us to support the victim.... That is what makes us humans and the criminals animals.... Liz should be held up as a hero to all those victims that didn't have the chance to prosecute their attackers... Remember once we begin to accept appologies from these monsters then we are saying anything goes..... Now, who wants to be the next victim and accept an "I'm sorry"...... Wake up America everybody deserves justice......Liz, Hang in there you have taken the road that works for you so therefore you made the right decision.

Is an apology enough?

Grateful and deeply hopeful that my granddaughters are as strong as my mother... — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:31:21 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Is there justice for women in America, HOPEFUL, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:31:29 GMT

Jim Matt, Many thanks for putting it so well!

Is an apology enough?

Pink, State College, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:31:32 GMT

I am insulted that NBC would even solicits opinions on whether her decision to prosecute is right or wrong. He and apparently other men raped this unconscious woman. Yes, he made a very serious mistake. The fact that it has haunted him indicates that he does have some virtue. People don't realize that the ONLY way he will come clean is by serving time and DOING THE RIGHT THING. He will have a chance at life again ONLY after he serves his time.

Is an apology enough?

Kristin G. Chicopee, MA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:31:58 GMT

I have recently been tackling a similar situation of my own and everyday faced with my past, but in my own opinion the only way to really become a better person and be truly happy I need to forgive and hope that others karma will come full circle. I am not the person to judge others or their fates. Hopefully Liz will see that judging this man will not change who he is, only he can do that.

Is an apology enough?

Michelle Upstate New York — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:32:32 GMT

It makes me sick to read all the negative comments about Liz. This is a women who was the victim. It doesn't mater that it was 20 years ago. A crime was commited and Mr. Bebe should be punished for what he did. Liz I give you credit for what you have done. God Bless You.

Is an apology enough?

Elizabeth Roe, Charlottesville — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:35:37 GMT

To Winter Haven; I prefer to argue from fact rather than emotional dribble. This blog should not be used to attack others because they do not share your point of view. You stated earlier that no one should cry rape after 21 years. You must have missed the comments from the dorm-mate who said that Liz told everyone about her ordeal when she returned to the dorm. That woman chose not to believe or assist Liz then - but now has remorse and wishes she had. Liz went to the Dean, HE was supposed to assist this young girl and he chose not to. Twenty years later THE LETTER arrives. Liz did not cry rape 21 years later, she received a letter validating everything she said 21 years ago! Here's another question Edie never brought out -- Liz had married twice, and was not using her maiden name. How the hell did this guy find her? Ah, UVA maybe??? Oh no - now we've uncovered the issue that UVA releases sensitive information to anybody who wants it??? THAT IS SCARY!!!! Dean Canavieri talks with thousands of kids in his career -- but he remembers this little frat incident? Hmmm, maybe he too has had a lot on his mind the past 20 years.......

Is an apology enough?

G Malan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:36:47 GMT

ok...In Liz's corner, and in Virginia...
I see I put the wrong name on there. My mistake, but at least I have the courage to put my name on mine. Do you?
And did you even bother to read what I wrote? I highly doubt it, because you were too worried about names instead of content.
I think your time would be better spend helping girls now and in the future instead of what you are doing tonight.

Is an apology enough?

Jennifer Doe, Richmond, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:37:52 GMT

It is really scary to think that if I were ever raped that my attacker would be judged by a jury of his peers...they might bless him for stopping drinking and give him a pat on the back for being a good boy, then send me to prison because in their mind the fact that I pressed charges indicated that I hadn't forgiven him. GOD BLESS THE CONSTITUTION and the rights that it gave me to have my attacker brought to JUSTICE and that gave him/her the right to face his accusar. William Beebe faced Liz and ADMITTED HIS GUILT! Now let the courts decide...and I hope all of you defenders of William and who are thereby in complicity with him...find a way to excuse yourself from jury duty in the future. You don't believe in justice anyway.

Is an apology enough?

Lacy,Reedsburg,Wi. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:38:09 GMT

I think, what Liz did, took alot of courage,on her part.I too was raped, when I was 18.I was a virgin, & taken advantage of, by whom I thought, where my friends.They took me with them to Minn.& then got me drunk.I was raped, & the next day, I was teased about it. I was so very embarrased.But, the guy got away with it.It's been 37 yrs, since this happened. I was considered a " bad girl", from the 60's.I then became one, because knowone, would believe me.I was very nieve, & hadn't been told by my mother, or 2 older sisters, what to look out for.I wish, that the guy, that did this to me, was sent to jail.Instead of getting away with it.And everyone saying how he "GOT" a virgin.Like I was another trophy, added to his collection.I've lived with this for all these yrs, & it has affected me alot.I want to speak out, that although it may seem ok, the past should "come out of the closet'.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:38:58 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Shawn, Everett, Wa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:41:20 GMT

I feel terrible for the victim. As a recovering AA I simply want to make the point that alcohol is the main perpetrator. This man is attempting to make ammends and whether he does time or not, I applaud his courage to step forward. Everyone involved is obviously toremented.

Is an apology enough?

Is their justice for women in America, Hopeful, USA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:41:58 GMT

Do you people spank your kids when they do wrong? Even after they apologize? Why? I thought God/Jehovah/Proverbs said, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." I guess William's parents didn't believe in spanking. When he apologized, they just forgave him...even if he raped the little girl down the street.

Is an apology enough?

Kim, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:42:53 GMT

THANK YOU, ASHLEY H., FROM MURFREESBORO TN!!! BEAUTIFULLY SAID, AND NEEDED!!! I knew God told us how to set up governments in the Bible for man to be held accountable here on earth for breaking laws, commiting crimes, etc (I just couldn't find it to quote it correctly) I also know we need to forgive, and I know we all answer to God when we die...but my point is for those who say Liz is not a Christian when she says she HAS forgiven him but still she wants to see justice done? It maybe time to dust off our Bibles and read so we know what we are talking about.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:43:45 GMT

Susan Russell,
You write very well. I am not up to date on VA 'stuff' but you are well read and it shows in your writing.

Is an apology enough?

Mary Manley Longview,Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:43:58 GMT

Being on both sides of the fence and a woman I agree with Liz.I was sexually abused and raped,I tried for years to push it back in my memory and pretend to go on with life, it resurfaced in my late twenties,I was a mother,with a wonderful husband,abusiness,attending college with a 4.0 average and all anyone could want, living the all American dream and I changed.,it was if I was being dragged back into the past, and an internal war was waging, I turned to alcohol to calm the internal struggle I did not know how to cope with. After struggling for many years to forget I too joined AA, even though I was the victim not the perf.I made amends to many over the years for the harm I caused, nothing quite this serious, those steps 8 & 9 are there for our benefit, and it is up to the receiver, as to how they accept..When I learned of my attacker's death, I revisited and met him at the funeral home. In the state of Texas the statue of limitations had expired, and I could not procescute him and the others were dead.Would I prosecute if I could Yes. The fact that this man walked free living his life and was never punished for his wrong, and died with his family and others paying respect to a rapist and a drinker, with no regards to his actions in life is sickening. I stood in the small state room at the funeral home and I swear I could hear him call my name.To be raped, and fondled over and over is devastating. My life was changed forever, and my direction changed. I felt as if I could never measure up, dirty, ashamed, and fearful. At the age of 53 and sober for over 13 years the nightmares still continue.I have a whole different view of things, and live alone, working trying still to learn to live life, and accept not any of this was my fault. I find through my painting and writing I can let go and express many feelings.Many of us will never see the day we can bring our attackers to justice, but justice hopefully for those of us who cannot will be handled in the ever after.To those, such as Liz, who are given that opportunity,she is courageous, and made the right decision.

Is an apology enough?

Mary Manley Longview,Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:44:00 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:45:36 GMT

All good points, Elizabeth Roe. Ditto, all of it.

Thanks to Kim in Ohio :)

My heart goes out to all of the rape survivors that have posted here.

Is an apology enough?

P. Kidd, Toronto, Ont. Canada — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:46:39 GMT

I find it very disturbing that so many of you live in the middle ages and still find ways to blame the victim! Liz was only a 17 year old GIRL and was very likely, it sounds, drugged. But, that is besides the point because no matter what the situation or under what circumstances, does it give anyone the right or give them an excuse to rape another individual. Throughout history woman have been blamed for being raped or attacked because men couldn't help themselves. She was "asking for it" because she was wearing something provocative or she was drunk or high or whatever. How sad that men are seen as being so incompetent that they cannot be in control of their own actions and not held accountable for them. How sadder still that in today's world women can still blame other women for crimes committed against them. I am very disappointed in you. There is no "I'm sorry" big enough to satisfy Liz that is true because "I'm sorry" are only words and cost the guilty nothing. Her rapist, and I use the word "rapist" because that is what he is, must serve the time for the crime that he committed no matter how long ago. He can go to jail and be sorry there. It is through Liz's actions of seeing justice done that she will hopefully be able to move on. It will not give her back the years that she has lost but, perhaps it will give her the future that she deserves. Those of you who think that she should forgive and forget have no idea what you are talking about. Unless you have been sexually attacked, you cannot truly understand to what depths that it can touch you and how it can change you. Why must victims forgive and forget? The power is in seeing justice served and then putting the event into its proper place. The healing can only begin then as we try to incorporate it into our lives so that it is manageable and doesn't become all consuming. Those who never see justice done, if they are being honest, always wish that it had. Victims want to be validated and told and shown that what was done to them was a CRIME not a unfortunate event. Stop blaming the victim or judging their methods or actions. They are the VICTIM, they are not on trial. All the blame rests at the feet of the guilty. The truth and justice shall set you free. The rest of you, get with it, it is 2007!

Is an apology enough?

Stella — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:48:11 GMT

Trish, Orem, Utah writes: "I am a Psychologist and when she says she has forgiven him, I don't buy it. Actually, people who forgive move on. And when she says that maybe this will help her move on, my experience with others who have been harmed is that this will not. She is still very vindictive and angry and she wants retribution. Only be truly forgiving will she move on. She has harbored resentments all of these years, when she could have healed. Healing is a choice and it's ours."

Trish, what is wrong with prosecuting a rapist? Why should he get off? Personally, I think Liz came off very well on the show. I don't think that prosecuting your rapist gets in the way of healing, rather, helps the healing. You say she wants retribution. She wants JUSTICE.

Is an apology enough?

Holli, Owensboro Kentucky — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:48:41 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Jill, Brevard — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:48:45 GMT

Why did she not go straight to the police? That is a stupid question coming from a stupid person.

You evidently do not realize how traumatizing rape is. it can take weeks, months, even years to admit to yourself that you were raped. Do you know how hard even uttering the word RAPE is to someone who has been raped?

Do you know it took me three years to say the name of the piece of Sh!t who raped me?

Do you realize that going to to the police immediately means you have to go to court, have to face this person who violated you? That you have to relive the whole thing?

Do you know that most rapes go unreported?

And for those of you who believe rapes always involve drugs and/or alcohol - you are so, so very wrong.

Is an apology enough?

julie darien il — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:52:22 GMT

I can not believe what some of you people are saying about Liz it makes me sick.Nobody has the right to touch your body no matter if you are drunk or walking down the street naked I don't care they don't have the right.I am so sick of men thinking it is ok do to whatever they want then just walk away.Do you have any idea what that does to a 17 year old girl.As a parent that was the second worse phone call a parent can get is hearing there child on the other end of the phone telling you that they have been raped. I can not believe how uncaring you people are.

Is an apology enough?

Mary Manley Longview,Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:53:01 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Rape IS never OK — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:55:29 GMT

Is an apology enough?

stephanie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:56:19 GMT

Hello????? she did report it, (to the school) her parents knew and did nothing.......... The point of the show, was to ask if an apology was enough? Evidently, it should have been, otherwise they should have sought him out immediately and brought him to justice then!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:58:07 GMT

Why is it so hard to forgive? I probably should have acknowledged the pain and anguish but I still think we become a much better Society as a whole if we are more open minded rather than vengence minded. Jehovah has a funny way of 'gettin' back' for us. The fellow led a full life of failure. That doesn't sound fun to me. Just because you're free (from Jail) doesn't mean you are Free. Here is a frightening thought, there is no one sin greater than another. Every sin has the same weight. To end, she does deserve to be Listened to and Heard and our patience too (speaking for myself).

Is an apology enough?

Holli, Owensboro KY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:02:45 GMT

So many of you should be ASHAMED of what you wrote and even thought. How dare you blame the vicim. It is very obvious that rape has not affected you or someone close to you or you would be patting Liz on the back for turning her letter and emails into the police.
I have a friend who would love to receive an admission of guilt from their attacker so he would have to pay for the hell he has put her and the people that love her through.
Liz is very lucky that she is able to stand up and take her power back from Will Beebe.
First of all, she did not ask to be violated. And no matter what some of you think, just because she went to a frat party doesn't mean she asked Will Beebe to spike her drink and take away her innocence. She could have been walking around butt-naked and sloppy-drunk and that still would not give Will Beebe permission to take advantage of her state of mind.
Hold your head up proud, Liz, you are doing the right thing.
PS......I'm sure if any of us were going on television for ANY reason, we'd be trying to look our very best and not trying to dress the part of a hobo.

Is an apology enough?

DeDe NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:02:58 GMT

Mr. Doe,
Does Jesus teach us to be judgemental? If you were raped would you cry? If you were to research the reactions to violent crimes you would know that this is common.

As for you so called dress code, "Shame".

Is an apology enough?

Donna Bennett, DeSoto, MO. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:03:05 GMT

Obviously there are few responders who have been violently raped. Even if there are no black bruises a man can still hold a woman down and rape her. (Been there!) I don't think I would have the Courage Liz had, but I understand how it just doesn't go away. I pray that she and others do get peace from knowing their rapist was punished somehow, and I think this man will be able to put it behind him as well. I was amazed that he had the remorse he did have, most men console themselves by saying "she asked for it". This program will help many people, I believe.

Is an apology enough?

concerned — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:04:31 GMT

to Sara from GA
how long ago did this happen? have u thought about going after the school? religious people seem to hurt children a lot.

Is an apology enough?

Katheryn, Boynton Beach, Fl — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:04:43 GMT

I wish I had the courage 34 years ago to file charges against the man who raped and left me to die, if not for some woman who found me and took me to the hospital and saved my life. I was just 16 and at a friends apt. pool when a 21 year old man asked my friend and I if we wanted a coke to drink, I thought I was safe it was daylight and I was with a friend, the last thing I remember was drinking the coke until I woke up bleading the man acted as if nothing had happend. He even showed up at the hosp. the next day as if he was my friend. I had not heard of date rape drug for 20 years or understood what he was trying to do to my mind by showing up at the hospital. I was so afraid to prosicute for fear of the very coments I have heared hear tonight. I felt stupid for putting myself in the sitution as if I had asked for it some how. No one asks to be raped an almosted killed. I wish I had the courage to have come forward as this woman had. I think I would have felt that he had paid for his crime and that he was truely sorry for what he did so I don't think I would have prosicuted. But then i did'nt have the courage to do it 34 years ago. I have moved on and have tried to forget until shows like this remind me and all the momorys come back, it brought me to tears. I have suffered with low self esteem and depression off and on since and tried to commit sucide when I was 16. You try to forget, forgive and move on but it changes you forever. No one can know what it is like unless it happens to you.

Is an apology enough?

Reggie, AZ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:04:52 GMT

Yes, I certainly believe that Liz did the right thing. If it is not implicitly written in “The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous”, surely the advisors inform the participants that apologizing for their wrongdoings does not in any way guarantee that they will be forgiven. Nor does it guarantee that they will not suffer the consequences for confessing said actions. A truly repentant person should be prepared to take ownership of both the actions and the consequences. I felt, that Beebe's plea agreement was completely self-serving, and not to help Liz heal, despite what he would have us believe.

It seems to me that kudos should certainly be given to the state of Virginia for ensuring that there are no statutes of limitations for felonies. Had Beebe committed the rape in one of several other states, Liz would never have received justice. Those of us who live in other states should be petitioning for similar statute changes. Otherwise, travesties of justice will continue.

Finally, for those of you who think Beebe received a harsh punishment, I have one adage, “If you cannot pay the fine, do not commit the crime.”

Is an apology enough?

BARB, CINCINNATI, OHIO — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:07:51 GMT

To Trish, Orem, Utah , you say you are a pychologist. I would never, ever go to someone like you. How are you treating people when you judge someone from an interview on tv and already come up with a conclusion about a victim. Maybe you only treat the perps and have lost sight of the vitims. I hope all your clients read this and understand your lack of compassion. As for you others who stand in judgment of this woman.... she said she reported it to the college, she said she went to the hospital, she said she went to help out a friend. So what she drank, I don't care if she was walking naked down the street, NO ONE has the right to touch you. Are you saying the every naive teenager who puts themselves in bad situations deserves to be raped? If you have kids you better hope that they don't go out of their dorm and the rest of you, I hope you don't walk down the street with a button down or in shorts....you may be asking to be victimized!! Girl, you don't have to hate the crime but love the criminal.... PUT THE RAPIST IN JAIL WHERE HE DESERVES TO BE!!!

Is an apology enough?

Susan R., Newport News, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:09:29 GMT

Stephanie -- Your comments indicate that you are frustrated with the parents lack of action. Parents can only do so much. Check out the website: www.uvavictimsofrape.com. It's a true account of what really happens at UVA when a sexual assault is reported. Whether it's 1984 or 2004, the result is the same.

Is an apology enough?

