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Kidnapped teen: 'Bunker was hell'

Posted: Thursday, March 06, 2008 7:14 PM by Dateline Editor
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Elizabeth Shoaf, the brave high school girl who was held hostage for ten days in an underground bunker and managed her own rescue, speaks out in great detail for the first time to "Dateline's" Keith Morrison in "Into the Woods," a very special two-hour Dateline, airing Friday, March 7, at 9pm on NBC. Below she writes about the experience.

By Elizabeth Shoaf

Down in the bunker was hell.   When I first went in, it was very dark and cold. I couldn’t see anything and everything looked creepy.  After Vinson turned on the lights, it was even creepier. It looked unreal, almost like I was in a really bad dream.

I saw a bunch of shelves made out of trees and rope, with food on them. Tables were made of coolers and plastic mini tables, along with a strange bedlike thing literally made out of trees, swimming floats and comforters. The toilet was made of a nasty bucket and a broken plastic chair over it with a hole in the middle.  Later on, I noticed more shelves with things like batteries and a lot of electronic stuff that I still don’t know what they were. There was also a chimney made out of aluminum that went out to the ground that he would actually use to make fires.

When I was first down there it was chilly. It was always like that at night, but in the mornings when I woke up it was dreadful. It was muggy and hot and I had to sleep in a single person bed with him and me in it and I could never get comfortable. Down there it was very dirty.  No matter where you went in the bunker you would get dirt on you, so you couldn’t stay clean.

While I was down there in the bunker I prayed all the time. Of course at first I prayed for him not to kill me. After a few days, when I had the feeling he wasn’t going to, I started to pray about my family and for them to somehow know that I was OK.

When I started to try and escape I prayed for God to help me find a way to get out. Also I prayed for God to forgive me for whatever I did because I kind of thought I was being punished. I wanted God to forgive me and help me to get away and take me safely back to my family, boyfriend and friends. I also prayed a lot to God for him to help me to calm down and pretty much stay cool. When Vinson found out on the news that I sent a text message I of course prayed that he wouldn’t kill me.  After he left I thanked God so much for everything and I still do a lot.  When I prayed it helped me to calm down more and to have hope. At the moment though, I sort of didn’t believe that my prayers were being answered , because every time I prayed nothing would happen until finally the day Vinson left.

Without my family and boyfriend and friends and prayer I wouldn’t have made it. I never really prayed a lot. I would only pray every so often whenever I was in need. And now it isn’t any different I still pray the same, I also feel the same about God, too. I still worship him and believe in him like I always have.

I think that Vinson, the man that kidnapped me, is just stupid. He isn’t crazy because if he was, he would have killed me or done something worse.  He knew what he was doing and he got outsmarted. Not to be snobby, but he thought he could get away with kidnapping and raping me for 10 days and I, 14 years old, outsmarted him -- a 36-year-old man.

He is a sore loser to me and I will never forgive him ever in my life. He doesn’t deserve it. He changed sooo much that will never be fixed again.  He took my innocence. He took my trust in people. Now I get depressed. At one moment for a few months, I couldn’t sleep. I had panic attacks and I still think about it all the time.  I can just walk around and see something and it will remind me of when I was down there, and sometimes it can make me sad and some times it can even put me into a panic attack. He pretty much scarred me and I will never forgive him for it.

I hope this haunts him the rest of his life. He deserves worse than he is getting and he better be thankful that the cops caught him and not the public. I haven’t written him yet and I don’t plan on it. I don’t care for him and I couldn’t care less if he knew about how I feel about what he did to me.

Click to read Elizabeth's mom telling how she first heard her kidnapped daughter was still alive.

For those interested in communicating with the Shoaf family, e-mail shoafs5@gmail.com.

Keith Morrison compared the relative strength of Elizabeth Shoaf and her captor Vinson Filyaw.

Click here for complete coverage of this case.

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Comments

I agree with Troy, From LA. It is beound me that the meida whoud put her life in danger. Just so thy have a story. I think thy should be in perison with vinson. Thy are just as sick as he is. Elizabeth you are a trew hero. May god walk with you and hold you for evey. He is the only way you got threw this and he is the only way you will heal. You are my hero!
You go ahead and be angry for now, you are entitled. Continue to focus on yourself and your recovery - with time, you will find your way.  Just don't let those 10 days define who YOU are for the next 22,000+ days of your life.
Kimberly of Indiana- well said...forgiveness through the Lord is the ultimate answer.