A friend of Bill's, Sober and Grateful — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:10:01 GMT

Does anyone remember that she was evidently trying to make sense of it all when they were emailing back and forth. What got her was the paragraph where he said, "it was a consentual act, I didn't rape you," which told her his apology was nothing more than a token "I'm sorry." He more or less raped her again when he said that. She thought about it and then acted. She was bullied, rejected, disbelieved, and ABANDONED by everyone that should have protected her when she was A 17-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN WHO HAD A MAN TEAR HER CLOTHES OFF AND RAM HIS PENIS INTO HER BODY. She and her parents were probably confused, overwhelmed and plain decided that no one was going to help them so they tried to get over it on their own. I am also a recovering alcoholic with more than 23 years of sobriety. I have had to make direct amends to people and leave the outcome up to God. Evidently, that is what William is trying to do, and GOD has decided that William needs to go to jail...that is if all of you nonjudgmental Christians out there really believe in God the way you say you do. This is between Liz, God, and William. The state is only a tool that God is using to do HIS will in this case. You people don't know the full story. You haven't walked a mile in Liz's shoes...or William's for that matter. The questions was whether you approve of Liz's actions. You have a right to your opinion, as I do mine, but that doesn't give you the right to judge Liz...and you are judging her...that is left up to God and the Commonwealth of Virginia. Who are you to question His ways?

Is an apology enough?

T Ells, Orem, UT — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:10:43 GMT

For anyone who thinks she is wrong and just using this as a moment of fame, shame on you!!!

There is a Huge incident right now of a man that sexually abused my daughter and a 3 other little girls,and after reading the preliminary report of 27 pages, has abused many, many more through the years. This happen 10 years ago when our daughters were ages 5-9 years of age. They were so young they did not understand but now all being in their teens they know that what happen to them was soooo wrong. They all have lived with the nightmare for years, literally! They all finally came forward, which has been an emotional roller coaster for them and all of our families. He is now sitting in Jail waiting for extradition to UT to finally pay for his crimes. Like our children this women was young and naive. This society has gotten so lax and sympathetic to criminals, it makes me sick! A CRIME IS A CRIME NO MATTER HOW LONG AGO IT WAS!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:11:03 GMT

I am aware that Jehovah said you must obey the Laws set forth but that does take away from our main objective here? Also, who do you think prompted Mr. Beebe to come forward anyway? Only Jehovah & Jesus gives you that kind of courage. Courage to face whatever comes your way.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:14:54 GMT

This reminds me of an incident that my ex-fiance and I disagreed about. A Christian musician who was a friend of his was caught video taping a teen girl undressing at a department store changing room near Nashville, TN around 2004. He was caught by her mother. My ex actually thought his friend shouldn't be prosecuted, saying it was a harmless prank, and that "boys will be boys." The man with the video camera apologized to his pregnant wife (who is a Christian singer), and thus my ex argued that he shouldn't go to court. My jaw hit the floor. That reasoning is utter poppy-cock (i will refrain from calling it what it is in more colorful terms) and one of the reasons why I ended that relationship among others. My anecdote is relevant to this story in that when will the time come when we as a society hold up men as responsible for their behavior in matters of molestation, voyeurism, spousal abuse, and rape? Probably not in my lifetime, and that is a sad state of affairs for our country. The taliban argues for women to wear burqas to no attract men, and they stone women who are raped. Is that really what we want? Ask yourself.

Is an apology enough?

concerned — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:16:41 GMT

"friend of bill"

get ur facts straight the freak never said in the e-mail that it was consentually and admitted to raping her.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:16:49 GMT

To S:

I'm glad God gave Mr. Beebe courage to write the letter, but apparently Mr. Beebe did not seize upon that courage to go confess to the authorities, himself.

Is an apology enough?

JG, Alb, NM — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:17:51 GMT

Here is a guy that knows he has more than one problem. First, he has a history of drinking and has admitted to it as well as the rape. One bad drunk night can scar more than one person for a very long time. My question is, why didn't Liz go after him within days of the crime? All the evidence was there. Although he should be held accountable, putting him in prison now is not going to help either one of them. Dateline didn't do anyone (but themselves) service. Here is how I feel after watching the story: I feel bad for this guy. Why would he contact her 21 years later if he wasn't sincere? Liz can't say that incident ruined her life. I know people that have been through worse and have managed to forgive their perpetrators. What this story told me is that unless your willing to have your dignity taken from you, don't seek for forgivness for something you did 21 years ago.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:18:11 GMT

I am astounded by those of you accusing Liz of seeking attention and judging her for continuing to resent her attacker - especially those of you who continue to reference the bible and those of you who are women. It is that mentality that keeps women feeling ashamed about coming forward in the first place. Not only are you minimizing the horror of what Liz experienced, but your comments are insulting to others who have been raped, such as myself, as well. You have no idea the impact of such an experience unless you have experienced it yourself and you have no right to judge those who have found the strength to survive it. I suggest you count your blessings that you have not had to experience such a thing and stop judging those who have. Thanks to the person who suggested noticing the logs pertruding from these commentors eyes.

Is an apology enough?

YayLiz, NYC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:20:08 GMT

Really, people. What does being Christian have to do with it? Why is religion being dragged into this obvious felony crime. He admitted in his letter, emails and pled guilty.

Are we saying Liz Seccuro is not a Christian? Why assign anything to her? She is a rape victim, you terrible posters. Don't you think she'd rather be on television talking about, oh, just about anything.

You people disgust me. He wrote her that letter TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL BETTER, JUST AS HE USED HER YEARS AGO TO PLEASURE HIMSELF. I hope she takes them all down.

Is an apology enough?

stephanie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:21:05 GMT

Susan,
Okay, so help me understand? This incident happened on a college campus and the only people that could bring action against the alleged attacker was the school? A rape is a crime and the local police should be contacted.

Is an apology enough?

Unbelievable, It's none of your business who I am and where I live. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:21:55 GMT

Ashley, thank you for making the point that many people believe that men are unable to control their sexual impulses and therefore all responsibility for the actions of men rests with the women with whom they come in contact. Uh, I thought we were all civilized human beings, with access to education,psychology, medicine, OH AND INSURANCE COMPANIES PAY FOR VIAGRA BUT NOT BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.
We must be deluding ourselves then, if we claim that we are a society of competent human beings who can reason out and make right choices and good decisions. No, you say, it was Liz's fault b/c at 17 she should have known not to go to a frat party and not to trust that there wouldn't be a date rape drug in her drink because after all, men have no self control. Well then, get out the burkas, make mine purple!

Is an apology enough?

Rhoda Rothstein. Fairport, NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:23:39 GMT

I feel sorry for this woman & what happened to her, however was she so naive or just plain STUPID to go on a tour to see the dorms? I'm sure she knew what the consequences would be after she was alone with this boy after being @ a party where there was drinking going on. Didn't her parents tell her anything before she left for college?

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:25:39 GMT

To S:

Funny how Mr. Beebe did not seize upon that "courage given him by Jehovah" and TURN HIMSELF INTO THE POLICE. Because he was being selfish, that is why.

Is an apology enough?

A Jehovah's Witness - "Shame" to you DeDe — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:25:50 GMT

DeDe,
What does "As for you so called dress code, "Shame"." mean? I know what the reactions to violent crimes are. I never passed judgement on her, (if it appeared so, I am Sorry for the miscommunication) simply noticed a confident woman walking down the street who is saying she is hurt. I don't deny her pain, just trying to figure out why Mr. Beebe is not worthy of forgiveness. Lots of people have done bad things but are we a Society that says there is no Redemption?

Is an apology enough?

FriendofLiz, Rhinebeck — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:25:56 GMT

Stephanie....she was told the City Police didn't have jurisdiction. Lied to! They covered it up. So she reported it to Campus Police, who did NOTHING. When you're 17, wouldn't you believe the Dean of Students?

The fact that there even IS a website www.uvavictimsofrape.com is so disturbing. Rape culture there!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:26:37 GMT

Whatever his reason, at least he did it.

Is an apology enough?

DeDe NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:26:39 GMT

YayLiz,NYC Great entry, I'm not sure why religion has been introduced into this. Her religion whatever it may be is for her to deal with not us.
Her rape, her choice, time does not always heal.

Is an apology enough?

Leslie, Topeka, KS — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:26:49 GMT

Oh Rhoda, and you were so brilliant and wise at 17?

Is an apology enough?

freedom, nyc — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:28:54 GMT

Rhoda - she was drugged. And this "boy" is an admitted rapist. Why blame the victim? She was with others at the party, others who she probably believed would look out for her. She was 17 and admittedly sheltered and naive.

It's shocking how many women want to hang Ms. Seccuro for doing the right thing. They hate her because she's successful and pretty.

Is an apology enough?

JMc, Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:30:37 GMT

For all you "saints" out there who wouldn't have 'put themselves in Liz's situation' ... good for you! But for those of you who admit to being, or having (in your youth) been, a little less 'holier than thou', and happen to realize that you escaped a similar fate ONLY by the grace of GOD (or whomever you may choose to call your higher power) ... AMEN!

Most of the comments here were made by women, and it still amazes me how women are sexual assault survivors' worst critics. It's a self defense mechanism that tricks us (women) into thinking, "If we could just find SOME way to make it the survivor's fault, then what happened to her can't happen to me!" So, we tell ourselves: "she shouldn't have been at that bar/party/house/etc."; "she shouldn't have drank that drink"; "she shouldn't have been wearing that outfit"; "she shouldn't have been jogging alone" (even though it was broad daylight); "she shouldn't have invited that friend in"; "she should have known better". Why do we think this way? Why not think: "he should have kept his hands to himself"; "he should have listened when she shouted 'NO!'; "HE should have known better"!? NEWSFLASH: rape is about power and control, so it won't stop by us blaming the survivor, but only when we begin to place blame squarely where it belongs: on the perpetrator!

To those of you asking why Liz didn't bring charges 21 years ago: I'd imagine that it was for fear of hearing more of the very same hateful comments many are making now! Perhaps at 38 she's a bit stronger and more prepared for them than she was at 17. But, with comments like those posted here, it's amazing that anyone reports rape at all!

It sounds like many of you had the TV on mute, tuned out at some pertinent parts, and/or were only hearing what you wanted to hear (i.e., anything that would make you dislike Liz). Did you miss the part where Beebe intiated contact in the name of HIS recovery (without any regard to how it might effect Liz)? Or, how about the part where Beebe ADMITTED he raped her?!@ Did you also miss the part where he lied to her and told her that he was the only person in the room, but later -- and only when it became advantageous to him -- offered information on others who may have also raped her that night in exchange for a sentence reduction?

Whether Liz lacked the knowledge, courage or stregnth to bring charges against Beebe 21 years ago, I applaud her decision to bring them now, as well as the laws of Commonwealth of Virginia which make it possible (since most states' laws are not as generous with regard to the statute of limitations on rape). Liz, fight YOUR fight, YOUR way!

For those of you preaching "forgive and forget," I pray that you NEVER have to walk a quarter-mile (much less a full one) in the shoes of a sexual assualt survivor!

Is an apology enough?

stephanie — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:32:07 GMT

Friendofliz
Thanks for the clarification.......
I agree about the website, it's very disturbing indeed! I too have a daughter attending a local college and pray that our family never has to go through anything like Liz's ordeal.

Is an apology enough?

Lucille F. Phoenix Arizona — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:32:37 GMT

Liz did not have any business at that Faternity party. She bought all of what happened to her on her self by making very poor choices. She needs to let go and let God. She has become a very bitter and hostile woman. I do not believe for one moment that she has forgiven Mr. Bebe and I would be curious to know how much money she is getting out of this deal. I believe its a money and revenge thing. Liz get a life. Move on!! Go to church Sunday!!

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:33:50 GMT

Rhoda: she went to an all-girls Catholic school. I don't know how much sex ed she got from NUNS! Of course, it must be the nuns fault, or her parent's fault. Anyone but Mr. Beebe. Come on. This was pre-meditated rape. He drugged her for goodness sake.

Also, I went to a party a year or two ago, and there was drinking. I drove a guy home because he was drunk and I was sober, and I didn't want him to have an accident on the road and maybe kill someone. He invited me into his apartment. I said no and dropped him off at the curb and bid him good night. He could have raped in in my car, but NO MEANS NO. He was a gentleman, took no for an answer, went in his house, and I'm sure had a nasty hangover the next day. Fratboy Mr. Beebe should have taken no for an answer and looked somewhere else to get laid. He chose not to and almost ruined two lives in the process. I hope healing can eventually come to them both.

Is an apology enough?

Shawn, Everett, Wa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:35:27 GMT

A:

AA Step 8 says "made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." He harmed the woman, not the authorities. He put the ball in her court, admitting, in writing, the harm he had done. At that point it is her choice to prosecute or forgive...and he is leaving it up to her and God. She did with it what she felt she needed to.

Is an apology enough?

Kim Mosley — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:35:41 GMT

I not only support what Liz has done but would like to say THANK YOU !!!!! about 2 years ago I started waking up in horror,sweating horribly,screaming - though nothing was coming out & I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me. One night I woke up but had a picture of a person who babysat for my Mom when we were little. I called my Sister crying asking her about this guy & she said, Kim- dont you remember what he did to you ? I was just beside myself. For years, I had issues with my Husband,Kids,depression & NEVER knew why, til then. I am here to tell ALL of you who are being so hateful that I was about 8 years old when this man did this to me. I am 42 today & I JUST remembered what happened to me 2 years ago. When I was 15, I woke up 1 night to a man sitting on my chest. Yes, I was raped. I did go to the police who had the nerve to ask ME what I was wearing when this occured??! No one was interested in the fact that this pig violated a 15 year old girl. Nothing ever came of that..... Although I truely believe that what goes around comes around & about 9 years ago I was told that this man had been murdered. His Mother was my Foster Mom & she told me of his death. I have always lived my life & have NEVER given this person ANY of my soul. Even though I had struggled with what had happened to me earlier in my life- which caused me depression- I had NO knowledge of what the babysitter did to me, until the dreams & then my Sister told me. For Liz I hope you will find the peace you deserve. For everyone who talks so hatefully, Ide like to ask how many of you have been raped? Really nice to be able to judge someone & something you dont know- or have NEVER expierienced. I personally wish that the man who is now dead would have written me & that I could have brought charges on him NOW- cause then, no one cared. As far as the babysitter, I have no idea what has become of him- but Rodger, if you have seen this show, I hope to God that everything you have EVER done to violate anyone- has come back to bite you. I forgive & have been blessed in the fact that I have always had the ability not to allow anyone to take any part of my soul. I am who I am today because everything I have indured has made me very strong. Good luck, Liz.. :-)

Is an apology enough?

Leslie, Topeka, KS — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:37:13 GMT

Well, Lucille's comment just reminded me that you can drag a horse to water, but you can't make him drink...or as one comedian says it, "You just can't fix STUPID!"

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:37:36 GMT

Unbelievabale,
You have great Insurance!
Ashley,
Mr. Beebe must have known she would go straight to the authorities, in which she did. It's just plain common sense that when you admit guilt, comes consequence.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:39:30 GMT

Mark my words, I'm not saying Mr. Beebe is not worthy of being forgiven. All humans can be forgiven by God, even the likes of Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer, Sadam Hussein if they come to Christ. HOWEVER, NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE PRESIDENT (the most powerful official in America), IS ABOVE THE LAW. Forgiveness does not mean letting criminals roam freely on the street. On can forgive in the heart and prosecute in the courtroom.

Is an apology enough?

Laurie Wilmington, OH — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:40:26 GMT

I feel that it took alot for this man to write and confess what he had done to Liz after all of these years. I think he has suffered as much as she has over the years and I commend him for standing up to what he has done. I feel Liz if she were a Christian person would be able to forgive him and move on. I feel Liz is out for publicity and stuck on herself!! Seemed to me that she wanted to be in the "limelight ." If I had of been raped I surely would not have wanted to "air" it on national tv for everyone to view. Liz needs to forgive this man and move on with her life and her husband and little girl.

Is an apology enough?

Jane Doe, Mississippi — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:41:33 GMT

Leslie, What I really like is the fact that all of these bitter, hostile, WOMEN, who claim to be Christian, are so discerning that they can tell everything about Liz and her motives from watching her on TV. They need to work for the CIA...they are really smart and oh so sweet and loving themselves:)

Is an apology enough?

Judy D., Ontario, Canada — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:42:36 GMT

Mr. Bebee has paid for his crime with 22 years of alcoholism and the loss of his life because of it. What a shame that Liz can not be more forgiving.

Is an apology enough?

don't ask where I live, Big Brother — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:43:55 GMT

Has anyone else noticed it's "The Year of the Apology" and we're supposed to just let Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Isaiah Washington and now, a rapist just walk off with an "Oh, gee, I'm sorry" and a trip to rehab.

I am sickened by the women on this board excusing a rapists' actions. You need help. It's terrible. I hope Ms. Seccuro doesn't read this vitriol. Her struggle seems tough enough. You are the ones in need of help!

Is an apology enough?

JG, Alb, NM — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:44:14 GMT

If you shop in a bad neighborhood, are your chances of being a victim increased? If you put yourself in risky situations, are your chances of being hurt increased? One time I was involved in an auto accident in Japan (other driver at fault). The insrurance company said, "you're 20% at fault for being there". Did I feel that was fair? At the time no, but when I look back, I was going to rent a movie and now it makes sense to me. Every story starts out like this: she was a scholar, a beautiful girl that had the rest of her life ahead of her, then out of the blue... Women, if you don't want this to happen, don't go to frat parties. And if you do, don't drink and dress provocatively. Oh, but she should have known that, after all she never got an A-. She is just another femenist that wants blood. Men you all need to practice virtue and stay away from femenists like that.

Is an apology enough?

Christian and Pro-Liz — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:46:04 GMT

Why is is that "Christians" are writing the most hateful comments towards a rape victim? That isn't what my Christ would want.

Is an apology enough?

Unbelievable, It's none of your business who I am and where I live. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:48:20 GMT

Ashley, Thank you for saying what I've been trying to say. You hit the nail on the head!

Is an apology enough?

Liz,Lumberton,NC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:48:57 GMT

While i was reading some of the comments from some very disturbed people who had sympathy for the rapist and not the child that he raped years ago,i asked myself; if it had happened to anyone in their families would they feel the same way?In my opinion he would need to be punished had it been another forty years.As long as they are both living and breathing,it would still link them together.He proved himself to be a liar too,because when asked to confirm her recollections as to whether anyone else had been in the room during the assault,he initially said no. Now at trial he has changed his mind.Anyone that believes he deserves anything less than what he asked for when he RAPED this woman should know that they might find themselves in the same situation as she did so many years ago.

Is an apology enough?

Mark, Ohio — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:49:52 GMT

I believe she was raped. I also think she had a chance to bring him (and others) to justice when it happened, but chose not to. She also had a hand in it (not that she deserved to be raped) but why would some one drink something (willingly) when they don't know what it is. I believe he was drunk and did something very stupid, but why after all these years would she want to pursue it. He tried to reach out (for his own benefit) to make thing's right. I just don't understand why she would want justice now and not for the past 21 yrs. If someone would do that to my daughter, I would not sleep until the creep was off the streets. By her not taking action (when it happened), she could of caused someone else to be harmed by this man or group of men. Taking action now just doesn't make since to me. I feel sorry for her and what she has been through, but I can't help but to feel sorry for him as well. Maybe if he was convicted of his crime when he was a teenager, he could of gotten help (in prison) and both could of put this behind them. Now, she's re-living it and dragging her family through it as well. If it was dealt with yrs. ago, maybe she, her daughter and husband wouldn't have to go through it now and maybe the evidence (when they had it)would of put all involved away where they belong, so they could pay for their crime when it happened! I don't blame Liz at all, just wonder why she and her parents didn't damand justice from the law and School.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:51:42 GMT

JMc,
We are all "Survivors". All of us experience pain and to each of us, it is greater than anyone else can ever understand. Some of us are Survivors of Drug Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse & Physical Abuse. None of us can really understand anothers' pain.

Is an apology enough?

Kim Sierra Vista, AZ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:52:25 GMT

Ive already sent 1 comment, but I forgot to add this... "ONLY" physical? ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!!! ther were a lot of issues I had wth my Husband & never knew why. Although I did has an issue with depression ,I never knew why I did. I was raped 2 times, the 1st I didnt remember til I was 40 yrs old! I was about 8 when it happened. Am I making this up now??? I think not! If I had the opportunity to have the person who did this to me @ 8 prosicuted I WOULD IN A HEART BEAT !!!!!!!!!
COME ON PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU LIZ!!!! :-)

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:54:13 GMT

Dear Rhoda?
Have you ever been to a bar with your friends? If so, are YOU just that plain STUPID? Don't you know that someone could slip a drug into your drink that will could cause you to be raped and not even remember what happened? Hasn't anyone told you to stay at home and hide under the bedsheets lest you cause yourself to be attacked? This is not something that just happens in frat houses or to people wearing certain clothes! I was drugged on my third drink in three hours when attending a concert! Are you suggesting that I put myself in the situation where I was raped and it was my fault too? Apparently you've never been invited to a frat party - maybe that's why you are so vindictive - have you ever been to a concert? I hope and pray you don't have a daughter - my father was horrible, thinking it was too small of a town - that something like that wouldn't happen there - that I must have lost my pants and had bruises on my face for some other reason! Thank god I didn't have a mother like you as well!

Is an apology enough?

Geri,PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:55:38 GMT

I would have to agree that no one can really know the effects of being raped-at such a young age--and as their first sexual experience--or could they imagine the damage that it causes. Sadly, the women that have had to endure this trauma can't imagine what it would be like if it never happened. You never get that innocence back. Instead the effects becomes part of who you are. But it isn't only the attacker that causes damage, but the other people in you life--family, friends or authorities--that can that can deepen the burden. Why aren't the college advisors,et al--accountable for thier responsibility. For that reason alone I think this horrible crime should be brought into the the limelight to educate the public and prosecute the guilty. However, on a more personal level--which this certainly is--like so many other horrible traumas that people endure through life, you have to somehow reconcile the damage and find some peace within yourself. As I watched this story, my own young experiece flashed through my mind, and while I knew the horror, I could not relate to her reactions or decisions. She certainly was violated, but the bitterness is her own doing, and I don't think that justice in a courtroom will relieve her pain. Rape can not be justified, but I can't help thinking how unusual it is for a man to feel such remorse after so many years and even attempt to make ammends. So many of us never got that much--how sad is that. Maybe that's the real news and core of this story. Lastly, I would like to note as a member of A.A. many years, The ninth step suggests you make ammends when ever possible to those you have harmed, unless it would hurt yourself or others. It seems he has suffered with the knowledge of his dispicable act for many years. I hope this ammends brings him the relief he was seeking. And to Liz: a court of law may give you some sense of justice, but humility and forgiveness can give you peace.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:55:55 GMT

To S:

That is bull. Why write a letter to her (as a route to eventually confessing to police) when he could have gone to the authorities himself instead of causing emotional trauma to her yet again? Because he was thinking of only himself and wanting to be forgiven. Also, why did he have his lawyer fight the charges at first? Why didn't he just plead guily before striking a plea bargain. Why? Like I said, he could have confessed to the police, and then written a letter of apology from his jail cell.

Is an apology enough?

Leslie, Topeka, KS — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:56:12 GMT

Oh, because she drank a beer or two, was drugged, was smart and pretty, and still is, she is now a feminist? What is a feminist? She is married with a child and a business of her own. She has guts enough to take down the guy that raped her. Is that a feminist? Well, I guess that covers most of the women in America now. Does your wife work? Would you make her clam up if she got raped? What all of you Liz attackers are saying tells me a whole lot more about you than it does about Liz. And it ain't pretty! Get out the burkas!

Is an apology enough?

DeDe,NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:57:49 GMT

Mr. Doe / Apology accepted but not needed/ This is an open forum and we all have our views. I believe I did take the blouse unbuttoned the wrong way and for that an apology is due. I do not think you can tell all that about her by the way she is dressed and walks, even though there is research on this. Research is not always correct and suited for all individuals. There is only one person who can really know us and we both know who that is. I am trusting when the time is right he will guide her and help her through her healing. But I do want you to know I am a survivor and forgiving has to come in our own time. As for mine I am still healing and serving others in my own way. To let you know just how long effects of crimes can go,my rape was in my 20's and I am 50. In some strange way it made me stronger but this is not the norm. I have made sure my daughters can protect themselves if needed by giving them the choice of learning how to do so. They are both black belts and yes I'm proud and hope they never have to use it.
God Bless!!!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:58:09 GMT

Ashley,
I do not dispute you. He is facing the Law. And Thank You. I appreciate you're comment.

Is an apology enough?

Jen, Reading, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:01:15 GMT

Ashley - you are SO right. If he was so remorseful, why hire a high powered Defense and fight this thing. It's been over a year and he just pled guilty mere days before he was due to go to trial. That doesn't sound like remorse to me. He should have thrown himself on the mercy of the Court and spared Ms. Seccuro further distress. How hateful and spiteful this self-serving man is. He's raping her over and over by fighting the charges!

Is an apology enough?

Jen San Diego, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:03:07 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:04:17 GMT

Ashley,
Does it matter? He is paying for "Sin" now.

Is an apology enough?

Kurt M, Klamath Falls, Oregon — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:04:46 GMT

This woman was 17 when she was raped? What was she doing at a college party getting drunk. Obviously she was looking for trouble. Not that raped is okay, because it's definitely not. I think she's just dreaming this up to be much larger then the case may be.

Is an apology enough?

LeeAnne Alberti Courtenay canada — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:05:10 GMT

absoloutly u people where are u at when this make s u think that the people who are the vicitims are judged I'm amazed!!!!!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:05:37 GMT

Ashley,
That should read "Does it matter? He is paying for HIS "Sin" now."

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:07:41 GMT

He's fighting the charges because he is scared to death as well as he should be.

Is an apology enough?

Jenna CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:08:26 GMT

Watching this show I was moved that a man would step up to the plate and have the courage to admit not only to himself and to god what happened but also to admit it and apologize to her. I am sure that there was definitely some misconduct on his end but her obvious bitterness, hatred, and unwillingess to forgive will ultimately tear her apart in the end not him.-Signed friend of Bill W.

Is an apology enough?

Kate, Kerrville — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:09:50 GMT

Thank God that this is all coming out in the open now due to the media and the technology that makes it possible for us to express our views and know that we women are no longer alone in this. I've seen some pretty sick comments here, but I've also seen overwhelming support for Liz and thoughtful insights from both men and women. When I was 17, if I had been raped, I would probably have killed myself. I wouldn't have known to go to a hospital. I knew that the police always sided with the man b/c I had seen my friend's mother beaten by her father and the police do nothing. I would have been too ashamed to tell my parents or friends b/c we never talked about "things like that" back then. My mother and father wouldn't have known what to do. They would have been worried about the neighbors finding out. But thanks to blogs like these, the media, and good, intelligent people, girls like Leslie now know to go to the police and they know it is NOT THEIR FAULT and that NO MEANS NO. God Bless all of you.

Is an apology enough?

Amrit, San Francisco, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:09:52 GMT

I think of Liz as a role model. I am so proud that this historical case will in fact change how rape is viewed to people who hear this case. I'm so proud of Liz for being so brave, courageous and responsible to all females past, present and in the future. I commend her for her strength and her sense of commitment to making sure justice is served. By you vocalizing your story and by seeking justice, you have advocated for many victims in a huge way and I thank you for this.

Is an apology enough?

Geri, San Diego, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:12:15 GMT

Anyone who gone through such a violent attack really doesnt forget. I was 20 when I was raped at gunpoint by a stranger. All he got was a few years. Thank God I dont see him. I watch my back, makes sure car doors and house doors are locked. I even married but have a dog to protect me when my husband is on travel. So for Liz, I understand and yes her attacker should do time. He raped her. And for those of you out there who disagree, think more if it were your sister or daughter or even YOU who would go through such an ordeal.

Is an apology enough?

Kheri Taylor-Milos, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:12:18 GMT

It is my opinion that Liz is a very courageous woman to go forward in charging this man. Her decision is likely not very popular and I applaud her for making a tough choice to face criticism, skepticism, and cynicism. I sincerely hope that she is able to walk away with her head held high, knowing that she has taken a stand to make the world a better place. Rape is rape, even if it happened twenty years ago. And it is still not as acceptable to speak about it now as it should be.

Is an apology enough?

Jackie W — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:14:01 GMT

I wonder how many of these comments come from "Christians". The ones who are not supposed to judge others. They are casting stones at someone who is doing the right thing. Liz deserves justice. Why wouldnt she? Just because a guilty party feels bad for their wrongs, does it make it ok? Liz, I hope you pick yourself up and carry on with your head held high. You deserve it.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:14:48 GMT

DeDe,
I do understand the LIFE LONG EFFECTS of abuse very well. I still suffer too (that will never go away). I am only saying that for me, the best thing I ever did was to forgive. It doesn't work for everyone. And You Are Correct When You Say, It Must Be On Our Own Time..

Is an apology enough?

Jane Doe, Seattle, WA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:14:54 GMT

I felt sympathetic for Liz, however her attitude was just cold. It could be from being raped 22 years ago, but I think she seemed as if she was doing it for the camera. As if she wanted to seem like look at me now "I've been Rape, Now look at"...I think her attitude in front of the camera was appropriate. As a woman I feel for her for being raped. As a human being, I really hope she finds it in herself to be less self absorb.

Is an apology enough?

Susan Smith — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:15:07 GMT

Wow, what a vindictive harpy. She can't even admit that she hasn't forgiven the guy--which would not be an issue if she hadn't openly lied about it. She seems to have wrapped her identity around being a victim--so she's made the choice to continue her victimhood in perpetuity. He victimized her once; she victimizes herself every day.
This is clearly about attention. She doesn't need to appear on Dateline or People or the local news if justice was her only goal. No, she's a vacuous black hole of a woman who has drug a sad, remorseful guy who has tormented himself for 20 years into her now-not-so-private hell.
Maybe someday she'll apologize to the guy for what she's done to him. Yeah, he raped her. But, when I went to college (earlier than her) there were already a lot of campus resources that warned the women on campus about taking resonsibility for their own safety. She needs to admit her foolishness for having relinquished responsibility for her safety to a bunch of drunken fraternity boys. While that doesn't mean she deserved to be raped, if she had been more responsible, she wouldn't be on Dateline. She really needs to acknowledge that. She will never have peace until she is as honest with herself as Mr. Beebe has been; and she clearly hasn't done that yet. Maybe she will after all the attention dies down.

Is an apology enough?

Rhonda — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:15:59 GMT

Ugh!!!I think I'll vomit now. All you people that are saying Liz just wants fame, tv time, fortune, whatever, (Angus, Fl...Kathy Bennett...Ele Larson..Melinda in Va.....You MAKE ME SICK spouting your evil puke about what a poor BA***** this Beebe is and how it's all about him trying to make it up now. Why don't you all just go and live with him and tell him what a "poor baby" he is and coddle and baby him. My brother RAPED his daughter and no one knew about it until right before she was killed in a car wreck. Part of his "feely good, do good,stay out of the pen, was to tell all the people he'd sexually abused how sorry he was. Yes, I ws one of the ones he had to apologize to. Yea, he's sorry all right. Just like all of you are. I hope every one of you have someone you know or love that the same thing happens to, so maybe, just maybe, you might understand what it's like to be RAPED...does Liz have to forgive Beebe????? That's not for any of you to say, it's none of your business whether she does or not. It's strictly between herself and God as so many people are wanting to quote God in these posts. I feel sorry for all of you and maybe the rest of us should all pray for your souls to get forgiveness for your puke accusing Liz "the VICTIM" of being the one to wrong poor baby, Beebe.

Is an apology enough?

Another friend of Bill, — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:18:43 GMT

I agree Jenna. Some on this blog want to blame the victim. She didn't invite this if she walked in the frat naked. Maybe the man did invite the present day consequences of his honesty, but I applaud it and believe it may lead to his healing...despite what lawyers have him plead when she chose non-forgiveness. I feel for them both, and hope she too can heal whatever his punishment.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:19:39 GMT

Kurt, Just responding to your blog to give you the attenting you must be seeking. why else would you take the time to write such and uneducated remark? Making more of this than it is? YOU HAVE NO IDEA the effects of rape! PLEASE read the blogs from people who were! This is not something that you just get over! Furthermore, did you notice the part about her having multiple attackers! Yeah, she's dreaming it up to be more than it is - gang rape, no big deal, right? As a rape survivor, I take offense.
On the other hand, Kurt isn't the only one writing insensitive emails like this. To everyone who is, why do you feel the need to make comments like this? If you feel like this, do those of us who have been raped a favor, please, and keep it to yourself. Women do not need to be even more discouraged to come forward about an attack because of attitudes such as these.

Is an apology enough?

Bonnie Pierce, Los Angeles, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:22:22 GMT

I am appalled that the question is even asked, implying that it is not absolutely the most appropriate thing for her to pursue justice for the man who raped her. What can MSNBC staff be thinking? MSNBC is vicitimizing her again! He raped her. This was not just an insult, it was rape. An apology is sufficient for an insult, but for a crime, criminal punishment is necessary, not just for the victim, but for the perpetrator and for society as a whole. I am infuriated that MSNBC would even ask this question, and frame this episode so as to in ANY WAY cast doubt upon this woman's courage and her healthy response to her rapist's confession. We in this country are allowing a wildly inappropriate question to be asked when a major news agency and broadcasting network actually produces such a travesty. Ms. Seccuro - may you find health and healing through this process. Many people, including MSNBC just don't get it, but I do, and so do millions of others. Keep your head up, stay strong and focused, and your life will shine for others, as well as for yourself.

Is an apology enough?

unknown, la — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:22:37 GMT

I respect her alot for what she did. It does not matter if he apologized, he deserves to pay for what he did. He could have done it to your mother, wife, aunt, or daughter and if he did you would feel the same. I am glad he feels bad for what he did, but people can not just get away with things if they did then alot of criminals would be on the streets. I know how she feels and you CAN NOT just get over rape, you learn to move on, but you still go through the flashbacks, the feelings of hurt every once in a while. She will forgive him for what he did, but she will NEVER forget it!!!
Thank You Liz...injustice has happened to alot of woman...and some can't do anything about it...you give us strength!!!!

Is an apology enough?

Leslie, Topeka, KS — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:22:49 GMT

Jenna, what you call misconduct was RAPE...he admitted it! He said he was willing to do whatever it took to make it right...well, I guess this is what it takes. Message here--don't rape and you won't go to jail!

Is an apology enough?

Dan Palmer, Van Nuys, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:24:58 GMT

Shame on those blasting Liz. Wait until you're raped and see what effect it has on your life. She deserves justice. If it was a matter of vindication or an inability to get on with her life (as some accuse), she would of been attempting to prosecute and get justice for years afterwards. But as it was she was simply trying to move on and it was the letter that appeared that presented her a choice. She should prosecute. A crime is a crime.

Is an apology enough?

Jim Hill — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:26:11 GMT

I completely agree with what the lady (Liz) did. I think her rapist ought to do like 20 years instead of 2.

Is an apology enough?

s gee, san mateo, ca — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:26:58 GMT

She was RAPED!! She was 17 years old! I am sick of you people who are blaming her. Her body was robbed from her! Hooray for her to come out and share what so many people (both men and women) have had to experience. If we stay quiet - no one will believe, as many of you out there certainly don't. SHAME ON you who think they are 'holier than thou'. You have no clue! Everyone is different - we all deal with our trauma differently. Let her heal any way she can. Thank you for being so brave, Liz!