Elizabeth- we are praying for the Lord's healing in your life. Righteous anger is good and part of the process, but true healing comes with forgiveness. The Lord bless you always.
Elizabeth,
LIke Kimberly's comments said i also was raped not once but twice by different people, and many times i though about not forgiving  those that this that horrible act to me, but when you hand over your soul and heart to God, he takes care of you and you feel free, i love the fact that your family is by your side and that should always be the case, i together with you praise an Almighty God and he has made me free, you can ask God to take that pain away and He will. I had to learn on how to forgive,but i never told those people that i forgave them, God still has some work to do in me, but don't give that person the satisfaction of knowing he still has control over you, because he doesn't. i feel your pain, but remember God Works miracles every day, and you are a beautiful proof of that.God Bless you and continue to be strong.
Elizabeth, you are a very strong young woman.  I've had 2 friends who have had sorta similar experiences.  While they weren't held in a place like you were, in some ways it was worse, they were held captive in plain sight.  
A big help for them to deal with some of the issues that pop up from nowhere was a book called Wounded Heart.  The author's name is allender I think.  It deals with thoughts you may not even know you are having yet.  He helps chart a path back to a place my friends felt more comfortable in.
You are a strong young woman, and brave.  I'm sure you will be ok without the book.  But it seems to have helped my friends a lot in dealing with the shadows in their mind they couldn't see created by their experience/s.  

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Pretty girl, amazing she can still find it in herself to smile!  Though she does have much to smile about by surviving such an ordeal.  This young lady and Elizabeth Smart made it back home.  Just think of the ones that didn't make it home, makes me sick to think of it.
Everyone should take this strong young lady's example. Pray to God for protection and keep him in your thoughts always. Incase you haven't noticed...darkness is every where. You have to be vigilant at all times no matter where you are. Be a force for good, a light in the darkeness. Do NO evil and pray over your children, this is very powerful.
I was brutally attacked by someone I trusted and loved.  The nightmares, anxiety attacks and fear were more than I could bear.  Fortunately, while going through counseling, it was suggested that I admit myself to an in-house New Life program through a hospital.  It was intense group and private therapy.  All of us there were victims.  I was there 30 days, voluntarily, no drugs unless you agreed to them.  I hope with all my heart there is a program like this that you can attend.  It changed my life.  You can forgive your abuser for his sickness, but you certainly don’t have to forgive what he did to you.  God bless you and give you strength and guidance.
I am disturbed by all the unsolicited advice about how she must forgive this man.
Forgivenesss cannot be rushed. Nor can it forced upon someone because of the ideals and beliefs of others. She has been through enough. Most can't even imagine what she has been through.
If she chooses to forgive him one day, it will be through her own time, healing, and soul-searching. It is none of YOUR or MY business if she ever does, however.
You cannot rush forgiveness and it is inappropriate for anyone to expect a 14-year-old girl who has experienced what she has, to have achieved forgiveness for someone who abused her like that in such a short time span. If she never does, that is her business. So folks, please step off.
Elizabeth, I applaud your courage and strength and I will pray for your healing.
What a terrible thing to happen to anyone, let alone a 14 year old. She showed amazing strength throughout her ordeal. I find it troubling that people are questioning her reliance on prayer and her belief in God to get through this. We have the right to be whatever religion we want. If you want to pray to Santa - more power to you. It is scary to think about what might have happened to her if she didn't have something to believe in and keep her going. Hang in there, Elizabeth! You are a remarkable young woman with so much more to look forward to in life.
Thank God for cell phones so she can attempt to make text messages to escape from this loser. I wouldn't forgive him either. If he ever asked for forgiveness, I'd tell him to get a life.
Dear Elizabeth
I did not go through what you went through. I can't even imagine what it must have been like. I do know that when I was a child, I remember the molestation and when I grew up to be an adult. The unforgiveness that I held in my heart for those individuals for years kept me from moving forward. Since my forgiving them and letting go and believe me it was not easy for me to do, my life in Christ is so much better.It is going to take some time but it will come and you will be able to forgive and move on. Your a beautiful young girl and the Lord will give you the peace that passes all understanding. I'm so so sorry you had to exprience such a horrific ordeal. You stay strong and stay focused.The Lord has a plan for you!
Miss Elizabeth,  
You are a Strong Courageous Young Woman! Thank God, you are back home safe with your family & friends! I am praying for your self healing & a long, happy and successful life.  Vinson will have to live with the demons that will haunt him for his horrible actions. I know its hard but try to remember the following quote..."Justice does not come from the outside. It comes from inner peace." ~ Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000.
I wish you all the best Elizabeth!  If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it, Happy moments, praise God, Difficult moments, seek God.  Quit moments, worship God, Painful moments, trust God. Every moments thank God!
Elizabeth:   your faith has strenghtened my personal faith and beliefs.   thank you for your courage and trust.   the only thing left now is to forgive this pathetic loser and continue to grow in i positive way.