Is an apology enough?

private — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:28:40 GMT

How insensitive many comments have been. It's quite obvious these writers either have not been victims themselves or are not aware that someone close to them has been. And, believe it or not, someone close to them definitely has-take a look at the statistics.
For ten years my daughter held the secret of her rape in college by three college athletics (She too was a virgin). I wish I had realized ten years ago something abolutely terrible had happened. I knew she was different when she returned home from school, but I never guessed the horror she had encountered. She thought she had escaped the rape because she survived physically,but the past ten years of her life has been controlled by it. She has been exhibiting typical behaviors for a sexual assault victim. She has had an eating disorder, depression, jumping from school to school, job to job, relationship to relationship and even a suicide attempt. It wasn't until last year, she had a breakdown and she came forth with the fact she had been raped in college. The nightmares and flashbacks had returned with great vengeance. Many of these rape victims are diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as my daughter has been. Ms. Seccuro has to be complimented for her strength to stand up, not only for herself, but for every single child, woman and man that has been sexually assaulted. When all victims are respected by the public, then maybe, just maybe this horrific crime of power will cease.

Is an apology enough?

Richie/NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:30:43 GMT

I am amazed that this question even has to be addressed. She was raped, he confessed, time to pay.
Nuff said.

Is an apology enough?

NATHAN JOHNSON, SMALL N. CALIF TOWN ,CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:35:44 GMT

LIZ,

YOU GO GIRL, I THINK IT IS GREAT THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO GET SOME CLOSURE I HOPE IT GIVES YOU SOME RELIEF.I WISH MORE OF US ( THOSES THAT HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED) COULD COME FORWARD BUT I ALSO KNOW WHY WE DON'T. I KNOW WHAT HELL IT CAN BE I WAS RAPED 48 YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS 6 AND THEN GANG RAPED WHEN I WAS 18. AS A MALE I NEVER THOUGHT FOR THE LIFE OF ME I WOULD BE A SURVIVOR OF RAPE. SHOWS YOU WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW. ANYWAY YOU HAVE MY RESPECT AND LOVE AND WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS. YOU ARE ONE BRAVE LADY AND GOOD FOR YOU

Is an apology enough?

NATHAN JOHNSON, SMALL N. CALIF TOWN ,CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:36:18 GMT

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:39:06 GMT

Here is what Insensitivity really is:
Children dying of Starvation EVERY DAY.
DARFUR
The Homeless & Hungry on the Streets
Lack of Acknowledgement/Help of Everyones' Ails.
Tax Breaks for the Rich.

Is an apology enough?

abbotsford — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:40:24 GMT

My husband is in the AA program and so I am quite familiar with the 8th step that this rapist chose to go on. I am also familiar with the one that he did not. The 9th step where it states " Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS." In actuallity this person only did it to make HIMSELF feel better. The act was done out of pure selfishness. It is easy to see in his emails and as well when he went to court. Instead of fessing up he made his victim feel worse. The only reason he suddenly changed his tune in court is because AA programs do not want attention brought to them. I do believe he was given advice by his fellow AA members to do what was needed to hasten the proceedings and therefor he ended up coping a plea. But to a lesser charge of course.

AA is quite popular for this. ESPECIALLY in minimizing the destruction that they cause. The reason being is that they need to do that so they dont feel eaten up by guilt so they can keep going on, never mind how their victims deal with it. I have seen repeatedly how AA has "coddled" their members to the point of lying in court, just so a member will get off. I am glad that Liz spoke out and did not let this AA member off. I feel no sympathy for the rapist and find it sad that he as usually AA people do, try to blame the alchohol for his actions. Alchohol didnt rape Liz.

A man did.

Is an apology enough?

Helen — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:40:41 GMT

What he did 20-some years ago was despicable. What he did now was right. His conscience has obviously haunted him for decades. May he do his time, heal and move on. Let's not discourage honesty and asking forgiveness.

P.S. May our institutions of higher learning involve fewer highs.

Is an apology enough?

Richie/NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:41:27 GMT

JD / Many problems needless to say what is the connection?

Is an apology enough?

Lene, San Jose, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:41:54 GMT

I applaud Elizabeth.
The negative comments from women towards Elizabeth disgust me.

The sympathy from women towards the rapist appalls me.

Being an alcoholic is no excuse for committing a crime.

Since when does being a Christian mean not holding another responsible for the wrong they have done?

Forgive does not mean forget. Only God has the capacity to forget wrongdoing forever. Only when forgiveness is asked for, and only when repented for.

Who are we to judge Elizabeth or Will? None of us can say we have traveled the same roads of terror, anger, fear, self-loathing, shame or sense of loss of either of these individuals. They have both lost a great deal. I would hate to lose 22 years of my life to anything, especially a situation not self-chosen.

Both of these people have been terribly broken - one by his own will, the other by another's will imposed upon them. I will say that from Dateline's report, it appears that Will is much further down the road to recovery than Elizabeth. Unlike some of the other unsympathetic people on this blog, however, I don't believe it is Elizabeth's fault that she's not further along. I believe she has made the best of a situation that, apparently, most of us can't even imagine being in.

I know both Will and Elizabeth have done the right thing. Emotional healing is a choice.

Is an apology enough?

Gary Schenauer, Fernley, Nevada — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:45:31 GMT

She (Liz) was violated. Her attacker finally admitted it. When she reported it, no one did anything. So, now, 20+ years later, she is entitled to do whatever she wants to do. Since none of us had any involvement in Liz's situation, we have no business having any opinion about her or her decision(s).

Is an apology enough?

Iloatherapists, NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:46:53 GMT

By hiding behind the whole 9th Step, William Beebe just follows in the line of "addict" celebrities who commit atrocities (none as bad as rape, mind you). Doesn't the ninth step say "unless it would harm others". SHE didn't ask for him to write to her. She was living her life. Imagine the terror when this letter came to her. Good God!

Is an apology enough?

guess, wrong — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:47:11 GMT

I had a dog named JD.

Is an apology enough?

UY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:47:16 GMT

Angela, Colorado,
Never leave your children, purse or drink unattended.

Is an apology enough?

Bea — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:47:51 GMT

Liz's story has opened up old wounds. I was drugged and raped more than twenty years by a 'friend' of my boyfriend. Although I almost never consciously think about the incident I know it has affected my life tremendously.
I just went online to find out if there is a statute of limitations in the state that it occurred and I will now finally be pursuing justice.

Thank you, Liz

Is an apology enough?

Sarah, Tacoma, WA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:49:58 GMT

Liz has every right to do *anything* legal that she feels will help her recover from the assault. Anyone who feels otherwise has never been raped- its just that simple. You can not explain color to someone blind from birth, and you can't explain life after rape to some one who hasn't experienced rape. Those of us who do know what it is like to be raped support Liz and her right to choose. Its sad to see the views here that Liz "asked for it" and should basically 'put up and shut up' because as a teen she went to a frat house and drank. That position may be easy to type, but it isn't easy to live with ... shall we really amend the laws to say that its OK to rape 17 year olds who drink at a frat house? That attitude would be insane, yet it has basically been expressed here, repeatedly. Liz's attacker is someone who made a mistake early on because of the pain in his own life, who started to try and make amends for that mistake years later, and who found that amends can be tough.

Is an apology enough?

Janice, NYC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:50:35 GMT

This woman has founded a charity, people! She is helping others! We should all have such courage. Why does anyone assume she is profiting from her pain? And NBC is wildly irresponsible by even intimating that SHE is the one with the problem. What if she had been murdered? Do you think if the killer wrote her husband an apology letter, he'd just put it away? SO....because she's alive to tell her tale, she is to be vilified???? Unreal.

I am so disgusted by the comments of hatred on this blog towards a rape victim. I cannot believe this is America.

Is an apology enough?

Chris, San Diego — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:51:11 GMT

Many of you assume Mr. Beebe was indeed sorry when he wrote the letter and that he has lived in pain over his "mistake." How do you know this admitted rapist was indeed sincere and that he has not raped others or done worse things over the years? Many of you express anger and are very critical of this woman simply because she has sought justice for her admitted rapist. Seeking justice and forgiving are not mutually exclusive. If your mother/sister/child were harmed would the timeframe make a difference to you in wanting justice? Even if they said "sorry?"
I think we should hold each other accountable for our actions. Maybe then our crime rate and our culture's sense of responsibility would look a bit better.

Is an apology enough?

hr — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:51:15 GMT

To the supportive AA wife...

"Alcohol didn't rape Liz, a man did."

Do you really believe that had excessive alcohol not been involved this would have happened? Would she have ever gone upstairs? Would he have ever been such a pathetic excuse for a man? I suspect neither would have happened without liquid stupidity.

Is an apology enough?

JW — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:51:38 GMT

I have noticed alot of comments from people from the 'Liz Camp' that keeps referring to people who speak of forgiveness as Christians. I don't recall anyone saying they were a "Christian" Is there such a thing?

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:53:13 GMT

guess, wrong,
dog spelled backwards is God

Is an apology enough?

susan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:55:23 GMT

The only reason why he confessed was because it was one of the steps in AA that would supposedly lead towards HIS healing. The only reason he confessed was because he didn't want the guilt to consume HIS life anymore. If his life had gone the way he had wanted (ie. if he had become a Dr. or lawyer, do u think he would have confessed?? Absolutely not). For all those who literally bashed Liz, u're just looking at the time factor. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHEN IT HAPPENED! As for y she allowed herself to b raped by going upstairs w/ people she didn't know and drinking what she wasn't sure of, some people r more trusting than others (especially someone who went to an all-girls school where the possibility of rape occurring was slim). I suggest u put urself in HER shoes before u judge her actions. What kind of message r u sending to rapists? Just do the crime and as long as u have 20+ yrs on it, u'll gain people's sympathy? But I guess Liz should actually thank all those who have criticized her. Now, she'll feel like she did something wrong towards the ******* (even tho she shouldn't! because she didn't do anything wrong) that she can let go of the feelings of injustice she felt were done towards her and forget about the criminal (yes, that's his proper title and u'd call him much worse if it had bn u under him). And unfortunately for him, he gets to bask in feelings of euphoria that he might not actually have to go all the way to hell. What can she get out of this ordeal--movie rights? Is that y so many rape victims can't find the courage to tell anyone of their plight? There is more embarassment on her part to let the whole world kno. But thankfully for her, after all this, she can enjoy the rest of her life, because 1/2 the world condemned her actions for justice. So, for her sake, this is a good thing

Is an apology enough?

guess, wrong — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:55:41 GMT

Yeah, and the serial killer in New York thought his dog was God and telling him to kill. You aren't God.

Is an apology enough?

Hidingbehinddogma, santa clara — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:55:42 GMT

JW - I notice a lot of people saying hateful things about Liz who claim to be Christian or intimate that she is not. What the heck does any of that have to do with rape? I've seen comments suggesting that if she went to church more, she'd be in a better place. Huh?????

Hey - do you suppose Beebe is a Christian? Does that make rape OK?

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:56:57 GMT

Uh, UY - I didn't. From Colorado, and am well aware of this. Was visiting family in a small town, and must have been someone close to me in the group I was with, someone passing by and did it without me knowing, or else from the bartender even. Not sure considering I did always have my drink with me, but also Not sure why I'm again trying to explain MY actions, as is so often the case with rape victims.

Is an apology enough?

C Young, Chico, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:59:12 GMT

I watched Dateline tonight and I personally feel that it was a tragedy that Liz was raped 20 yrs ago, I just wish that when her attacker had gotten in-touch with her that she had handled it differently. It seems to me that he has paid for his crime by living with the guilt and it is admirable that he came forward to apologize to her. I am not suggesting that her suffering and dignity should be pushed aside and ignored but that it is a shame that she hasn’t moved on by now (assuming that she has had counseling). If it had been me and the attacker had gotten in-touch w/me I would have definitely gone to the police for protection, issued a restraining order and I would not have continued to stay in touch by any means of communication. I don’t think that it is necessary to prosecute the attacker at this point but with the help of the police dept. to make sure that he will not ever bother her again. Forgiveness is so important for our personal well beings and we cannot move forward until we forgive.

Is an apology enough?

C Young, Chico, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:00:07 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Stephanie, Los Angeles, CA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:02:46 GMT

Any person who victimizes another should not be able to go forward without fear of one day being caught. A victim should empower his/her life by taking control of the situation if and when that time becomes appropriate for that person. Liz at 17 or 18 was dealing with immaturity and in 1984 it was daunting to face this crime – it’s daunting now.

This is a case where Mr. Bebee admits he did something awful to Liz. HIS actions certainly speak to his guilt. Although he doesn’t seam to be an awful person, his actions were undeniably awful and unlawful. I would glean from his guilty conscience that he isn’t a sociopath. But, that doesn't mean that he should be let off the hook.

I believe that Liz deserves closure and I also believe that in the end this will be the right decision for both of them. He will pay his debt to Liz and society and she will hopefully find peace.

Is an apology enough?

Margaret, Victoria, BC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:02:49 GMT

It's great to see some voices of reason, common sense and intelligence in the messages supporting Liz Seccuro, especially from Elizabeth Roe & P. Kidd.

I believe that the only other people who can truly, accurately comment - on how Liz has handled this violation of her girlhood, innocence and virginity, and how she has felt all these years - are those who have been a victim of rape.

It doesn't matter where she was, or what she drank, she was there at the frat house to support a friend. Having recently left an all girls' school, she probably had little experience with boys, and was an inherently trusting 17-year-old. Whether she had one drink or five, whether somebody gave her a numbing drug in a drink or not, NOBODY has the right to viciously attack and rape ANYBODY.

It would be interesting to hear from women who have been given the "date rape drug" - Rohypnol, or GHB - and then sexually assaulted. I imagine that close to 100% of you would understand how she feels and be supporting what Liz is doing.

For those of you women with negative criticism for Liz Securro, where is your sense of support, of giving another female the benefit of the doubt? Remember, she had not pursued justice for her attacker for over 20 years, until HE CONTACTED HER LOOKING FOR FORGIVENESS, AND THEN ADMITTING THAT HE RAPED HER.

Liz, I applaud your bravery, your sense of wanting and needing justice, and your pledge to provide support to young girls so that this doesn't happen to them. I hope that every campus across North America gets a wake-up call in not allowing this infantile, violent frat house behavior to continue.

Liz, if you decide to raise money for your efforts against violent sexual assaults like what happened to you, by speaking at college and university campuses across North America, you will be doing a great service - for women AND men.

Is an apology enough?

Kara, Seattle, Washington — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:03:47 GMT

WHY, WHY, WHY do we blame the VICTIM in rape cases? Everyone who is attacking Liz Seccuro makes me sick. You are evil people. Who CARES if he apologized?! He committed a crime and deserves to rot in jail. She doesn't have to forgive him! Why should she? He needs to pay for what he did. All of the disgusting, unempathetic postings on this blog show just how sexist and hateful towards women society still really is.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:04:33 GMT

guess, wrong,
On a serious note, have you ever noticed just how unbelievably loyal a dog really is? Seems to me God is the same way. No matter how big a Jerk we can all be...
I remember (sickingly enough, spelling??) how the Animal Police entered an abandoned aprtment and the dog looked up, wagged his tail and died. He starved to death. I had to stop watching the show, I just couldn't take it.. Still Can't..

Is an apology enough?

Jane Doe, Seattle, WA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:04:54 GMT

In my own experience of sexual manipulation as a very young girl, as awful as the experiences were, the lasting effects of my inability to grow into a strong, confident, mature adult were more troublesome than the acts themselves. For me, the pain of remaining paralyzed by self-loathing, was greater than the pain of facing reality and getting help to get my life back. I will never get an admission of guilt. I know what happened and with help I came to understand that it was not my fault and could move my life forward. I share my experiences quietly with others with similar experiences to help them see how empowering forgiveness is and hopeful the future can be. Apology or not.

Is an apology enough?

Richie/NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:08:47 GMT

JD/ You are in need of help. Sorry!!

Is an apology enough?

Tired of JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:09:32 GMT

JD - could you maybe find a site on pets or hunger or something to post your blogs? This isn't the appropriate tree for your barking.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:10:24 GMT

guess, wrong,
Never said I was, you did.

Is an apology enough?

JoAnn, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:11:44 GMT

And how was it that Liz got on the Dateline show? Her PR person probably called them. Barb in Cincinnati has obviously never been to a psychologist, or she would know that body language speaks volumes, and Liz' body language was screaming unforgiveness. She said she had forgiven him in her "heart of hearts". I don't believe it. If she had, she would not have gone to the police station.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:13:41 GMT

Richie,
I am very comfortable with forgiving my trespassers. I hope one day you will really try to understand BOTH SIDES.

Is an apology enough?

Sybille, Portland — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:14:15 GMT

I, for one, cannot wait to see the next arrest. What will his excuse be? What about the other people there that night who haven't come forward?

This girl has done the world a great service by coming forward. I am sure she'd rather not be defined by this. What a terrible thing to live through.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:15:22 GMT

Tired of JD,
Guess what?
FIRST AMMENDMENT BABY!!!
Are You AMERICAN?

Is an apology enough?

Kirby, Fairfield — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:17:00 GMT

To JoAnn:

I am a good friend of Liz Seccuro's. She does not have a PR person and to imply as much is so very offensive. She was relentlessly pursued by the media when Beebe was arrested and chose to tell her story since they were going to tell it anyway. Jealous much?

She went to the police because the letter arrived at her home and she was afraid for her safety and that of her child. How dare you? Shameful!

Is an apology enough?

DeDe,NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:18:41 GMT

Hey Everyone - Body language, forgiving, not forgiving, her own fault, give it a break.
He raped her.
He confessed.
Time to pay!

Is an apology enough?