it must be difficult for you but sont let this experience ruin your zest for life.  God did help and save you.  he heard you and your faith and turning to forgiveness accessed the power which is there for all of us to access.

I wish you all that is good and beautiful to fill your life for all your days here on this sometimes cruel but often beautiful world in which we live.  God's justice and providence is alive!
my dear sister ,Elizabeth,
Behold,the eyes of the lord is on those who fear him,on those who hope in his mercy to deliver their soul from death and to keep them alive in famine ps33:18-19
the angle of the lord encamps all around those who fear him and delivers them ps34:7
may god be with you.
hey Elizabeth this is kristen i know this made you mad and i would be the same way if he did that to me! i love you so much and i am ahppy to be your cousin and i am just so happy he wasnt crazy and killed you. i am also happy we can get to go to sleep now knowing you are safe in your house! I LOVE YOU!
Elizabeth,
Thank you for staying with God through your ordeal.  Often we pray and expect immediate results.  You have shown all of us that God does listen, but answers in His time, not ours.  Thankfully your prayers appear to have gotten a quick response.  You are in my prayers and will be for some time.  God bless you and thank you for showing us your strength and trust in God.
Thank God you're here to tell your story.People like him should be locked away forever.
Elizabeth,

Thank God you are home safe. I was molested by my stepfather starting when I was your age and I do understand where you are right now. This man took your childhood, your innocence. Get into therapy! I can't stress this enough. I didn't get it until many years later and I didn't even know I was holding all this anger in until I started therapy. It does help to talk about it. I applaud your strength and your family for raising such a strong young lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God bless you!
Dear Elizabeth,
What a very strong girl you are. God has blessed you very much. Use your strength and wisdom to help others. There are others out there needing the strength you have, share that strength....someone has there hand out needing it.
Elizabeth is brave because she kept her head and is living her life as best she can after such a shattering trauma. Can we all just stop telling her what to feel, how to think, and why she should or shouldn't believe in God for a minute and just express our heartfelt sorrow at what she went through and our equally heartfelt thanks that she is alive today? Elizabeth, I hope you never think that this was your fault. It was nothing you did or didn't do, no failure of yours. You're a survivor, and this happened to you. You did nothing to bring it on yourself, and you never ever deserved it.
I have to agree that, yes, yuo are still very angry at what happened to you.  However, the Bible, the WOrd of God whom you still worship and pray to & love, says we are to forgive those who do us harm, for if we cannot forgive, then how can God forgive us?  WHich He does, hourly, in most of our cases.  The Bible tells us to forgive 7 x 70 times a day!  Do the math!  I know it is very hard and can be excruitating to do, but we have to in order for God to forgive us.  We are praying for you.
Elizabeth, you are truly amazing.  i understand your anger and grief.  i was never kidnapped and held the way that you were, but was married for the longest 9 months of my life to an abusive man who wouldn't give me my divorce for another year and a half after i left.  though i'll never forget what he did and i can't really forgive him, i came to terms with what happened to me and have moved on.  sure, there are still times when things set me into a panic mode and the guys that i work with know to not surprise me and they all know why, but time will pass and you will move on.  as a parent, i don't think that i would ever be able to move past this if it happened to my daughter so you, as well as your parents and family, will be in my thoughts and prayers.  i, like you, don't pray regularly but when i read something like this i say a small prayer...hope it helps.  take care, sweetie, and stay strong.  i wish the best for you and yours.
I wanted to say that I think you are a very strong girl and this along with your family, friends,counseling and most of all GOD will see you through. I never went through what you did but I was molested by my father while I was growing up. I kept the secret for many years of the many times it happened to me but through God, family, friends and eight years of counseling I got my life back. I'm not saying it was easy and there are still times when the nightmares come back but I have a loving pearson in my life that lets me know everyday that everythings alright and if I need to cry just holds me. You have already started the healing by telling your story and keeping God in your heart. If people tell you that you have to forgive him to be free they are wrong all you have to do is stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over. God is the one that will decide weather he is worthy of forgiveness or not. Remember it was not your fault and let your friends and family know that you know how much they love you and that you know that they did everything they could to find you. They also need to be told that they were in know way the blame. There love for you and the strenght they gave you is what kept you going. You shall be in my prayers and I hope that after all you endured you find peace. Remember it will seem like everytime you take a step forward something keeps pulling you back but its not it all just takes time . So fill your life with people you love and who love you and things will get better.