Mary/NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:20:47 GMT

JD - Not taking the bait, its over!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:20:55 GMT

The Rape Victim deserves to be heard but what ever happened to reclaiming your 'self'? As an abuse victim myself, healing does not come quickly but very, very, very slowly. Reclaiming your life and taking the power back is where it's at. Those who have actually acheived that knows what I am talking about.

Is an apology enough?

Tired of JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:21:23 GMT

JD - check it - did I say I was taking you to court over it or did I ask you to do us a favor by leaving this site to more mature individuals? Why are you even on this site? I don't get it.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:23:59 GMT

Tired of you As Well,
Because I was born here and I have the same right to be here, just like you.

Is an apology enough?

Michael, Olympia, Washington — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:24:19 GMT

You could just see in her eyes that she is a vindictive, spiteful, hateful person. Sure, she was 17. So was he. He asked for forgiveness. She wanted blood. The lesson here for anyone in a 12-step program is this: Skip steps 8 & 9. She tricked him into a confession, then cold-bloodedly went to the police with his letter. I'll bet she was smiling all the way to the police station. He obviously suffered his whole life after that one incident, but that wasn't enough for her. It's women like Securro that make me inexpressibly glad that I'm gay.

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:25:02 GMT

Tired of You:
Did your Mother ever teach you to be polite?

Is an apology enough?

JD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:27:05 GMT

Mary/NJ,
what are you talking about?

Is an apology enough?

RL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:31:40 GMT

As a young child I too was molested (JD'd) Forgiveness is empowering.

Is an apology enough?

justice supporter, chicago — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:32:06 GMT

Michael!

He raped her. It has nothing to do with AA. Alcoholics don't rape; rapists rape! How has he suffered? Do you think maybe she has suffered? And she obviously adores gay men - that's why she went to the party. To accompany her gay friend who wanted to join a fraternity.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:32:36 GMT

Michael, Olympia, Washington,
After this, it will be rare that anyone will want to make ammends..

Is an apology enough?

Mary/NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:32:53 GMT

Michael, Olympia, Washington

Such strong words. You are for sure entitled to your opinion. I am also glad your gay!

Is an apology enough?

bleeding heart, lexington, ky — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:34:04 GMT

For Michael: "she wanted blood". How about her innocent blood all over his pants, the sheets, etc. Read the transcript. Horrifying.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:37:03 GMT

Michael, Olympia, Washington,
No one wants to forgive anything, it's all about vengence, which is really kind of funny because none of us wants to pay for our sins against others' no matter how fresh or old the wrong doing may be.

Is an apology enough?

JoAnn, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:45:26 GMT

To Liz' friend: What does "jealous much" mean? How did he get her home address? Why didn't she go to the police before she started emailing him? Did she go to the police before or after he acknowledged that it was "rape" and used that word? How dare I? How dare I what? Suggest that she has a PR person? What's shameful about that? Even the Ramsey's had a PR person. One thing you obviously don't understand is that a LOT of people want to tell their story on TV and how are we to know who does and who doesn't?

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:46:28 GMT

Mary/NJ,
It is mean to tell Michael you're glad he is gay. Surely you know just how painful it can be just trying to be yourself? I have been 'cast out' so to speak simply because I speak for the poor and imprisoned whether they be innocent or not. I would never want to be told that my sins are unforgiven.. I don't want that for anyone. We Are All God's Children, All Of Us..

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:48:59 GMT

JoAnn,
Pretty People get on Television, not the sick or poor. Lots & Lots of people get raped, murdered, assaulted somehow and they don't get Prime Time Attention

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:51:55 GMT

My last comment was probably pretty rough. I do apologize for that. I just want people to get the real picture, this is happening every day (crime), mostly to people who have no voice...

Is an apology enough?

Mary/NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:52:37 GMT

Kirby,

I hope Liz does not check the blogs, hopefully she won't. She does not need all the negativity that is written about her. She is lucky to have you as a friend. I wouldn't bother trying to convince people that Liz's intentions are on the straight and narrow. There are to many uninformed individuals on this site. And apparently alot of bloggers who have never been victimized. You and I know that some of them would think different if it had happened to them or someone they love.

Is an apology enough?

Kirby, Fairfield — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:53:06 GMT

JoAnn:

He got her home address by calling - get this - the University of Virginia Alumni Office and he'd been tracking her for many years with their help. Yes, it's shameful to suggest that she hired a PR person to promote herself. She never wanted this to be public but decided it would help others. You seem mad that she's trying to help. The Ramseys hired a PR person because they fell under a cloud of suspicion. Liz was a victim.

She called the Police when his emails became weird and she felt "well, what if he shows up at my door"? She was trying to handle it on her own and was talking to the University when she got the letter, but they were of no help.

Is an apology enough?

Shelley, Henderson, NV — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:58:22 GMT

Why the obsession with whether or not she forgave him? That is entirely irrelevant. We live in a society governed by laws, not biblical notions of forgiveness. Rape is a felony in VA. There is no statute of limitations in VA on felonies. Period. End of story. This predator deserves nothing more than the inside of a jail cell for a long, long time. And spare me the psychobabble about how forgiveness "frees the victim" and how not forgiving "empowers" the criminal. What utter nonsense.

Is an apology enough?

Kirby, Fairfield — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:58:35 GMT

Mary:

You are so right!!! There is sooooo much about this case that no one understands, so much that ends up on the cutting room floor. I have warned her to stay off this blog and she has no desire to deal with this sort of thing. She has a family to tend to and new arrests coming up to deal with.

She has not even watched the piece. Between you and me, William Beebe is a narcissistic, defiant, wealthy man who fought her every step of the way and is still fighting. I cannot believe the crap I have to read about my friend on this blog. I am just shaking with anger. She's wrong because she's intelligent and pretty? I'll bet people would bash her if she couldn't string together a sentence and was lacking in the looks department, too.

She can't win. Thanks for listening....

Is an apology enough?

Mary/NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:59:20 GMT

S,

I do not believe it was mean to tell Michael I was glad he was gay he said he was glad he was also. I have no problem with anyone elses sexual orientation nor my own. Read his blog again maybe it will shed some light on the subject in hand, which is Liz.
Did you miss his point?

Is an apology enough?

JoAnn, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:59:41 GMT

S: You got it. On another note: I'll bet the next AA person thinking about who they should make amends to, will think twice. For the record, I do feel badly for Liz. She has obviously suffered greatly, but it hasn't destroyed her life. She seems to be quite successful. On the other hand, the guy who raped her did a pretty good job of destroying his own life. This will never end for her if she doesn't forgive him, which I do not believe she has done.

Is an apology enough?

Verle Victim, Denver, CO — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:00:18 GMT

Go Liz! I have read all the comments thus far and I cannot add anything new. I just want Liz to know there are many of us out here with similar stories and we would probably all desire a chance to confront our rapist. I, personally, will never be free. I got a life sentence and he goes free. I didn't die but my life is over. The good ole boys club still rules. Sad but true.

Is an apology enough?

Mary/NJ — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:02:47 GMT

Kirby,

Anger will enable ones spirit. Don't stoop to that level, you know the truth.

Is an apology enough?

Paul Shaver, Herald, Calif. — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:04:57 GMT

My hat is off to Liz. Being the brother of 5 sisters and the father of 3 daughters I am a firm believer of meting out justice to the cowards who perpetrate crimes against women of any age, race or creed. All states should make rape a felony with not statutes of limitations and a minimum of 25 yrs. w/no parole.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:06:34 GMT

Shelly Henderson, NV.,
Law is Law I agree but I cannot go without saying, Punishment Does Not Solve The Problem. I Am Not Saying No Punishment, I Am Simply Looking For Answers.

Is an apology enough?

zzz — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:10:30 GMT

Verle Victim, Denver, CO,.
Your Life Is Not Over,
God is Waiting for You..
Speak to Him
He Waits..

Is an apology enough?

Carol/MD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:11:02 GMT

Paul,

Thank you for a mans understanding point of view. I'm a mother of 2 girls and a survivor of rape. Because of such a high amount of rapes in one country,if found guilty of rape, one is castrated. Since that law there have not been many rapes. Food for thought don't you think?

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:13:13 GMT

JoAnn,
Right.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:20:03 GMT

Carol,
Do you REALLY want that kind of "Justice"? If it was your Child who was sick, would you be willing to castrate him/her? I am not making excuses but people must understand that this & other kinds of violent, semi-violent behaviour is not "Normal And Of Pure Personal Choice" and we must address it, Now. I consider myself "Normal" and I have never had a thought of hurting anyone and I have been hurt plenty, plenty of times.

Is an apology enough?

JoAnn, California — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:23:58 GMT

Kirby: I'm sorry that you're angry and upset about the comments of people like myself. Please forgive me. We comment, others respond, and for people like you who happen to know Liz and consider her your friend, reading all of this has got to be devastating. But you had to know right from the beginning that this wasn't going to be pleasant. Right? Why did you keep reading?
Can anybody tell me what "jealous much" means?

Is an apology enough?

living with it daily — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:29:11 GMT

As someone who has been traumatized several times, I say that it's great what she's doing. Many of us will never get to have that closure of seeing our perpetrator pay for what they did to us. Mine is a life sentence. For those who think the people that do these unspeakable things feel guilty or regret what they did, I would say that most don't. It is rare to find one that does. My sentence is never being able to have a fully satisfying relationship with a man no matter how badly I'd like to, living with constant pain and flashbacks, and a whole host of other things. I have been through several rounds of counseling and sometimes that is not even enough. I cannot trust most people. I hope by doing this, it allows her some closure and healing. If she has forgiven her attacker, that's great, but it's understandable if she can't. I know I can't. I don't know if I ever will be able to. Maybe if they reach out to me first and apologize.

Is an apology enough?

Carol/MD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:32:04 GMT

S,
In most instances these are not children, they are grown adults and in control of their own actions. Do some research on the increase of rape crimes in the US in the last 5 years and the assailants ages and status. Nothing has helped decrease this crime of sexual assault. The researh I'm afraid will question your "Normal And Of Pure Personal Choice".

I'm not cruel, I'm not evil, I'm just a woman with a view that is not in agreement with yours. Believe me I do know that my outlook is questionable to many but you have not walked in my shoes or the shoes of my children. You would not believe the journey.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:32:44 GMT

Paul Shaver,
I say the same thing to you:
What if it were your Child? Would'nt you want help from the very Society you contribute and have contributed to for your whole life? I think you would be ENTITLED to RECEIVE HELP FOR YOUR CHILD. I just can't bring myself to exclude people because they are "Bad". What do they say? Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner? I am not saying the offender should not be punished, just given a chance.

Is an apology enough?

Geri, PA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:35:51 GMT

Is an apology enough?
After reading so many more comments, one thing seems pretty clear:
The question is not enough.
One program about one woman who got raped 20 years ago is not enough.
One opportunity for some women to express their private horror and pain is not enough.

We should be asking better questions:
Why are we still debating the difference between between sex and rape?
Why are women still carry the burden of shame and guilt about being violated and abused.
Why haven't we taught our precious little boys how to be decent young men, and what are we really teaching our beautiful princesses?
What is our colleges and medical facilities ultimately responsible for?
and what's the rest of us doing?
And when will we learn that pointing fingers, blaming and passing judgements rarely solve anything.
Maybe when we ask better questions, we can begin to understand the problems and work toward real
solutions.
But for the Grace of God...

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:40:19 GMT

Carol,
Yes I Would. I am confident I would not want to walk in your shoes. You prove my point when you say "Nothing has helped decrease this crime of sexual assault." That is my Cheif Concern, Why? No Amount of Punishment Deters, we need to look at what drives us to do the things we do.

Is an apology enough?

Concerned — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:53:35 GMT

Check this out:

We are born as babies. How do you go from being an innocent child (that we're suppossed to Love & Protect) to the Courtroom (possibly executed)? We stand on the corner advocating ProLife but turn our backs on the starving (be it emotional or physical) right before us whether it be here or across the world. How does that happen?

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:56:15 GMT

I guess I should back to School, I meant "Chief".

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:56:34 GMT

Joanne,
You said that "you had to know right from the beginning that this wasn't going to be pleasant,right?" and I think that statement is a good example of the problem in society and with girls not wanting to come forward or prosecute. They DO know that they can expect such a response. Everyone's interrigating the victims actions or motives, and that is the problem. I think that if society had less of these negative attitudes and supported the victims more, it would be much easier for a rape victim to heal. When people treat the victim like it is their fault, it is like they are being victimized over and over again. It isn't right.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:04:12 GMT

And the word "go" is missing...

Is an apology enough?

Carol/MD — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:04:59 GMT

S,

Wanted to get some information out here to all that do not know about the Rape Exam Process.
Unfortunatly 65% of sexual assault crimes against women do not even make it to court. As a Sexual Assault Victims Advocate it is my job to offer moral support, procedure information and to let them know they have a choice of prosecuting or not and what the steps though the court system will be. If prosecuting they have to have a Rape Kit completed which is, in it self very emotionally draining.

You have to strip and stand in the middle of a big white sterile cloth while a medical professional looks at every inch of your body.

You have STD or AIDS screening.

Blood drawn for toxicoloty screening.

Whether or not to take emergency contraception

You have to have a very detailed pelvic exam, finger nails scraped, vaginal hair combed, have an ultraviolet light scanned over every inch of your body to detect semen. You are photographed, you leave all your clothes for evidence and then hopefully you have some loved one to go home to. She does have a right to chose not to have certain parts of the exam completed but it is not recommeded if you will be trying to prosecute.

My youngest victim I've seen was 8 months old.
My oldest is 86.

That being said I will close for the evening and think of Liz.

Is an apology enough?

Lori/NH — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:17:27 GMT

Concerned,

Your reference of "WE" is incorrect.

We do Love & Protect
I do not believe in execution.
My family works to feed the starving in the US and other countries.
We provide orphanges with clothes, medicine and even building supplies.
We help the homeless
We go on youth Mission trips.

It was the WE that got me!

Moral of the story is if we can all help even just a little, you will be amazed the satisfaction your soul will feel. This does include not passing judgement on another in their time of need.

The subject at hand: Liz needs our support, and she will receive it from my family.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:21:44 GMT

Carol/MD, GoodNight, SleepTight, Don't Let The BedBugs Bite!
Angela Colorado,
The Focus Point should be, Why are these Crimes being Committed? How do we fix it? What is the difference between Offenders and Non-Offenders?

Is an apology enough?

Concerned — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:28:35 GMT

Lori,
Never did I say she was without support from me, nor did I ever in any of my Posts, pass Judegement on Liz. I can't do that, "Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged" ya know. You couldn't be more right about what it does for My Soul to help people.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:30:19 GMT

S,
That should be A focus point, but I don't see why your point and my point need to be mutually exclusive.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:50:45 GMT

Angela,
They're not. When I look at things I see a Multi-Faceted (for lack of a better description) 'Diamond'. In other words, There are many ways of looking at & analyzing data, so to speak. I know you want to punch me for saying "data" but really, this Perpertrator was also a Human Being and at some point in time, a good Child too (I'm assuming, Even if he wasn't, still deserves help anyway). What happened to him to bring him to this point of overpowering some frightened kid? Being Drunk does not cut it for me, he literally destroyed himself over this rape, to repeat earlier e-mails, it goes much deeper than we see on Television.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:54:20 GMT

So what is your take on what you are saying? What do you suppose is the reason that rapists rape? What do you think is the difference between offenders and non-offenders and how do you propose we fix it?

Is an apology enough?

Judith Day, Tucson, Arizona — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:56:17 GMT

I am sickened by the venom spewed by so many people. Rape of anyone of any age is soul murder. I was raped repeatedly as a child. I am 65 and I still suffer from PTSD on many occasions. I will never be the woman I was meant to be. I have had years of therapy with the best people in the field and still I struggle to try to have a "normal life". I honor Liz for her courage and honesty and I pray that she doesn't read all the nastiness presented by so many inhumane, thoughtless, ignorant people. I wish I had never read these comments. While some of them are supportive and appropriate, so many are not. It breaks my heart yet again and saddens me beyond words. The people I pity are all those who wrote the mean-spirited messages. Anyone who thinks that they can just "put this behind you and get on with your life" is kidding themself. I think Liz is one of the bravest women alive and kudos to her lovely husband who supports her!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:06:10 GMT

Angela,
I am not a Doctor. I have no Solution, I am simply stating a very obvious fact, punishment does not work for sex offenders and I am curious as to why. Doesn't it strike you as odd that no amount of time in Prison seems to work for these types of offenders?

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:09:22 GMT

Well then, maybe we need to focus on something we can change, like the way we treat the victims. At least if punishment helps the victims, that is something. And if I am reading your statements correctly, you are indicating that sex offenders repeat their crimes (which is true) so why should we be accepting apologies and leaving them on the street to harm someone else?

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:11:30 GMT

Angela,
To Clarify:
I am for looking for solutions to problems rather than assigning "Sentences". You will never be able to help everyone but the ones' that can be helped should not be ignored. Trying to find your way through a Sea of Deceptive & Crooked People is very difficult but necessary.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:15:16 GMT

First, Let's decide, is he a rapist? I didn't read anything about him but did he rape other women?

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:16:39 GMT

Angela,
Vengence is the Lord's. What can I say?

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:20:09 GMT

WHHHAAAAT? "Assigning sentences?" And you just wrote, "the ones that can be helped should not be ignored" that is exactly what I'm saying about helping the actual victim here. Help who you can. And how is letting him off the hook helping him?
On another note, I didn't notice if you said or not before, have you ever been raped?

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:22:01 GMT

You say "vengence is the Lord's" Ok, then lets throw out laws altogether, huh? After all, what's the point then right?

Is an apology enough?

Angela — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:30:01 GMT

If a person rapes like a rapist, then he's a rapist. So my conclusion would be...yes, he's a rapist.

Is an apology enough?

Just a voice in the wilderness, America — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:33:34 GMT

I pray to God that He gives Liz the strength to carry her stand through to the end! He gave her the courage to bring her ADMITTED RAPIST to justice. I pray that God give her the courage to walk through this sea of betrayal and revictimization by those who should be supporting and encouraging her. And, finally, I pray that God forgive all on this blog who claim to stand for peace and forgiveness in His name while vilifying Liz and offering comfort and support to her perpetrator.

Is an apology enough?

Angela — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:37:18 GMT

Thank you to "the voice in the wilderness."

Is an apology enough?

Understand, Kansas City, MO — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:46:36 GMT

Liz is a remarkable woman. I admire her. She is amazingly brave. Liz was given an opportunity that most women do not get and she sought justice for the wrong that happened to her. Forgetting is not an option and forgiveness would be hard to do when everyday you relieve the vial horrific event that happened.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 09:48:14 GMT

There is something about you that you're not facing. I will pray for ya. My point was and has always been, what if the shoe were on the other foot, what then?? What if you were the one who committed the crime? Would you want someone to help you?

Is an apology enough?

Angela — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 10:03:58 GMT

I think you're the one not facing something: which is my question "were you ever raped?" what if your foot were in that shoe? Wouldn't you want someone to support you? Why is it that you have an easier time putting your feet in the perpetrators shoe than in the victim's shoe? You ask what if I were the one who committed the crime. Then yes, you would need to pray for me. And I would need to do the time if that is what it took to help the victim find her peace of mind. Of course, that would be if I was truly sorry, like this man claims he is. If not, I guess I would care more about my wellbeing and getting off than rectifying the situation as much as possible in the victim's eyes.

Is an apology enough?

Anonymous, Virginia Beach, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 12:37:38 GMT

Liz - Continue your fight. As many know, we are "victims" forever and must strive for "Justice for All" when we often find it is "just us" fighting to survive such horrific crimes.

Is an apology enough?

judy — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 13:13:26 GMT

I am glad she saw it to the end. It also sent a message to those stupid dorm-mates and anyone else that didn't believe her. They were probably a little jealous of her beauty. I don't blame her for appearing bitter! He took away what could have been a truly happy and normal life. He had no right!!!!

Is an apology enough?

melissa, kings mountain,nc — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 13:37:28 GMT

I'm so happy for Liz. There are not many who get the chance to do what she has done.Unless you are a victim of this horrific act of violance you can never know what is like to live knowing someone has done this and never paid price for his actions. I was raped at 13 by a so called friend of the family.I got pregnant and had a baby but to this day he has never been punished. I tried to press charges against this person but the justice system treats you like you are the criminal instead of the victim.I will never forgive him for what he did but i have finally moved on with my life.It was not easy putting this behind me. This affected my life in ways that you cannot begin to imagin. It gives me a since of Justice knowing you stood up to fight for what you believe in.
Thanks from all of us still waiting for justice.

Is an apology enough?

lila fredenburg — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 14:05:13 GMT

Is an apology enough?

Shelby Township, Michigan — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 14:06:23 GMT

Amazing, everyone wants to slam Liz for here anger at the Rapist. Wake up America, are we going to continue to protect the criminals or the victims. Face it, she was raped and it changed her life forever. I’m certain every women (man) out there, that had been raped or even some you know in your family was raped you would feel the same passion for the results, that Liz had to wait for and endure all these years. Lots of comments about here and her destructive nature, well, wake up, would she have been this way had she not been raped? Bottom line, a crime was committed, he acknowledge he had done it, and wanted forgiveness, well he got it, he now has to pay the consequences. God, states to forgive, but he didn’t say that we have to forget. This women and many like her will have to live with this the rest of their lives. This women had an opportunity to get the criminal and all the negative comments come from passive people that want to protect the criminal. America is a sad place when we try to save criminals instead of the victims. As a man, husband, father, veteran, officer and countless other things, but not a rapist, Liz got what she rightful deserved and that was to bring this criminal to justice to face the consequences. God bless you Liz, may you heal in peace!

Is an apology enough?

Chris Eikenberg, Pierce, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 14:32:42 GMT

After reading some of these comments from these men and women I have to say they base the fact that if they have never been raped, had a trama that totally devestated them like having their child raped or children by a known person in trust or they were intrusted to keep safe their loved ones that Liz is not hateful, psyhcotic, in need of psyhcological treatment, assume she is trying to cover the "holes" in her life or any other kind of uneducated nor life experienced episode that would impact a person that had actually gone this type of ordeal or walked through that fire.

You can forgive, forgetting is more difficult; because there is no closure as to why, why you were targeted. Healing is one thing the scar remains forever. I commend the man for owning up for his actions which were covered up by UVA, police at UVA, the hospital etc who then did not put crediance in the word of a woman. HOw far should we backstep (1964) to continue to allow ignorance and ideals surrounding the word of a injured woman, child,or disabled person by allowing such a crime of hate and violence. It is unexcusable for UVA to have adopted or any colleges like CSU for such offences regarding the use of fraternities to excuse behavior by denying its existance.

The attitudes of police on University are controlled by those that employ them as are those in the county. It is not a surprise such a "loss" of such importance is found with any legal "enforcement" agecncy on a University payroll or ignoring hatecrimes ... it is more widely practiced across this nation than it would be to acknowledge and change the practice. In many ways it shows the same cowardice that was shown 21 years ago by the rapist when ignoring the intimidation of the hate crime she experienced and the violation by all involved to down pay it.

Is an apology enough?

Zeb Quinn, Oregon — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 14:53:01 GMT

I don't have a problem with her pressing charges against the guy. She is within her rights. She was the one who was raped and she needs to do what she believes is the right thing for her to do. For her.

But she does seem to be a bit over-the-top obsessed and vindictive about this. I'm not feeling sorry for the raper --he deserves what he gets. It's about her and her mental health. After 23 years it would be expected that someone in her position would've made much more progress in working past these issues, putting them in some perspective.

In wondering about why she had made so little progress that way I was struck by one thing that was mentioned but not really explored: who else was involved? That was one of her questions to him, and it was also made a condition of his plea agreement and sentencing, that he cooperate in getting to the bottom of the full extent of the crime. Who else besides him took a turn with her?

That may be why she is haunted by this incident. It was much worse than one man one time. She may have enough of a memory of it to sense that it was worse, that she was in fact gang raped.

Is an apology enough?

Michael Clifton Park NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:08:25 GMT

I watched Dateline last night about a woman who was raped nearly 22 years ago and still has not moved on with her life and seems to be a very bitter unlikeable person. She wants to hold the man accountable and make him serve prison time. What purpose will this serve society. He currently is not a threat to the community at large and should not be locked up for something that he did as a teenager 2 decades ago. In most states the statute of limitations would be up and there be no discussion of jail time. I think she should suck it up and move on with her life.

Is an apology enough?

Katherine Ginel, Mandeville, Louisiana — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:31:49 GMT

I went to sleep haunted by William Beebe and woke up thinking about him this morning. So much for making ammends. Elizabeth should be ashamed of herself, not only was she upstairs where the men's bedrooms were she accepted a "concocted green drink". Then she "pretends" as if she is accepting William's apologies only to lure him into admitting rape so that she can press charges against him. We all have a certain amount of responsibility in the protection of ourselves. I am not saying she deserved to be raped, however she put herself in a very vulnerable position and now twenty years later she appears to be loving the limelight! William Beebe would have been better off going to church and asking God to forgive him.

Is an apology enough?

Emily, Chicago, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:40:10 GMT

I am so disgusted by some of these comments made. These are obviously people who have never been through this. It's so easy for you to sit back and say what she should have done, but until you have been through it you don't have a clue. I had a freind who was raped our freshman yr of college. She didn't press charges. I thought to myself "If that happen to me, I'll press charges". The next year it did happen to me. He was a huge football player (6'5", 300 lbs) with a drinking problem. That night I had 1 drink, but he had many more. He was even a "trusted" friend. I was too scared to press charges. At the hospital, the Dr. blamed me. The prosecutor told me that being in the position the football player was in, I didn't stand a chance. At best he would spend a weekend picking up trash on the side of the road. An entire trial for him to do that wasn't worth it to me. About 1 yr later, just like Liz, he apolgized to me for it. I was sort of moving on. By him bringing it up, it opened fresh wounds, but I was so relieved that he finally admitted to it. His apology has not helped move on though. I feel like he got away with his still perfect life, while I have this hanging over my head.

It was 10 yrs last weekend since it happened. To all of you who believe that Liz should "suck it up" or "get over it", you don't have a clue. It becomes part of who you are. You can't forget about it. I still think about it. I go through spurts where I have to go to counseling just to live a somewhat normal life. It's considered a "violent crime" by the police. If you were mugged, would you want the person brought to justice?

I admire Liz. She should be considered a role model. I wish I had her courage.

Is an apology enough?

Scott Newman — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:41:52 GMT

Excuse me! But why didn't your segment and Securro give more details surrounding what lead up to the events. You can't judge a book by it's cover! And why, if she pressed charges to get closure on the ordeal, has she quite obviously not received closure??! Is it possible that she needs to learn to forgive an obviously contrite but decent and now responsible individual who recognizes the mistake that he made and has also passed years of torment having to deal with what he did, but has stepped up to the plate with her and even accepted to face criminal charges without rebuttal. Does his punishment need to be this perpetual finger pointing and spirit of non-acceptance and demonization even that he's willing to serve his sentence? Will she and Dateline have to give a perpetual play by play of her emotional recovery progress?? There's nothing here that a little forgiveness wouldn't heal! And why do I have the feeling that this man could have possibly helped her through this with a little more communication and cooperation on her part but she fudged it, in her foolish pride she betrayed the very opportunity that Providence was granting her to close this chapter in her life by making AMENDS with her aggressor, encountering a new inner strength and discovering the value of human life, even when it's found through forgiving another person's grave offense(not that she doesn't have faults of her own! Who knows what's in her closet).Of someone who is still of immense human value. Maybe somebody put something in his drink, too, that night. It's possible! Has anybody bothered to ask him? Her plight, compared to many others especially in the 3rd world countries like Iraq, Darfur, etc. is really not quite as dire as she and Magnus make it out to be. And the question remains why she was where she was that night doing what she was doing and wasn't she carousing a little bit herself, huh, come on, maybe a little bit??!!!! (would she have phoned home about her revelry the next day, I don't think so and if you disagree you're obviously dumber than you obviously think I am!) And if you say she has a right to her revelry like anyone else then like anyone else, she, too, must face the possible consequences of her actions. Come on, you don't even have to go to college to know what happens at some frat parties!! Frat parties can be imfamously precipitace and some would make Jerry Springer blush! I don't condone by any means what took place but she makes it sound like she was stretched on a rack and disemboweled. She can't even remember what happened to her!! No physical pain, all emotional, and she's keeping herself from moving on in life and Dateline/Magnus is capitalizing on it. And that thing with the blood, isn't that what comes out when a woman's hymen is popped? (Hey, I guess those sex ed courses they forced on us in school weren't a complete loss after all!)Let's interview someone really 'victimized' like those being brutally gang raped in Africa without the benefit of 'rubberizing' drugs but who have no voice to hear them cry, so...they just don't. Now that's sad. And they keep going...and they even heal. No justice, no cameras, no stories, no newspeople! Those are the brave, those are the real heroes. Liz, get a life! (Edie, get a job!) I thought the mainstream media had moved on from this kind of emotional protraction of the grieving disgruntled. And what's the deal with having to say the 'R' word?! It's wierd! When one is trying to overcome something or recover, or heal, or move on, or seek closure the idea is to play it down, not harp on catch words that conjure up the most negative aspect of an event. Can you imagine this guy sending her an email that said: "Oh, by the way, I really feel badly that night I raped you?" That's not how one would deem to show a delicate and sincere remorse! Come on! Who are you kidding?! If my best friend's mother died I wouldn't say: 'Sorry about your ole' lady turnin' it in'! That's why in a civilized society we come up with words like 'passing'. It was made to sound like he wasn't using the word because he wasn't facing up to it as such but he apparently has been quite stalworth about the whole affair. Selecting a less concrete noun so not to immediately and callously conjure up the most negative images possible is true charity! It's just ludicrous that I have to take this time to explain it! Maybe this guy really 'liked' her or something and when the opportunity presented itself he was overcome and just took advantage. It could have been a very human failing on his part. On her part, too, because she shouldn't have been there in the first place! There's a proverb that says 'He that loves danger shall fall therein!'. Am I wrong in thinking that she was at an all male club's revelry because she was looking for a good time, or a date, and this guy was too so he 'dated' her without her permission and she didn't want him to 'date' her because she wanted someone else to 'date' her. So to cling to this 'R' word(oooooooo!)makes it sound like it was this violent and premeditated assault when, in fact, it hasn't been proven at all. It's made to seem like it was a premeditated thing like a serial rapist, or something. What ever happened to being innocent until proven guilty in this country, anyway?! There's another proverb that goes 'judge not, lest you be judged, too!' Is it just my imagination or doesn't this sort of thing happen all the time, especially in our universities? So What makes this case so special especially after so many years?! I'm not callous to the legitimate sufferings of others but I've seen others' sufferings so much more profound and these people move on after only half the time that this woman has 'grieved' over her loss of virginity. She has a lot to be thankful for! After all, she obviously has her health, is of a sound mind, I surmise, and she has her whole life ahead of her, so, my advise, Liz, is to dry the tears, forgive and forget, bury the hatchet, and start a program for women suffering from similar experiences. (And my advise to Edie is to illustrate now that you're not harboring subconscious feminist sympathies and for your next segment interview a suffering male victim.)

Is an apology enough?

Tammy Virgili, Shorewood, IL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:46:47 GMT

The complete and utter denial of those posting on this blog is what's truly sickening... not Liz's demeanor, hairdo, or claims of forgiveness. Whis is it that if someone, who commits a violent, sexual crime, says, "I'm sorry," the victim and everyone around her is supposed to say, "That's ok." What if this loser had been indignant and proud in his letter. What if he had said he would go another 22 years without paying the price? Would that then, have encouraged people to believe Liz's story, to support her in her efforts to bring him to justice? Surely it would. But all this crap about forgiveness is really just society's way of avoiding acknowledgement that some of the people we know, sit with at the dinner table on holidays, work with, or love have a dark side that we would rather not know about. As an incest survivor, and subsequently ostracized family member, I see it all the time. "Can't you just pretend like it didn't happen or it didn't matter so that we can pretend, too?" Shame on anyone who thinks that a half-cocked apology can make up for the open wounds and lost innocence. Liz has an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, and an obviously successful career. How dare anyone say that she's ruined her life by not forgiving? She's made a life, in spite of what happened to her, and in spite of ignorant, self-absorbed folks like those who have posted herein. Way to go Liz. I'm not sure if you'll find the ultimate closure that you've been longing for, after the court case(s), but I sure hope you find some comfort in paving the way for future girls who are told to "just let it go."

Is an apology enough?

Justice, NYC — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:47:35 GMT

Katherine:

Perhaps you have never been 17 or at college. Liz Seccuro came from an all girls Catholic school and she was too trusting. Were you ever 17? How dare you spout such hateful things about her and defend her rapist? She didn't "lure" him into anything. She was busy living her life and he wrote to her because his guilt weighed on him. He admitted raping her and she did what a responsible citizen protecting her family would do.

You are obviously not a champion of the human condition. I would hate to have you on a jury if I was raped.

Is an apology enough?

Randall, Costa Mesa — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:51:31 GMT

Scott Newman:

You need help. She was gang-raped, as the story now tells. That's why Beebe cut a deal. She DID start a program for men, women and children suffering from sexual assault.

He was a stranger to her. You think it's OK she was drugged and gang-raped? Do you even know the case? She wasn't "looking for a good time"....she went to the party reluctantly with her gay friend who wanted to fit it. You disgust me. I am a man and I hate that other men like you feel this way. It sets us back.

Is an apology enough?

Beth, Macomb County, MI — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:06:03 GMT

I am still crying. I am going on 61 years old and it doesn't go away. I was raped and beat in 1964 by a man who became my husband 6 months later. I was 18, oldest of 4 girls in a very poor single parent household. My "father" was an alcholic and spent most of his time in jail when he wasn't terrorising my mother and us girls. I begged my mom to help me. I was so afraid of him. Bearing his children and living with verbal, physical and mental abuse, it took me 18 years to get out of this "marriage". The abuse continued even after the divorce and no matter what I did he never was arrested, never made accountable for what he did to me. Two years ago, he was on his death bed and told my children he wanted to make amends to me. I, like a fool, believed time had changed him. What a joke, he laughed at me, made fun of me, this time in front of family. He is still alive, still free and still a criminal. I live this everyday. It is what controls everything I do.
I wish I had the strength that Liz has. I support her totally.

Is an apology enough?

Victoria of Virginia — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:11:44 GMT

Justice represents the crime, not the person, begins and ends with every victim of crime, a criminal case at a time. The viewing public represents shallow minded opinions that promote criminal rights over that of victim rights supported by selective justice. Liz presented herself as an excellent witness when interrogated by the NBC reporter’s challenging questions of doubt, of which set the tone for the story. Another example of the drive by media that directs the story line and decides what appeals to the naïve public at the expense of the story. The second crime to the initial felony was the lack of justice when the crime was reported and cover up by the state funded school. I applaud the Police Chief for actually doing his job in a state noted for selective prosecution, especially when it comes to state owned property. When Liz went public with her story, she represented all victims of crime and not just her crime. Liz is demanding equal justice be served for all. The school should re-evaluate the principals of the founder Thomas Jefferson over that of image that represents tuition money. When parents send their children to school we do not expect them to be raped and murdered nor to learn how to party and drink at the fraternity house. Least we as Americans forget, laws were written to be enforced by a system of public justice and not to be worked out by both parties under the forgive and forget concept.