Dear Elizabeth,
Your story touched me. I am a young girl of 17 stuggling with my faith in today's superficial world, but the way you put your faith in God to bring out of this horrific situation has inspired me to pray again. I do not know whether I could have had your strength and courage in such a situation, I am amazed at how you found that in God and yourself. To Richard from Baltimore and his cynical atheism, I hope he realises that God was what got you through this. Thank you Elizabeth, for showing me, and the world, the power of prayer. I pray that God punishes this sick, disturbed man, and gives you the strength to make something good of this situation, and to live your life free of this experience, as the smart young woman you are.
God bless you, and best of luck for everything. From a girl inspired by your power.  
I commend you Elizabeth for being so smart & brave through your ordeal. Something similar happened to me as well when I was the same age. I too out smarted a much older man,however he was NEVER caught. Because my parents refuse to pursue it.
It's amazing how with God's guidance even the young naive type can over come. Keep looking to him for strength.
Good luck with your recovery and If you are anything like I turned out, after my ordeal, you will always stay one step ahead of the creeps & perverts. Victims no more!!!!  May God continue to bless you girl.
You are an amazing girl.I hope you are in therapy to keep your depression under control. As for forgiving him? Hmmm.. I say hate him with eveything you've got...for now. Then someday sweetie, when you are ready, you don't necessarily have to forgive him...just let go of the hatred. Hate can eat you up inside like cancer. When you are ready to let it go, you'll find peace.
Dear Elizabeth,
I've never been in your shoes, but I can say that you were and are and will always be a smart and brave person for what you had to go through, it was a long time for you to go through what you went through and I'm glad you made it out and are and will be ok, I dont know if I would have made because you had to deal with and put up a fight of your own mind to keep yourself safe while trying to make it out alive,  I give you alot of courage and I wish you and your family and friends happiness and faith that all of you stay safe and "GOOD LUCK" with your recovery.
   Elizebeth,

   Your ordeal was a tear-jerker. however, please find it in your heart to forgive the beast who hurt you. As we forgive the other, God forgives us. Okay?

Russell Lee
You are an amazing inspiration! Your parents have done a great job with raising such a wise and brave daughter~ God Bless you and best wishes!
BTW...I forgot to tell you HOW SMART YOU ARE!
You did everything right to the best of your ability!
You did what you knew and that was brilliant!

KUDOS!!!!!
Ms. Liz(Elizabeth)
You are a BRAVE young lady, your family must be so proud of you, where did you draw your strength from. Have you thought about talking to younger kids in elemtary school, about being brave and speaking up. God had to have been there with you, so now let go and let god.
elizabeth.i`m sorry for everything that happened to you it`s just so sad.don`t let him take anything else from you..go on with your life.you are a precious strong young woman.
Elizabeth, You are an amazing person.  I am in awe of your courage and poise.  
wow, what maturity you showed and at the end of the TV program . . . talk about a beautiful smile!  I pray you'll keep going and become a great teacher or counselor for others.
You are very beautiful. I find your strength very inspirational. I really wish you the best. Good luck in all your future endeavors.
In the hopes that Elizabeth reads these comments:  You are amazing.  Watching your story, I could not help but marvel at your strength and your ability to keep such a level head during the most horrible conditions imaginable.  I am in awe of your bravery and hope that you and your family find peace in your lives.  Take care and God Bless you.  
Elizabeth, I watched the whole dateline tonight and it really touched me. You had so much courage and, believe it or not, you made me smile throughout your interview. No matter what you kept a smile on your face. You made me, a 17 year old, realize just how much strength and intelligence us girls have.

I hope things look up and God bless you.
This story is so captivating. It's truly amazing how brave Elizabeth is. I was stuck to the tv screen watching Dateline. I didn't miss one second of it. This man is a sick individual and I am sooo proud of you and so glad he is behind bars. When they announced he will be spending 421 years I believe in jail... I saw that smile light up on your face and I swear it could have lit up an entire state. I am so happy and glad for you that he is locked away. You never deserved and I hope that you can have a wonderful life knowing he can never hurt you again.
Elizabeth,
After watching this on TV i am here almost in tears for you. I can't tell you how strong you are. And it is so amazing how you kept you faith in God, that must have been hard. I am 22 and couldn't imagine being in that situation and i don't even know if I would have been as brave as you. I'm sorry you had to go through that situation, but I, and i am sure the rest of America thinks this too, are an amazing young woman and are so brave. Keep your faith in God, he can bring you through anything. God Bless you!!
This is definitely the definition of a miracle. To watch and listen to your story, hurts me and aches my heart. You are a beautiful girl, and i can only imagine how your parents feel cause i have a teenage daughter. I pray for you and ask god to take away your nightmares, cause you deserve peace. You are corageous and i admire you, and pray for you daily.
Elizabeth,
You are a remarkable young women and I am overwhelmed by your strength and courage!  Your future is so bright and I wish you the best!  Thank You for your sharing your story.
Elizabeth's strength and smart thinking should be an inspiration to us all!  Her poise and eloquence is aweinspiring.
I am 48 years old and do not have half the strength you have shown. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse and want to tell you to hang in with your counselor; eventually you will stop dreaming about the horror.  You have such a wonderful future; with your brains and strength I expect to hear about an adult Elizabeth doing something amazing.  God Bless you!
Elizabeth you are a very brave girl to have gone through and survived what you have survived. I too as a child was raped by my father and know the fear you may have been feeling, I always pray that something like this will never happen to my own daughter as I always tell her you have to be very aware of your surroundings and never trust anyone!! I am truly glad that you are here with us all and able to tell your story so other girls are aware that this indeed is real and can happen. Stay strong Elizabeth and remember none of this was your fault :)
Elizabeth, you are sooo smart!  I wish I could have had the mind you had when a man deceived me.  May God bless and protect your every wish and steps for now forward.   I still struggle with the many acts of deception men have exerted on me, learning also that I have been too trusting and nieve in some instances, but I've learned to look after me.  I have a hard time learning how to cope after that, so I understand a little, but what you went through, man, you are sooo strong.  I know through you that the human spirit can never be broken unless you decide it. Way to go!!!! Love, Tamra
You are an amazing girl!  Thank God that you survived and that the man responsible is behind bars.  God is able to help us through the unthinkable.  Your strength is an inspiration.  Stay strong!  God Bless.  Barbara, Kentucky
Elizabeth, you are the most amazing, powerful, and astounding person I have seen on TV in years. That's counting political leaders, celebrities, models, musicians, everyone. I have the deepest respect for you; you truly are an inspiration. My prayers are with you that you and your family will somehow recover from this horrendous violation.
Elizabeth,

WOW,I still have tears flowing down my face. All I can say is I am so proud to have heard your story. Not because of all the horrible things that happened to you, but because of the incrediable bravery you have shown for yourself and possible others in bad situations. You have shown that even if something bad happens that you can still go on in life with a positive and happy attitude. I think there is nothing wrong with wanting to think about what has happened. You are dealing with the situation in the way that makes you feel comfortable. I wish you all the best in life, you keep your head up and keep on smiling...


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