Is an apology enough?

Casey, Binghamton — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:21:52 GMT

So, to the hateful people on this blog, when Imette St. Guillen went out to a club, did she "ask" to get raped and murdered? You people are so naive and love to blame the victims.

Do you blame the Central Park Jogger for doing what she loves - jogging?

I pray to God I never encounter any of you in a social situation?

Is an apology enough?

Daniel, Nelson, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:23:09 GMT

To Victoria: Amen to that! Chief Longo is to be commended. Charlottesville is very soft on crime. And no one wants to step up to the almighty University.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with accountability in the criminal justice system!

Is an apology enough?

Joy/NV — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:27:34 GMT

S,
If the shoe was on the other foot,if I did the crime I should pay the price.

Raped, left for dead, I can assure you,I have seen my maker in the future and past in this life. Lives hanging in the balance sometimes get a glimpse of what is really important in life..................

When we hurt someone we still have to pay for the crime while society continues to try to figure out where the problem stems from and leaving a rapist or any person that has commited a crime on the street or placing in therapy while society tries to figure out how to heal them will not protect the innocent. For lack of a better way we have no choice but to protect the innocent.

Is an apology enough?

Adel/MA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:33:04 GMT

Scott,

It is said that dumb attract the dummer.

Liz is doing what she has to do, protecting the assaliant in normally what most of society does. I am a Sexual Assault Victims Advocate I have seen things you could not imagine. Youngest victim 8mth
oldest 86 hope you never have to go though it.

Is an apology enough?

Vio/AL — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 16:41:05 GMT

Scott,

Innocent until proven quilty? He confessed, duh.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:03:50 GMT

Is an apology enough?

JRW — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:06:46 GMT

Hey, look everyone. Liz had every right to go to the next step and contact the police after getting his admission (one that she probably would never have gotten had he not wanted to face the guilt he'd been carrying around for 22 years). What those of you are failing to see and admit is that Liz is just about the most unappealing "victim" I've ever seen. Her righteous and indignant rationalizations for her attitude, that are now out there for everyone to see, are the result of her willingness to sensationalize the story by putting herself on an hour special on TV. Most folks would have no hesitation in fully siding with her desire to seek "justice" had they not been subject to her vengeful demeanor. I had a hard time looking at her and listening by the end of the hour. It was like finger nails on a blackboard. If you put yourself out there in this kind of spotlight, you'd better expect to be scrutinized for what you say and how you say it. And please, to somehow think that this will bring some kind of "closure" to her 23 years of agony is shear and utter nonsense. It's my guess that the reaction she's currently seeing to her on-air performance and the enormous amount of vengeance she's now carrying around will prove to be worse than what she's experienced the past couple of decades. An this will be taken to her grave.

Is an apology enough?

Robin — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:18:11 GMT

I feel sorry for both of the people in this story. I don't claim to know what I would do in Liz' position. I think she was truly a victim and feel terrible for how this crime has impacted her life. I agree that if she can truly forgive her perpetrator, she may find a new level of peace. However, I also think that if she can channel her anger in healthy ways such as helping other victims of rape to deal with their ordeal that she would be doing a good thing. What really bothers me is the "judgement" that is being thrust upon both of these people. Why must we "judge"? That isn't our place at all. I have empathy for both of these people. I feel that justice should be done with regard to Mr. Beebee, however, I also believe that he has suffered by having to live with the guilt of what he did. He was also a young man and while that is NO excuse, he has had to carry around the shame and guilt of what happened. My hope for him is that he will come completely clean and expose any others that were involved in this crime so that all involved can put this behind them. The time has come.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:47:51 GMT

I am absolutely dumbfounded by the comments made by Scott Newman. Seriously?? Also, Mr. Beebe did try to fight the charges at first. If he truly wanted to accept his punishment, why did he not turn himself into authorities before ever contacting Liz? What if he had raped a man? I doubt we would even be debating the question of whether the victim should have gone to the police. If I were raped tomorrowby someone, should I not tell anyone, and suck it up? Unbelievable. You obviously have no compassion for Liz, and that is a shame. To some of the men on this blog who think rape is no big deal: just think about someone ramming an object with 170 lbs of force in your behind, and then you might get a bloody picture of the pain and suffering that women go through who are victims of rape. A friend of mine who was molested as a child by a relative still cries whenever she is intimate with a man, because the physical sensations from the abuse come flooding back. She is not a vindictive person, has been in therapy for years, is a Christian, but the abuse still haunts her to this day. The good that has come out of this program is that I have decided to volunteer with the local rape crisis center here in Murfreesboro, because from the looks of it, rape victims need all of the support they can get because the wolves (like Mr. Newman) in society are ready to tear them apart, as shown by the attitudes of so many on this blog. Also, since when does wanting to prosecute an admitted sex offender make someone a feminist? I like justice lover better. Heck, call me a feminist justice lover if that means standing against rape. I do applaud Mr. Beebe for having a conscience-at least he finally did admit that others had been in the room and had participated in the rape. Thank you, Liz, and good luck to you in testifying against the others who raped you that night.

Is an apology enough?

Ashley H. Murfreesboro, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:54:03 GMT

JRW, if you read Liz's friend, Kirby's posts, you will find out that the media was going to tell Liz's story with or without her permission, and Liz chose to tell her side rather than let the media do it for her. She didn't want it to go public, but that she felt her story may help others; plus she has already started a website to provide support for others who are victims of sexual abuse and rape. I say Liz is doing the best she can and it's going to be a long hard road for her to completely heal.

Is an apology enough?

Cheryl Matrau-Farneti, Herndon VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:07:09 GMT

I applaud her courage in seeking justice. I applaud Dateline for doing the story. In 1986 at Frostburg State, my freshman semester, I was raped in my own room in the middle of the night by an out of town acquaintance of a woman living across the hall. I reported it in less than 24 hours and no one believed me because I had been polite to him the day before when he was allowed to crash in our room due to space issues. The campus police interrogation of me lasted hours, and the rape exam on top of that destroyed any remaining sense of self worth I had. He said it was consentual, and they never charged him due to insufficient evidence despite the physical damage done to me. I dropped out of school - there was no switching rooms or 6 week hiatus due to illness back then. I found out 7 years later from a new friend at the time that he had been caught in the act of raping another freshman, a friend of hers, in a different state. I felt no justice, I felt no closure. I felt guilt that I didn't push harder for the charges though I had done everything I could have, that someone else had a nightmare somehow I should have prevented. I've had therapy, I've found joy, but it remains. Forgiveness doesn't grant you back the years it takes to rebuild a life and sense of worth stolen from you. It doesn't make magically pleasant the blood, sweat, and tears in the middle of all those days and nights to heal. If she seems cold or reserved or fake to some people, that's unfortunate, and it's obvious you've never had to strengthen yourself in the wake of so much pain. In a man it's called being stoic.

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:07:52 GMT

Joy,
I know what is really important in Life. Life is just not black and white for me. The innocent will never be protected from people who want to hurt them. This Country is not set up to really look at people until something has happened. It seems to me that for the most part, people like Mr. Beebe are looked upon by Society as 'just a drunk' who did it to himself. We are not looking at the people sleeping on Streets and sticking needles and such in themselves to 'forget'. Why? Why are they drowning themselves? I'm betting that someone from their past really hurt them Really Really bad and either they will continue that thread (abusing another) or kill themselves via drink, drugs, life of crime.. A Very Vicious Cycle. How many other people have done wrong and has chosen the path to self destruction? I have never said that people should not be held accountable, I also never said that any victim, be it from Abandonment, Neglect, Hunger, Drugs, Physical, Sexual, etc., not be allowed to feel ALL of the Feelings associated with their pain. I just happen to believe that Everybody is a Child of God's wether good, bad or ugly.

Is an apology enough?

kelly, rocklin ca — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:24:02 GMT

Just curious, but when the guy says "whatever punishmnet you see fit" in his apology letter was he expecting to be grounded or have his weekly allowance taken away? To not actually own up to his actions at the trial was a joke! It's apparent that the guy apologized for his own benefit not hers. Liz deserves justice just as much as the next person and I'm glad she's going after it.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:42:30 GMT

S,
Self destruction is one thing - destroying someone else is another. And it does seem that you are saying that people need not be held accountable - at least not by the law, and you do not seem to be validating the feelings of the rape victims at all. You also seem to be preaching on a subject that I still do not know if you have any credibility for - you never answered the question if you have ever been through this; because the fact of the matter is, unless you have, you have no clue about this situation and what Liz has dealt with. I worry about you having a daughter, because if I was your daughter I would not feel safe coming to you for help after being raped.I would keep it to myself for fear of being hurt even more by your comments and rational.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:01:22 GMT

Even though rape victims know in their head that it was not their fault and that they do matter, somehow those feelings get lodged in the subconscious and do affect your life, sometimes without you realizing the connection for a long time. The experience of having a flashback I think proves how these feelings stay with you subconsciously. Flashbacks do not come from dwelling on things, they just come up all of a sudden and it isn't like having a memory resurface like you might think - the emotions of terror or humiliation come up - without visual memories of the attack even - the feelings don't just disappear or get resolved and even when you think they are something triggers them and they come up again. I think a feeling that may not always be as intense as the feelings of terror and humiliation, but is also intensely connected to the trauma is the feeling that you don't matter. Again, this is not something we think intellectually, but something that has been almost enscripted into us at the time of the assault. The problem with all these comments that blame the victim or support the perpetrator is that it reiterates the rapists message - that he matters and you don't.

Is an apology enough?

Diane O Spokane WA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:09:59 GMT

While I feel empathy that she was raped, she made a choice to place herself in a situation that she should never have been in in the first place. Not to excuse the actions of the man who raped her. However, she chose to hold on to bitterness and not forgive at some point and she chose to not allow joy back into her life. I personally feel that she should have forgiven him once he sought forgiveness. Forgiveness is a Christian principle and a healthy one to adopt. Quite frankly, from what I viewed of her, I don't like her. I simply cannot imagine holding on to bitter anger so long that a person allows it to destroy her life. This man made a bad mistake, as we all do in our lives. Not one of us escapes making bad mistakes. He went through a personal hell and tried to turn his life around, and one of those pieces was to ask forgiveness. Shame on her for doing what she did in the end. She takes absolutely no responsibility for anything in her life it seems.

Is an apology enough?

Jason, Austin, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:10:57 GMT

At first, when I started watching your program I was full of compassion for this woman. As the program continued, however, I began to realize that what ever happens in her case, it will never be enough for her. I also began to sense that she has embraced and even relished the fact that she is a victim. It seems being a victim is her identity. By forgiving this man who did this horrible thing, she would be losing her identity, and so she never will forgive him. The man did a horrible thing, but what more could be asked of him 22 years later? He took full responsibiltiy and she is still not satisfied. Finally, I must have missed why she or her parents didn't report it to the police 22 years ago? I thought while UVA didn't handle it correctly, that her and her parents bear most of the responsibilty for not pressing charges year ago. In the end, I think she needs to cleanse or herself of her bitterness, and that has nothing to do with whether he or even more people do more prison time.

Is an apology enough?

Susan, Erie, Pennsylvania — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:18:29 GMT

Good job, Liz. Thanks for standing up for yourself and for all of us who have been in your shoes. I was raped at the age of 14 and unconciously buried the 'incident' deep. So deep, that I did not realize I had been raped, even though a pastor friend told my husband I had been raped. At this point, I was in my late 30's. When I was in my mid-40's I went to counseling with my husband to save our marriage. That is when I wrote a vague paragraph about 'that day'. The counselor told me it was rape. When I looked back over the years I could see the signs and symptoms of rape, such as 'withdrawal, pseudo-maturity, low self-esteem, early sexual promiscuity, unprovoked crying spells, secrecy, suicidal thoughts, suicidal feelings, suicidal attempts, depression, insomnia, memory blocks, overly critical attitude, GUILT, SHAME, self-destructive behavior, inability to say no, among others. If you see these things in yourself or your children or spouse or even parents, you can suspect rape or abuse. I had the good fortune of working with this same counselor for nearly 2 years. I read 'Beyond the Darkness' only one chapter every week or two and wrote notes about how I felt and what I went through. Then I went to the counselor and I let him read what I wrote (some things were way too personal to share) and we talked about it. Thank God for this man, thank God for the healing. It is my personal feeling that these abusers/rapists should spend the 30 years behind bars that it takes most of us to deal with this victimization. We can and do heal, but we are never the same. We have been robbed of so much.

Is an apology enough?

Dallas, Texas — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 20:42:10 GMT

I feel weird about this story! I feel bad for Liz for all that she has gone through. I can relate to the effect it has on your life. But my question is , Will there ever REALLY be closer?? Probably not! That is who you are now, or at least a part of who you are. He came forward, which I cant say for many others, and is accepting his consequence. Even if it is years later! One problem we have today is College and school is majority party. Now being an adult and looking back on life I can see places I have put myself in, that could have resulted bad. Thats why we need to ALWAYS be aware of our surroundings, and NOT take drinks from an unknown person! EVER!! Not at a College party, a bar...anywhere. We need to be responsible for ourselves. Another issues is the public eye. I understand that Liz wants to Speak out, but People Mag?!?! Why not local, or at college's?? People may begin to wonder if she is doing it for the wrong reasons?!?!?! I know I am!

Is an apology enough?

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 21:05:23 GMT

Angela,
I get that clearly. I do agree that if we stand up and acknowledge things, it would be greatly beneficial for all. Also, I know I would be very upset if he were to contact me. It was someone I knew personally, not a stranger. I'm not even sure I can say with conviction that I have forgiven him, I probably haven't. I would like to have someone beat him within an inch of his life while I watch if you want the truth. I just can't keep hanging onto that feeling of fear and anger continually. It does re-surface, always unexpectedly for me. I'm grateful that I'm calmer now and it doesn't take over my thoughts all the time now. If you couldn't guess, I go to Therapy. It's extremely important you get one that knows what their doing.

Is an apology enough?

Matt Miller, Bronxville, NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 21:25:11 GMT

I was immediately turned off by Liz Seccuro's melodramatic acting, although I don't deny she was raped. She just seems to blame everything in her life on that one event, and sure, I imagine it was a bad time for her, but we all have tramatic things in our lives and we move on and become stronger from them. We don't mope and whine about it for two decades. With all her organizations she started, camps, publicity, magazine and television interviews, she seems to be profiting very nicely. By the looks of it, some would say that the incident was the best thing that could have happened to her.

Is an apology enough?

Jody, Seattle, WA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:14:31 GMT

I think Liz should read Les Miserables and ask herself if she wants to be Jean Valjean or Javert.

Is an apology enough?

Ilsa, Rye — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:15:59 GMT

Matt Miller!

Are you saying that she's profiting? I just checked her organization and it only donates funds to qualified 501 c 3 organizations. Television and magazines do not pay for interviews.

What a misogynistic pig - you must be friends with the rapist. Did you go to Deerfield like him? Bronxville, eh? You don't seem to being doing too badly yourself.

Hate mongering fool.

Is an apology enough?

Ilsa, Rye NY — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:19:45 GMT

I think another good point to make is that perhaps she is speaking out since these things never go to trial, and if they do, victims are treated terribly on the stand.

Perhaps by utilizing the media, she's allowing a voice for all victims. Here we have a guy who got away with it once via the University, then he admits it in letters and emails and it's STILL hard to prosecute, I am sure.

Wonder when the next guy will be arrested? That will be interesting. To me, that is the most interesting part. Beebe is a liar and covered up the gang rape aspect, then got a nice tiny deal for himself. He's either the stupidest or the smartest criminal alive.

Is an apology enough?

Angela, Colorado — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:25:04 GMT

S,
Thank you for your response. I'm glad you found a good therapist. I haven't felt that it was that beneficial to me but maybe I'm just giving myself all the credit for the progress I've made and don't see the connection to the therapy I received. Could you share how therapy worked for you (for example, if it helped you trust people again, what process in therapy helped you get to that point?) I'm not explaining my question too well but hopefully you understand. I tried EMDR and I'm not sure that did anything - it seemed bizarre for me, although I've heard other people say that was helpful for them. I'm wondering what it was that helped you get to that better place through therapy. I'm rather reluctant to try it again and was just curious more about your experience.

Is an apology enough?

Sue, Utah — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:26:53 GMT

Beebe.....you must have turned out to be a wonderful man, not the boy you were 21 years ago. It was a bad mistake for you to let her know who you were. I am a woman and women are "vindictive" not forgiving. If you would have let it go, she would not have had the opportunity to go on Dateline! and shame on them for having her expoint herself,her parents and daughter. Pray for her, I don't think she needs help, I think she knows exactly what she is doing!!!

Is an apology enough?

Kirsten, Charlotte — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:36:20 GMT

Julie: what?

He confessed, admitted, was arrested and pled guilty. How is this not a rape? Please explain! How is she phony? Did you not see the same show I did?

Is an apology enough?

Susan R., Newport News, VA — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:53:23 GMT

I stayed online for awhile last night - and waited for much of the day to pass before checking back to see what has been written in this blog. It would be fair to say that most bloggers have never been victimized, nor do they understand the judicial system. This attitude reminds me of a conversation I had with a state President of NOW (I choose not to mention which state). We were discussing the issue of campus crime and during the conversation, this woman (an obvious feminist because of her position with NOW) made the comment that she had a daughter in college - I asked her how her daughter felt about this issue, and she responded, "We don't discuss this - she's not dumb enough to get raped." Why do I mention that in this blog? Because all of you who have written that "a 17 year old girl, drinking in a Frat House, should expect trouble" are narrow minded. The reason that these type of crimes go unpunished are because of this narrow-minded attitude that causes the Victim to be further victimized .... blaming her as the cause for the man's criminal behavior. I would have been interested to know if Beebe had written any other letters of apology to any other people in his past? Was he sorry for any other heinous crimes that went unmentioned?

When a crime has been committed, shouldn't the University be held accountable and the case thoroughly investigated? Dateline left many issues out of this segment that I believe are important to understanding how a University deals with sexual assault. This case would not have resurfaced 20 years later IF the University Dean and campus police had done their jobs properly and followed the letter of the law.

Although it has been explained, once again I remind you that the local police could not become involved in the investigation because they lack jurisdiction on the campus, so saying that her parents should have gone to the police was not an option. Currently, if you have a child at the University of Virginia, and the rape occurs in on-grounds housing, the campus police are responsible for the investigation. Even IF the parent demands that the local police be brought in, UVA can refuse. I know this from personal experience. As absurd as that sounds, that's the way campus crime is handled on many campuses across America. That's why many states are pushing for adoption of "Robbie's Law".

In addition, Universities will do all they can to pressure students to remain silent. A federal law called "The Clery Act" was passed by Congress and makes it illegal for a school to coerce a student into silence. Yet if you are 17, and you are told by the Dean of Students that if you share details of your sexual assault case with anyone, you will be brought up on Honor charges, you believe that the school will follow through. I was told in 2004 that if I printed the outcome of my my daughter's case on my website, that she would be brought up on Honor Charges and face possible expulsion from the school. If the University threatened me to remain silent in 2004, they surely threatened parents back in 1984. But sometimes change happens - in the spring of 2005, after several weeks of this issue being debated in The Hook and the Cavalier Daily, nearly 500 students staged a Silent Protest and ultimately forced the UVA Administration to change their Confidentiality Policy.

So, did Liz do the right thing? Absolutely. The University continued to do wrong when they compromised her family's safety by giving this man her personal information so that he could track her down. She had every right to contact the police, and thank god Tim Longo did for her what he cannot do for most victims - and that's get the guy charged. Should she have gone public - yes, because twenty years later, her alma mater is still turning a blind eye to rape. People have written that she should let it go and move on - well, she did. When Beebe chose to re-enter her life for his own well-being, he upset the dynamics of her move forward. The media seized on the story - it made for great news. Does she deserve any negative comments about this publicity - absolutely not. She has been through enough. Forgive him? Who cares if she forgives him? I want to know that the judicial system is handling the case properly.

(read more about UVA at www.uvavictimsofrape.com)

Is an apology enough?

Kathy Stevens, Maryville, TN — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:57:35 GMT

I wish the guy who attacked and tried to rape me when I was 14 1/2 yrs. old would write and appologize so I could go to the police and have him arrested. It happened over 30 yrs. ago, and I am still terribly effected by it. I don't even know who he was. It doesn't matter that it was so long ago. I've been effected my whole life. I often wonder if he ever felt bad about what he did. I still remember each and every scarey detail as if it happened yesterday. I still have nightmares. I still cry. I thought he was going to kill me. The only other people who know how it feels to go through something like that are other victims.

Is an apology enough?

Amy, Charlottesville — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 23:06:08 GMT

Susan R - you nailed it right on the head! This is about Campus Safety. I did a little research and it seems the Clery Act isn't always adhered to; even at a publicly funded institution like UVa. Private universities probably fare far worse.

I live in Charlottesville and have been following the case for a long time. What people don't understand is that Beebe was arrested over a year ago and justice takes a long time. No one in Charlottesville ever dares take a stand against the almighty University. Good for Chief Longo!

I am sorry a website like yours even has to exist and sorry what you and your family went through, which seems so similar to Liz's story.

Is an apology enough?

Bud — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 23:20:06 GMT

Sharon,
We are all different in nature, personality, etc. etc. Healing comes in its own time.

Get over it? Doesn't fit in here. Sorry you are so misguided.

Is an apology enough?

Jacquie B., Las Vegas, NV — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:38:07 GMT

Having been a victim of rape as well as a sober member of A.A. for several years now, I am able to see and understand the feeling and emotions on both sides of this story/reality. Unfortunately, the world is not lucky enough to have 12-step program such as A.A., which gives people tools to use in order to live a new way of life if they so choose to use them. Having been a victim of rape myself, I went through various stages of "Grief"... anger, sadness, loss, etc. However, I learned through the program of A.A. as well as Therapy to forgive my attackers as well as myself. I, too, in the case where I was raped and my virginity was taken was in a position where the person had been drinking. I commend Mr. Beebe for his deep and heartfelt amends. However, the 9th Step in A.A. also states, "Except when to do so would injure them or others". It's sad to me that whoever his Sponsor was failed to remind him of that (i.s., causing his Victim, her family, and himself) damage. I feel, as a member of A.A. there were other things he could have done to make amends. Also, his Victim, in my opinion, obviously needs serious Therapy, it obviously is much deeper that this one incident. Trust me, Ma'am Mr. Beebe certainly has paid his price just as you have. He admittedly said so in his e-mails which were shown on Dateline to you as he spoke of the Rape haunting him every day since 1984. I would only hope for such a letter from my Attackers. I think this man has definitely paid his time. I think you need to ask God(or whatever) you believe in to help you find it in your heart to find forgiveness. Remember, I, too was a victim of the same. Today, I am NOT a victim, but somebody that can share my experience, strength and hope with others.

Is an apology enough?

Texas Lady — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:46:17 GMT

I am curious about the "friend" who took Liz to the party, then chose to leave her with the other boys. He seems to have just dropped out of the story at that point. Did I miss something here? He admitted that he wanted her to go to the party with him so he would be more likely to be accepted by the fraternity. I have to wonder whether he may have brought her there as a sacrificial lamb in order to advance his standing with the frats. Did she ever discuss the events of that evening with him? A date is supposed to stay with the lady and see her safely home. He abandoned her to go off and smoke marijuana with the frat boys. Has anyone called him to account for his behavior?

Is an apology enough?

Sorority Girl Who Gets It, College Park, MD — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:51:20 GMT

Texas Lady: I agree. I am sure, had there been a trial and not a guilty plea, we'd have all heard about the "friend". Sad thing is, she probably hung around, afraid to walk home alone, waiting for him, while he tried to be accepted.

Is an apology enough?

cleansober, denver — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:54:09 GMT

Jacquie B - you are from Las Vegas. While I think AA is an extraordinary thing, I cannot help but think you are one of the many AA friends clogging the blogs to defend your friend. And that's fine. But your friend committed a rape. Rape has nothing to do with addiction. Rapists rape, not alcoholics. I applaud you on your sobriety!

Is an apology enough?

Lois H., Las Vegas — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:07:16 GMT

When I was 16, a virgin and living temporarily in Miami Beach, I met an older lifeguard who invited me on a date. We went to a bar where we had some drinks. The next thing I remember we were necking in the back seat of his car. I blacked out and when I came to I had been raped. I didn't remember it happening but when I asked him if we had had sex he said we had and that I "moved" like I had done it before. When I got home and removed my clothes there was alot of blood. I remember asking my mother if a woman could get pregnant if she hadn't had a climax. Of course she said yes so I worried about pregnancy until my next period. Twenty years later I joined AA and repeated my story many times until I got tired of saying it. I was over it by the time I came to AA but it was an important part of my story and it did help other women for whom this had happened. This rape did not ruin my life and I didn't think about it at least once a week. In AA there is an expression that goes "don't let someone live in your head rent free." For whatever her reason, Elizabeth had a need to hold onto this incident. I wish I could say I feel sorry for her but I can't because I don't. By the way, I am now 67.

Is an apology enough?

Sue, Utah — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:30:22 GMT

Intrepidreporter...
And what does his employment have to do with it? Are you warning women like me who go to a Massage Therapist that he (as I have), has a sex problem?
You should be careful in what you say and are you afraid to use your name?

Is an apology enough?

Sha/IL — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:39:45 GMT

Sharon,
Your comment (as good intended it may be)in my opinion sounded way over the top. But I know we all have our own way of looking at things so I understand. I am happy that your niece was able to go on with her life, but unfortunatly some are not as stong as others. It's not for lack of trying its its because we all deal with things differently in this life.

Although, as you say, she made a bad choice it doesn't mean it was in any way her fault and I don't mean to say that you think it was her fault but I'm sure I have misunderstood. The fact that she made a decision of her own to go on and deal with the consquences of assault is very commending. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. But, for some, sorry to say it is not such an easy task.

Also, I am glad she kept the baby as it is not the childs fault that they were conceived from rape. The children conceived out of rape should not be punished for the crimes of others. I have an adopted daughter that was conceived by rape and then raped when she was 1 year old.........needless to say my heart goes out beyond words to all the innocent victims..................

I do think that some of us should have a better understanding of what rape is. To me it is clear to some, its just someone crying wolf.

Give my admiration to your neice as I am also proud of her. She would be a great advocate to victims everywhere.

Is an apology enough?

Joanne- Ar. — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:41:22 GMT

Texas Lady who didn't sign her name...hmmmm...why not?

How do you know that her friend left her at the party?
She may have left him to be with the other guys! Gee, maybe we should believe everything she says...sorry I don't buy her story. I think he was drunk and drugged too, so maybe, just maybe he is remembering it wrong.
A guy does not owe any girl any respect when she is out there asking for it. I wonder what sexy outfit she had on. I don't condone rape, but what did she expect
drinking at 17, going to a Frat House, going on a so called tour with guys and accepting a drink not knowing what it was. She was an A student, wasn't she!

Is an apology enough?

Helen, Alexandria — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:52:21 GMT

Diane O., Spokane

Thank You.....You said it all right!
I believe she is trying to get money, write a book, make a movie and receive pay appearing on many T.V. shows!
We all need to watch and see!

Is an apology enough?

Tina — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:57:04 GMT

You think he was drugged to?????????? Where did that come from? Your not bui are you?

Blogging Under The Influence.

Is an apology enough?

Jerry. Tunica, Ms — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:06:34 GMT

To The Intrepid Reporter,

I'm confused by your statement that he is a Massage Therapist. What has that got to do with it? so am I.
What is your name?

Is an apology enough?

Tina — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:08:18 GMT

Helen,
Get money, write a book, make a movie and receive pay from appearing on many TV shows?

Even if she did it dosen't mean she wasn't raped.

In case you have never seen it there have been some true rape stories on TV. They have helped many victims and non victims understand this kind of assault this really is (a crime of control), and how it effects the victims and families.

We should never give up the quest for justice to be served. As I've read in the comments before mine.

He raped her.
He confessed.
He should pay.

It dosen't get any clearer than that.

Is an apology enough?

Ken, Maryland — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:21:21 GMT

To "let it go" - thanks for the insightful response. It was very helpful.

I haven't talked to anyone about this for a very long time, and the advice I got was never good, but this blogging has been very cathartic. I agree with your logic; there doesn't seem to be any good outcome if I try to apologize. So there will be no contact or letter of apology. I just hate that the course of action for trying to do right vs. not caring at all is the same. I let it go long ago, (in terms of any hope of a relationship), I just wish I could figure how to get the guilt to let go of me.

Is an apology enough?

Adel — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:21:51 GMT

Joanne,

I left my door unlocked one night, a man came into my house. I was in my bed sleeping in my own home was it my fault?

Just asking it seems you think it was her fault. So So Sorry you are so wrong.

Is an apology enough?

Marie — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:26:19 GMT

Ken,

Lets face it, you let go of the guilt because you couldn't live with it anymore. That releases you from any further obligation to do the right thing. You have only taken this story and used it for your own personal gain, It's a Pity! Unfortunatly she is still living with it.

It's takes a strong man to do the right thing.

Is an apology enough?

Ken, Maryland — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:44:34 GMT

Marie,

You misunderstood what I wrote. I did not let go of the guilt. I do feel obligated to do the right thing. I don't know how to do that without causing more harm.
Tell me what the right thing is: 25yearsago@gmail.com

Is an apology enough?

Name withheld, Virginia — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:09:03 GMT

Liz did not deserve what happened to her, but her behavior put her in a position for the crime to happen and she (like every other 1st year woman) had been warned to be careful. I am a woman who went to UVA and knew Liz. We were in the same sorority. I was shocked to see her story on Dateline , and saddened to see some things left out that could help other young women. At the time UVA had a helpful policy in place, which I hope it still has. Within the 1st 2 weeks of school, a peer sexuality counselor met with the 1st year women of each dorm, warning them of dangerous situtations (walking home alone at night, being upstairs in fraternities alone, common sense things). There were also articles in the school paper. We were encouraged to always travel in packs if in fraternity houses, to not be left alone, to not go upstairs, and to be careful of being handed an unknown drink. I have a hard time believing that her resident advisor didn't also give her this information. Basically, don't do things at college that you wouldn't do at home (like going upstairs into stranger's houses) There was also a University Escort service available so you didn't have to walk alone. I only went to Phi Psi once, and left quickly as it was a total drug fraternity. Liz says she had 1 1/2 beers before she was slipped something, but that's at 3am and the party is closing down? What time did she get there? The point is this: she went to a party at a known "druggie" fraternity with only 1 person, got separated, drank, stayed late, went upstairs, took a drink from an unkown individual, and ended up raped. This is a tragic textbook case of what not to do and a lesson in pay attention and follow guidelines. I would hope Liz, if she really wants to help other women, will emphasize this. Again afterwards, in reporting the rape, Liz also didn't follow the guidelines set up, and so her case went nowhere. I don't fault UVA for this at all. (For those who think why should we have to follow these guidelines, we don't live in utopia. There are dangerous places in every city, and the fraternities are not on campus). It was sad to see her so embittered after all these years, but if her experience helps others, maybe she can find some peace.

Is an apology enough?

Marie — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:16:09 GMT

Ken,
Sorry no personal contact but one option would be to talk to a Pastor, Priest even if you don't go to church they would be more than happy to listen. You might also consider calling a local Rape Crisis Center or another name for the program is (Volunteer) Sexual Assault Victims Unit, they may be able to help you do the right thing. In some instances you may be able to be provided with free help.

Have you ever thought of being a voice for the victims of sexual assault even though you were an assailant? I beleive it could be rewarding while at the same time help yourself. From there only you can know what the right thing is. A man who raped helping sexual assault victims? It could work. And yes I am a Volunteer for the Sexual Assault Victims Unit and help is always needed.

Another thought.......Speaking at schools about this subject, and maybe your story. You might just reach another individual that has had the thought of rape in the mind. Lets face it some individuals plan rapes, it a scary thought but true.

Another word of advice, never give your email in a blog you will get raided with emails, this is a hot topic.

Is an apology enough?

Women stand up for yourselves, Liz Rocks — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:16:17 GMT

Vengeful Demeanor, Angry, Spiteful??? Why the hell wouldn't she be angry, spiteful or vengeful? I can tell you one thing, he's lucky it wasn't me or my daughter or he would be dead right now.

Is an apology enough?

Janice Gould, Mission Viejo, CA — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:33:29 GMT

I would like to know WHY her father did not contact the police when this incident happened. Maybe she was an 18 yr old girl who might have been fearful of contacting the police, but what about her parents????? Why in the world wouldnt they have contacted the police immediately when this happened??? That does not make any sense to me at all -

Is an apology enough?

Id theft afraid, Somewhere — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:38:59 GMT

Janice, I would like to know why her parents didn't contact the police myself. I wonder if the University put pressure on them to "just let it go for Liz's sake." Universities are notorious for hiding crimes b/c they are afraid of the loss of donations and sponsors.

Is an apology enough?

Id theft afraid, Somewhere — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:18:17 GMT

One of the blog entries above said that the local police had no jurisdiction over a crime committed on campus and that only the campus police could investigate. If this is true, it is ridiculous. Why would the law be written that way? That would explain why so many crimes happen on college campuses.

Is an apology enough?

Kirby, Fairfield — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 14:58:33 GMT

Good Lord, people. As a friend of Liz's, I will make this clear one more time. The University Dean of Students, Robert Canevari, told her parents, point blank - City Police don't have jurisdiction over a private fraternity house. The University Police did. (This turned out to be wrong) She went with a Dean to file a police report, had a medical exam done. They did not follow up with her since Beebe dropped out. That report has, conveniently "disappeared". Capt. Mike Sheffield of the University Police also famously bungled the disappearance and murder of a male student in 1986 by damaging the evidence and the site of the disappearance. IT's all about raising money for a powerful university.

And it actually is true that some parts of the University are governed by the City and some by the University Police. This is true. But Phi Kappa Psi - that's City Police and they were lied to!

So, it's not that they didn't try. They were simply told a big fat lie that they only uncovered recently. And to be frank, when you've been violently gang-raped, are straight-thinking will you or your parents be? You will note that Liz's father fought as hard as he could.

Damn, people. Stop blaming her.

Is an apology enough?

AlsoaPhi, Dallas — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:02:53 GMT

To name withheld:

Do you think after only 4 weeks on Grounds, Liz knew what sort of fraternity it was. As her "sister", I think it's terrible you are blaming her for what happened when she was green.

Also, I must correct you - she did follow the guidelines. She went to her RA, who took her straight to Dean Angela Davis, who took her straight to Dean Bob Canevari and then to Dean Sybil Todd.

Reveal yourself. It's terrible what you think of Liz when she is trying to help others by speaking at Universities and beginning a non-profit. That's not sisterly behavior.

It's rather like those fraternity brothers covering up so the others won't be arrested. Perhaps you married a Phi Psi?

Is an apology enough?

Ilsa, Rye — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:48:52 GMT

For Helen:

Network television never pays its subjects to appear in interviews. Also, note she is criminally (not civilly - that would mean money) pursuing justice. I don't think Ms. Seccuro has profited one red cent from her tragedy.

And you know what? If she does, good for her. She began a foundation and I am sure some of the profits will go to her foundation. She's not hurting for money. Husband's an investment banker, I see in the piece.

So, remove your "money" bias and you have no leg to stand on.